In Search of Fellini

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[church bell tolls]

[whip cracks]

[drumming]

[Woman] The rabbit hole dipped

suddenly down... [chains rattling]

...down, down, down.

[man speaking in Italian]

The beautiful confusion...

[man] Lucy!

[gasping]

[Kerri] We all have to grow

up... eventually.

My sister Claire, however,

did not agree.

[indistinct conversations]

She was a normal kid

except somehow

never stopped believing

in magic and fairy tales

and true love,

which basically made her

a magnet for creeps.

Get off me!

Yeah, ouch.

Luckily,

we were super popular.

Except not really.

I was never what you'd call

a sweet child,

and Claire...

Claire had problems.

But we Cunninghams

always had one thing in common:

we didn't give a sh*t

about what other people

thought about us.

[man on television]

Farewell. Farewell.

But Claire kept on dreaming,

and as we all know,

you should never dream

unprotected.

Lucy Jean Cunningham.

Hey.

From that moment on,

Claire had one purpose:

to keep Lucy safe

from anything and anyone.

Yep, even me.

[man on television]

You want the moon?

Just say the word

and I'll throw a lasso

around it and pull it down.

Hey,

that's a pretty good idea.

I'll give you the moon,

Mary.

I'll take it.

"But I don't want to go among

mad people," Alice remarked.

[Kerri] Okay, so I know every

parent lies to their kids,

Santa Claus, and whatnot,

but Claire took it

to a whole new level.

She made sure nothing bad

happened to anyone,

not even the goldfish,

who mysteriously left one day

for the Great Barrier Reef.

Or Dorothy,

who departed suddenly

to become a competitive

goat herder.

Or Grandpa Peter,

who stopped visiting

and calling

but never stopped writing.

I don't know how much

of this crap Lucy believed.

But she went with it.

And they lived

happily ever after.

Oh, except for one

little problem.

[boys] Hey, Lucy!

Yeah?

[laughter]

Surprise.

This is like...

this is a boring part, hold on.

[Kerri] The problem with

boys is that they're idiots.

[boy] You farted!

[laughter]

[Kerri] They were only ever

interested in one thing...

I see your butt crack!

...and it wasn't Lucy.

There was one boy, though.

I called him Ears.

Lucy fell in love...

hardcore.

But it didn't last.

[thunder rumbles]

Claire made it right.

In the end,

they were happy.

Honestly,

how many can say that?

There was no reason

to do anything else.

They always had time.

Luce?

Mm-hmm?

Does my butt look big

from that angle?

Huge.

[laughing]

[singing indistinctly]

[Kerri] Did you ever discuss

her going to college?

[Claire] Yeah,

but she just didn't want to go.

She didn't want to go,

or you didn't want her to go?

I want her to do something that

she's really passionate about.

Your real life is in

your dreams, anyway.

I'm sorry,

what was that?

[muffled] Your real life

is in your dreams.

I think I read that

on a coffee mug.

[man on television] This is a

very interesting situation!

[woman on television]

Please give me my robe!

[man on television]

[Claire coughing]

a situation like this

every day.

[woman on television]

I'd like to have my robe!

[man on television]

Not in Bedford Falls anyway.

[woman squeals on television]

Gesundheit.

Requires a little thought here.

[woman on television]

Give me my robe!

It's fairly far along.

[door closes]

Knock knock!

Oh, hey, Claire.

Uh-oh,

another dead goldfish?

Claire?

What happened?

Come on, what's the matter?

Jesus.

[man on television] Mary, I know

what I'm going to do tomorrow

and the next day and next year

and a year after that.

I'm shaking the dust of this

crummy little town off my feet,

and I'm gonna see the world!

Italy, Greece, the Parthenon,

the Colosseum...

[Kerri] How's she gonna take

care of herself?

[Claire] I don't know.

[Kerri]

Do you have any savings?

[Claire]

Nothing.

[Kerri]

Okay, um, so she's 20.

She's never had a boyfriend.

She's never left home.

She's never had a job.

You guys just pretend

you're on a cloud...

[Claire] Okay, you're supposed to be

helping me here. ...watching movies?

[man on television]

Why don't you kiss her

How's that?

[man on television] Why don't you kiss

her instead of talking her to death?!

Want me to kiss her, huh?

[man on television] Oh, youth

is wasted on the wrong people!

[Kerri]

Does she have any skills?

[Claire] Yes.

[Kerri] All she talks about is

her dreams and her fantasies.

You've created kind of

a f***ed-up situation.

Lawn mowing.

She mowed the lawn.

[Kerri]

I think I remember that.

I think she was afraid

of the lawnmower.

I'm sorry, honey,

it's not funny.

It's not funny.

[Claire crying] I don't know

what she's gonna do.

Alright, who would

hire a 20-year-old

that still acts like

a 13-year-old?

[Claire] I wouldn't.

Claire, you pretty much...

you f***ed it.

[Claire]

You're gonna help her, right?

[Kerri]

We'll get her into college.

What she needs

is a f***ing life.

[man on television] The chance

of a lifetime, you hear?

The chance of a lifetime!

[woman on television] He says

it's the chance of a lifetime,

[man on television]

Now you listen to me,

I don't want any plastics,

and I don't want

any ground floors,

and I don't want to get

married ever to anyone!

You understand that?

I want to do what I want to do.

And you're...

"Do you love movies?

We sure do.

Gain hands-on experience

making high quality VHS movies

and having fun

at the same time.

Experimental art house

film company

seeking production assistants.

Contact producer

Clive Montgomery."

Wait, this is

in downtown Cleveland.

- How you gonna get there, hon?

- I'm gonna take the Vespa.

And, um, you've never

been on a job interview.

So what are you even

going to say?

You say "yes."

You tell them

what they want to hear.

Do you have any

experience filmmaking?

- No.

- Yes!

No.

- Yes.

- Yes.

- Mm-hmm. - "I saw your ad,

and it intrigued me."

- That's all you have to say.

- Intrigued me.

- Okay?

- Do you... have any skills?

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

"I'm a very hard worker."

"I'm highly motivated,

and I am detail-oriented."

- Yes. Yes.

- That's true.

- Okay.

- Can you start immediately?

- No.

- Yes.

- Yes.

- [stammers] Yes.

I-I mean, it's perfect.

Hon, if you practice

for a few days

and then, you can

make an appointment...

Oh, no, I-I called them.

It's today at 4:
00.

[Kerri] Oh, good, I love that you're

rocking the cape and the boots.

I think that's gonna fit in

with what all the young kids

are wearing.

You really don't

have to do this, hon.

You've never been to the city

by yourself.

- You can wait.

- It's okay, I'll be fine.

Baby, let me see you.

Let me get that.

If you need anything, I'll

be standing by the phone, okay?

- I love you.

- I love you, too.

Go get 'em, Lucy!

Bye, hon!

[Lucy squeals, crash]

[Lucy] I'm okay!

- Okay!

- Don't worry, guys! Bye!

- See ya.

- Do you have life insurance on her?

Oh, my God.

[swing music playing on record]

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