In Society

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Good evening, Mr. Van Cleve.

Welcome home from your trip.

Hello, Parker. What's going on here?

Mrs. Van Cleve is giving a costume ball.

She has a costume laid out for you...

Napoleon, I believe.

Don't tell her I've arrived.

I haven't slept in two days.

I'm tired.

I'm going upstairs to bed.

I don't want to be disturbed by all

these gibbering idiots in monkey suits.

Parker, call

a plumber immediately!

There's a leaky faucet in my

bathroom that'll drive me crazy!

I've got to get some sleep!

Yes, sir. Very good, sir.

Albert, answer the phone!

What are you trying to do,

crack the cement?

Why don't you use your head?

I did, but it hurts that way.

I'm gonna have to go back to the

old way. Answer the phone. Go ahead.

Hurry up.

Okay, okay, okay.

Hello! Hello! I can't hear

a thing you're sayin', brother.

Hello! Hello! Put that

down! There's the phone.

Hello, Ajax Plumbing Company.

We stand behind

every bathtub we sell.

Indeed we do. What?

Eddie.

What?

It's some butler on the phone.

This is gonna be a high-class job.

Oh, yes! That's right,

Ajax Plumbing!

We charge six dollars an hour.

That's too much?

Well, then why don't you try

the Atlas Plumbing Company?

They're very cheap.

Thank you. Good-bye.

Atlas Plumbing Company.

Four dollars an hour. What?

They wanted to charge you six,

the Ajax did?

They're nothin'

but a bunch of crooks.

I'm glad you're doin' business with us.

We'll be right over. Thank you.

Ow! Did I hurt you? I'm sorry.

You should be sorry. Now

listen. Put 'em up! Put 'em up!

Put those down. Stop that. I'm

sick and tired of the whole...

Never mind that. You just behave yourself, you

understand? No more monkey business from you.

Oooh, oooh.

Elsie must be around here someplace.

That's her cab. Blow the horn.

Huh? Blow the horn? Blow the

horn! I want to get Elsie.

Elsie! Elsie!

Listen to me. There's a city

ordinance against blowing horns,

and besides, people

around here want to sleep.

Stop blowing that horn.

Okay.

Go on, blow the horn.

You heard what the cop said.

I said, blow the horn, didn't I?

He said there's a lot of people sleepin'.

So what? Did you put 'em to sleep? Is

it your fault they're in bed? No. No.

Blow the horn!

You sure?

I said blow the horn,

didn't I?

Elsie.! Elsie.!

Listen! Didn't I tell you

there was a city ordinance?

Yes, sir. Just a minute,

Officer. You're a public servant.

What of it?

Get me a glass of water.

Why, you little rat! Didn't I tell

you that people are trying to sleep?

Now stop blowing that horn!

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Go on, blow the horn!

What's wrong with you?

I said, blow the horn, didn't I?

Who are you listening to, him or me?

You're a taxpayer, am I right? Yeah.

Don't you know that your taxes

help pay that man his salary?

Does he know that?

He will know it.

In other words, he's workin'

for you. Oh, that's different.

So, blow the horn.

Hmm, hmm.

Elsie.!

Elsie! Elsie!

What's the matter with you?

Get that thing off!

You little... I'll break

every bone in your body!

Take it easy. Take it easy. Take it easy.

Watch your blood pressure, kid.

I'm watchin' it.

Take it easy.

I mean, after all, you're workin'

for me. How do you like that?

You're fired.

Okay! Why, you little rat!

Listen, you little squirt! I'm the boss

around here and you're nothin', see?

Boy, you got a nice job.

You bet your sweet life I have.

Boss over nothing. Boss over

nothing! How do you like that?

Stop. Stop the noise.

Go away.

Take it easy. Take it easy. After all,

let's be nice about the whole thing.

You should pay a little respect to

the man. After all, he's got a badge.

You bet your life. It took me

20 years to earn that badge.

You're gonna show a little

respect for it. Certainly.

I'm the limb of the law.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

You're a rotten limb.

Oh!

So, I'm a rotten limb, am I?

Listen, the next crack you make,

I'll break every bone in your body!

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. And he'll do it

too. He's the type guy could do it.

You're not kiddin'!

Okay, okay. See ya later.

Why don't you keep your mouth

shut like your pal? Yeah.

Then you wouldn't get in trouble. He's

always lookin' for fights all the time.

I can see that. What's the

matter? You wanna fight?

Yes, I wanna fight.

I'll fight you.

And I'll fight you.

I'll fight you!

And I'll fight you!

I'll fight you!

And I'll fight you!

No, you won't!

We'd better call it a draw.

I don't want to fight a policeman...

around here where

all the people are lookin'.

You're wearin' a uniform.

I'll fight you over there

in that alley in 15 minutes.

I'll be there! Don't forget to

be in the alley in 15 minutes!

Don't worry. I'll be there! Don't

have any other cops around to help you!

I won't have any cops around. I don't

need 'em! I'll be there all alone!

You're darn right because

I ain't gonna be there! Oh!

Duh!

All right, all right.

Come on. Let's get Elsie.

You caused enough trouble.

Hey! Here comes Elsie now.

Elsie?

Elsie!

What's the matter?

Stop that!

That's my girl.

Albert, you've been fighting again.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, turn around here.

Look at yourself.

Why don't you try and be a little

more neat? I will from now on, Elsie.

I'll try my best.

If you give me a gold star, I'll

do my best. Now you look sweet.

Say, Elsie, we've got a big society

job up at the Van Cleve mansion.

Will you drive us up there?

Sure. Hop in.

Swell. Come on.

Come on.

Come here! Where ya going?

Get in there!

Hey, hey, hey.

This cab is taken.

Here you go. Catch.

Would you hold that?

Excuse me. Oh.

Get a load of this!

Elsie, you sit down here, honey.

We'll be back in a minute. All right.

Go ahead, honey.

You listen to the music.

Mm-hmm!

So glad you could come.

Oh, thank you.

Where is it?

Where do we go?

Oh, right in here.

Excuse me.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

A beautiful affair, Mrs. Van

Cleve. Thank you, Mrs. Winthrop.

My dance, Queen Elizabeth!

Oh, my!

I suppose there were wolves,

even in her time.

Gloria, where is Peter Evans? He's

coming as a taxi driver, Mother.

He said he'd wear a meter

and charge me to dance with him.

Only the richest bachelor in the world

could afford to be that whimsical.

You'll have to reach an understanding

with him this weekend.

That's the whole point of

our giving a weekend party, isn't it,

to throw us together again

in fond hope?

My dear, I am only suggesting a

merger of the family treasures.

And you, darling, happen

to be the Winthrop treasure.

I beg your pardon? Are you

the plumbers from Atlas?

I'm the plumber.

He's my helper, but no help.

Where's the trouble?

Walk this way.

Walk this way.

Good evening, sir.

How are you?

Wait a minute. You can't go in

there. That's a private party.

What about it?

Well, they'll throw you out.

They didn't throw you out. No, they've

been very nice about letting me sit here.

They should. You add a lot of

glamour to this little clambake.

That's a fine way

for a cabbie to talk.

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