Immediate Family Page #3

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he has a penis.

Yes, I'll put you through.

Sampson Lurie.

Will you let them take the feedings,

or do you want the baby?

They can feed him.

Will you consent to being moved off

the maternity floor after delivery?

Okay.

You'll be on the surgical unit

for the duration of your stay.

You can visit the baby,

but the staff will be instructed...

...that this is an adoption, and the

decisions will be made accordingly.

Do you understand that, Lucy?

- It's gonna be their baby.

- Yes.

Yes, I understand that.

Hello.

- Hello, Linda?

- Yeah.

Lucy. Hi.

There's nothing wrong, is there?

Is there a mall or something

you could take me to sometime?

- Because I need to buy a present.

- Sure.

Sam's coming.

- Who?

- Sam. My boyfriend, Sam.

Okay. Why don't I pick you up

around 10:
30 or 11:00?

- Okay.

- Okay.

- Great.

- See you then.

- Thanks.

- Bye-bye.

- Sam's coming.

- Sam?

The father.

Which one do you think?

I was going to suggest that one.

- Just like Michael's, right?

- Just like mine.

Right. I'll get this one.

Down. Get down. That's a good dog.

You must be starving.

Yeah.

Come on. Come on, girl.

Look around for a while,

and I'll get us something to eat.

Okay.

You don't have any water.

Sorry, sweetie. Good dog.

Nice bedroom.

Nice and cheerful.

Thanks.

- That's a flowering plum tree.

- Is it?

I don't know much about gardening.

You gonna put the crib

over here?

Well, I was thinking of putting it

over here to keep it out of the drafts.

In the spring, this tree is gonna be

covered with all these pink flowers.

Be nice to wake up to pink flowers.

You do this. Punch

a lot of holes in the lemon.

You put it in the cavity

of the chicken, and then you roast it.

It gives it a really nice flavour,

and it's very easy.

It's probably very boring

to hear about.

Put it in there for a while.

- Would you like some carrots?

- Yeah.

You and Michael have been

married for 10 years?

Well, actually, it's 11.

December 15th.

So how do you do it?

How do you stay married that long?

You're asking me the secret

of a good marriage?

Well, no, you don't have

to tell me secrets.

No, no, no.

I don't know. I guess respect

and affection and a lot of laughs.

And a sense of yourself.

And only one person

gets to be crazy at a time.

Right now it's my turn.

They're so cute.

Like little doll records.

- I used to love dolls.

- Me too. Not all girls like them.

Not having a Barbie

was a tragedy of my life.

You had a good life.

- Could you put this on?

- Really?

I have all my mom's old records.

She loved Van Morrison.

Yeah, sure.

They hated the weather here, so

when Dad retired, they moved to L.A.

We visit them every January.

- Ever seen any movie stars?

- I saw Cary Grant.

He was in a plumbing store. I was

with my sister. He looked incredible.

And I saw Fred Astaire in Hollywood.

And...

- Groucho Marx.

- Groucho Marx in Westwood.

Most celebrities die shortly after

being recognized by Linda.

How about you?

I don't get caught up in that thing.

Honey, how about when you

saw O.J. Simpson?

- The Juice?

- You saw him?

- That was a kick. Come on.

- And Jabbar?

- Jabbar!

- You notice a 7-foot-tall guy.

- You followed him to the men's room.

- I did not follow him in.

- We happened to have...

- He leapt up.

What time is it?

- It's 9:
00. Why?

- You miss the game?

- Yeah. No, no, I didn't, I taped it.

- Are you going to watch it later?

Maybe. If I have the time.

I like to watch sports...

...but my life doesn't depend on

seeing the game.

- I'll watch it with you.

- Yeah?

My life does depend on it.

Going long for Paul Downey.

- It's intercepted. Come on.

- Intercepted! Run, run...

What is he doing? What?

He's standing there!

- Bring him down. All right!

- Watch your back!

- Charlie, my man!

- First and goal.

Instant replay. Slow-mo.

Give it to me.

That is my kid brother, Jeffrey, when

he was 2. And the dork is me at 12.

- Is that you too?

- Yeah.

That dog is Ellen's grandmother.

Samantha.

- Really?

- Yeah.

Where is that?

Is that Woodstock?

No. No, that's actually right outside

of Cornell College.

In Ithaca. It's where we went

to school. It's very different now.

That's a nice house.

- Isn't that great?

- Yeah.

That was my grandmother's, upstate.

I spent summers there as a kid.

I have some great memories

of that place.

- You know your whole history.

- Well, I know about that house.

When you're adopted,

you probably wonder.

- Is that your mom?

- Yeah.

She's pretty.

This is my friend Kristin

and her son Tony.

This little jerk used to live across

the street. He'd throw onions at me.

This is my great-aunt, Nina.

She's a chemistry teacher.

- Hi.

- Hi.

We're just looking at my pictures.

This is my stepsister and my

stepbrother. Celia and Bobby.

Cute, huh?

This is my cousin Alice. She's dead.

She died a couple of years ago.

That's my cousin Dennis.

I don't like his wife

so I cut her out of the picture.

- This is my best friend, Michele.

- Let's see.

She cut her hair.

This is my mom. That's me.

I don't know who this is.

God, I gotta clean out my wallet.

And this is my stepfather, Jerry.

And that's his new truck.

He's real proud of that.

And this is Sam.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- This is Sam.

- Hi.

- How you doing?

- This is Michael and Linda.

- Hello, Sam. Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

- Welcome to Seattle.

- Yeah. It's nice.

- Yeah.

- This isn't the best part.

- Yeah, what's the best part?

- Me.

Shall we? Why don't

you get in the back, Lucy.

Okay.

Hold on, sweetheart.

I'll get that for you.

Thanks, sweetie.

- Nice. Five.

- Five. Yeah.

That's gears we're talking about?

Five speed?

- Yeah.

- Yeah. Five.

Turbo. You got good taste in cars.

You get one point for that.

We're being graded.

Jesus! Jesus Christ!

My finger!

- Jesus!

- Do something!

Oh, my God!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Bad joke.

- He always does that.

- I was kidding.

Funny.

I thought we'd go to the beach, Sam.

Yeah, Sam never saw the ocean.

I went every summer when I was

little. It's where my dad could relax.

- How about some sounds?

- Sure.

I got a Clarion. How many points?

Sam, Lucy didn't tell us much

about your background.

Yeah, well, there's not much to tell.

I had one.

So, what business

are your parents in?

They're not in a business.

They're in a job.

It's okay, Sam.

I told them everything about me.

My mom has worked in a bakery

since she was 12.

- That sounds interesting.

- Yeah, well, it's not.

And my dad, he's...

We gotta tell them about our lives.

In case the baby needs a transfusion.

My dad worked in a factory that made

cabinets. But mainly he was a drunk.

There are a lot of people

with drinking problems.

There's nothing to be ashamed of.

Well, he was a pretty mean drunk.

Most are. But some people

are also cheerful when they drink.

The last time he got real drunk,

he hit a guy at the plant.

He used a metal pipe or something.

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