In Stereo

1

Hey, babe!

Hey, babe.

How are ya?

Good, how'd it go?

It was fine.

Boring, you know?

Not very exciting,

but it was good.

So...

What's this thing

you texted me about?

I don't wanna tell you.

What happened?

Okay, fine, I'm gonna

admit it, I'm gonna admit it.

You're gonna admit it?

Yeah.

Okay, I came home, here home.

Here home, uh huh.

I took a shower,

and then for some

reason I threw the

towel over the lamp.

Yeah?

Hi.

Hi.

So I threw the

towel over the lamp.

I heard ya.

And then I ordered

some food and I ate

and I guess I fell

asleep watching TV.

So when I wake up...

What happens when

you wake up, babe?

The lamp and the towel on fire.

I swear to God, I mean there is

smoke everywhere, the

fire alarm is going off

in the building, the

fire department come.

Everyone's evacuated

to the street.

What the...

I mean people in

robes, women with

pimple cream on their

face, babies crying

and they're super

pissed off 'cause

it's freezing cold,

and I know that

they know that I

did it because this

super hot fireman

is talking to me

making me look all

guilty and sh*t.

Sexy fireman making

you feel guilty?

Yeah, it was awful,

I wanted to die.

I'm sorry about your

lamp, it was so pretty.

Thanks, babe.

Yup.

Let me ask you,

why are you always

at my place when

I'm not here, huh?

Your spot's where it's at,

stop f***ing with

my building, babe.

I love it here, it's all cozy

and it smells like you.

Yeah?

It does smell like me.

It does.

For sure.

Oh man...

So I was thinking...

What were you thinking?

That maybe we

should live together.

David.

David!

You were saying?

What...

Nice!

It's nice in here.

Calming, it's very...

Very calming, I like it.

I like the brick.

Much better than the other

thing at the other place.

Yeah, I'm happy with it.

Awesome, that's good.

How about them Knicks?

Unbelievable, huh?

It's crazy, right?

Have you seen any of

their games recently?

No, no, I like tennis.

I got nothing, I really don't,

and I'm thirsty, so

I'm gonna run down

and grab something to drink,

you want a Coke, anything?

David, we really

shouldn't interrupt

the session, there's

water in the cooler.

I wasn't actually

thinking of water.

Well I can have my assistant

go down and get you something...

How about that bottle

of bourbon right there

calling my name,

how about we crack

that baby boy open, huh?

Come on.

Okay, okay, right, sorry.

So where were we?

Well I had asked you...

Our hour's almost up, right,

you must have new thoughts,

insights, right?

I like it better when

you talk more than me.

So what's your call,

Sean, crazy or not crazy?

Not crazy, right?

Actually, you walked

in ten minutes ago.

I asked you a question

nine minutes ago,

and you just sat

there silent for those

nine minutes and then you made a

comment about my brick wall,

so yeah, maybe a little crazy.

Why don't you tell me

what happened to you?

I gotta take these.

So ass beatings aside, you know

what really eats

my f***ing lunch?

People making their

baggage my news,

Jen does that sh*t

when she doesn't

have strange cock in her mouth.

You said you wanna know

what's up this time,

so let me lay it out.

You going to yoga today?

Yeah, I have it at

11, what about you?

What are you doing today?

I got a shoot, just one.

All right, bagels?

I love how excited

you get over bagels.

All right.

Everything with cream cheese.

I know, babe.

Bye.

Bye.

Forgot my phone.

Sh*t, where'd I leave it?

Jen?

Have you seen my, have you

seen my phone anywhere?

No.

No?

Oh my God.

Are you serious?

What are you thinking,

what are you doing, huh?

I wasn't doing anything.

You weren't doing anything?

No?

You're going through my phone,

why would you do that?

I was just using yours to

look something up

real quick, David.

Was that all you were doing?

Yeah?

Give me a break.

Hey, hey, stay

away from my sh*t,

I don't f*** with yours!

I wasn't in your sh*t!

Jesus, you're such

a f***ing crybaby,

I can't even talk

to you anymore.

All you can do is find other

people's sh*t to go through, huh?

F*** yourself!

Good, good good, I will, one

less f***ing thing for you to

do, where's my f***ing camera?

Don't be here when I get

back, f***ing a**hole!

Don't worry, I won't be!

Who are you talking about?

She doesn't do

anything with Sophie,

she's a jackhammer, Chris.

I know, but I mean she's

been like that since

you met her, what...

She's a child, dude.

That's what she is.

She talked sh*t

about what I read

meanwhile she

carries an US Weekly

with her everywhere she goes.

I hear you, I hear you.

And she can do and say

just enough to

injure you where you

can still walk, but with a limp,

you know what I'm saying, man?

No, I know, I know.

F***ing sick of it, dude.

Sick of it, you hear me?

I don't know what's

gotten into her.

I really don't.

She's got no reason

to suspect anything

and there she is

digging through my sh*t.

I know, but I mean...

David?

Hey, you there?

David?

She'll be back,

just use the time

to lay your words

out nice and tight.

You turn into a f***ing human

speech impediment

around her sometimes.

Yeah, yes, what?!

David!

They've been trying

you at the offices,

they've been trying your phone,

I've been trying your phone.

Trisha, I'm

telling you right now

I can't deal with one of your

f***ing rants,

seriously, not right now.

Your interview, you

big baby, Flair Magazine!

God, I knew you'd forget!

You left him waiting

for over an...

I'm having a f***ing

crisis here, okay?!

A crisis of conscience,

of f***ing indignity!

Get back to the hotel at

six tonight, he'll be there.

Get this right, David.

Fine, fine, hey,

Trisha, hold on.

Have him meet me at

the bar instead, okay?

Okay, listen, mention me when

you talk about the exhibit!

Goodbye, goodbye, Trisha.

Excuse me.

It's amazing what you pick up

when you look at

things this way.

When you look at

things in stereo.

See everything,

see the whole mix.

Like the car stereo

test musicians do

after recording an album.

They hear it in a new way.

Get outside the little bubble

you've created for yourself.

You notice little thing you've

never noticed before.

Look at her in those heels.

Half the thrill of

this is the hope

of actually discovering

an infidelity.

Having something

to whore over this

infant I'm hoping will provide a

one sided satisfaction in this

deeply unsatisfying

relationship.

My uncle Carlo

was a private eye.

Told me the best way

to successfully follow

someone you know without

being discovered.

Simple.

Correctly guess

their destination,

and then get there first.

Except she's totally

unpredictable,

I f***ing love that about her.

And who knows from common sense.

You know what I'm saying?

Hey, man.

Hey.

It's cool.

She just walked in

and said she had to...

Clear her head and sh*t.

You know how she gets.

Good, man, good, okay.

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