In Country Page #7

Oh, you got your period?

No.

I finally got up my courage

and told Ken about the baby.

At first he was real shocked

but then he was happy!

Dawn, you didn't plan it.

You didn't want this baby.

What are you going to tell it when it grows up?

That it was an accident.

Babies should be born because somebody loved

and somebody wanted them.

No, I want it!

Ken wants it too!

Dawn, if I was you I'd get an abortion

for my own good.

I'm just going to pretend that I didn't hear you say that.

God, I couldn't do that.

Listen I'm happy, Sam.

I'm happy.

Can't you just be happy for me?

Honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

I really didn't.

God, I'm always thinking about myself.

Listen, you be happy. Hear?

I'm worried about you, Sam.

What's gonna happen to you?

High Aunt Donna!

Momma!

Momma! Little Sam!

Hi Grandpa!

Hello Sam.

How you doing?

You're looking good.

How you been, honey?

Alright.

Where'd you get that thing?

My momma got it for me.

Really?

Oh, Well...

How's Grandma and Aunt Donna?

They're fine.

Come on, get in here.

Are the biscuits ready yet?

I got the chicken Donna.

You get the rest.

I'll check 'em.

This gravy needs a little thickening up.

Joe, tell Sam about Dwayne.

She's here wanting to know more about her daddy.

I remember when Dwayne

first brought your mother out here.

She was a skinny little squirt

like you once was.

That was just after I was born.

I used to get so tickled at her.

She came out once

and she brought a kite with her.

And if she didn't run out in her high heels

in the meadow and fly that thing

I'm not here.

Did he love her?

Just a minute.

Well, he's young.

When you're young you don't know

what you really feel.

But I saw how she felt when the news come.

Because she was carrying you Sam.

she was as big as a barn.

You okay?

Was there a big funeral?

It was a closed casket.

They told us not to open and look.

And that was very hard because

you're supposed to prepare the body

and watch over it.

It's something that brings you together.

But it was like he wasn't there

because we couldn't see him.

And the neighbors started bringing food.

Oh, I tell ya,

they just kept on a bringing things to eat.

Lutia Cunningham brought a whole ham

and a gallon of potato salad

and three pies.

In a way it was a relief

when we got the body in the ground.

They wrote and told what a help he was

to his country.

It was like we never really got to watch over him

but it was closed casket.

Why don't we go to the

monument in Washington

and see his name at the wall.

You know, I've seen pictures of that.

I thought about it.

Well, why not?

I couldn't do that at my age?

Joe's been everywhere in WWII and all

but I've never been out of my time zone.

Pass the gravy will ya?

Well, Mom said that you had a notebook

or a diary or something of Daddy's.

You want that?

Well, yes.

It ain't personal you know.

Troop movements and like that.

Not loving like his letters.

Well, I don't mind.

I don't have the slightest memory of him.

My own brother.

Ain't that a shame?

Everyone always thought that it was something

that Dwayne left you behind on earth for us.

Like a gift.

Be present at our table Lord.

Be here and everywhere.

Each creature's blessed

and grant that we may feast in paradise with thee.

Amen.

Amen.

You didn't get any greens Sam.

No mail today.

No cigarettes. Raining.

July 5.

Hotshot says we're getting closer .

Hands cracked and bleeding.

Depressed. That letter from Irene

got me out of it.

Baby kicking strong.

Shelling at dark.

July 6.

Walking point all day.

Like hunting rabbits.

Miss those great Fall days.

Autumn leaves.

Change of seasons.

July 7.

Eddie lookin' for trouble.

Volunteered to walk point.

He's solid black and real quiet.

Hotshot says he wouldn't say sh*t

if he had a mouthful.

July 8th.

Hotshot in a rage.

He works us like a team of dogs

but if Hotshot didn't get so mad

we wouldn't be as good as we are.

9 July.

Burned hooches.

Pregnant woman didn't want to come out.

Hotshot made Darrel pull her out

before she burned up with the house.

I pray Irene and babe OK.

I try to play that she's here with me

but when I get her in my mind real good

she floats away.

I don't want her here to see this.

July 10.

Found a dead gook under some rotten leaves.

Interesting to see the body parts broken down

like in biology.

Bobby G stirred a stick around in it

and some teeth fell out.

Darrel taken one for good luck.

July 11.

Daddy's birthday.

Thinking about home.

July 12.

Face to face with a VC.

I won.

Clean head shot.

Back of his head come off.

Pictures of his babies in his pocket.

Easier than I thought.

Sh*t!

Take cover!

Let's get the f*** out of here.

When I get back to the world

this will be a dream.

But now, the world is a dream.

Hotshot says we're almost there.

Oh God, Emmett!

What are you...

What are you doing out here?

Humping the boonies.

This ain't Vietnam.

It's just some swamp for boy scouts

to get lost in.

How'd you find me?

Hell, it was just like you.

I knew you had that diary.

Did you read it?

The way he talked about those gooks

and that killing. I hated it.

I don't like him anymore.

You don't like him anymore.

That's so f***ing weak. Who are you to say that about him.

You know, when I first come back here

and I looked around at everybody

it made me remember how in country

every second you was on guard

or you died.

It made you keen.

It made you sleep with your eyes open.

Every cell in your body was awake.

Full of electricity.

That was being alive I think.

Then I come back here and I look around

and what I saw how weak everybody's game was.

You might not like him anymore.

Who the Hell are you to judge him.

I'll tell you something, Sam.

When all your best buddies are getting all shot to Hell

it feels pretty damn good getting even.

I don't want to hear about it!

Yes, you do.

Yes, you do. You wanted to know.

You've been at me and you've been at me

and now you can damn well listen.

When everybody you care about, even just a little

gets killed one after the other.

Sometimes just in a big pile of broken bones and blood and guts.

Well, after a while you... after a while

you just don't care anymore.

Because you if you do. If you let yourself care.

If you let yourself make a friend.

Then that person is gonna get killed too.

So after a while you just quit feeling.

You understand that?

Huh, you understand that little girl?

Here you are walking around Hopewell High

wondering about whether somebody

is looking at you the right way or am I... Sh*t.

And they're all still alive.

You know that?

In my head.

They're all sitting around a village that's all burnt out

eating ham and motherfuckers

waiting for a Huey to come and evacuate us.

They got a dead VC propped up against a hooch

with a cowboy hat on and

cigarette stuck in his mouth.

They're all wondering where's ole Emmett.

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