In the Good Old Summertime Page #5

As you wish.

- Have you read Crime and Punishment?

- Are you still here?

Are you deliberately trying

to ruin my evening?

No.

Do you hear what they're playing?

You know what that song reminds me of?

Yes, 99 harps.

Wrong again.

It reminds me of a girl

who was looking for a job.

- A very nice girl, I thought.

- How you can lie.

That was before you began

to make fun of me...

giving imitations of me in the locker room.

And I'd like to tell you now

that I am not bowlegged.

- You're not?

- No.

- I have information to the contrary.

- It's a lie.

If you think I'm bowlegged,

come out to the sidewalk and I'll prove it.

- I'll pull up my trousers.

- What?

And another thing,

you may have beautiful thoughts...

but you certainly hide them.

You're cold and snippy like an old maid.

If you don't watch out,

that's what you'll be.

- I? An old maid?

- Yes.

As you go on, you get funnier and funnier.

I've got some letters I could show you,

written by a man so far superior...

that it's ridiculous.

They'd really open your eyes.

- I, an old maid?

- Yes.

- You belittling counter-jumper!

- Counter-jumper? Well!

Thank you and good night,

Elizabeth Browning.

Tell me, what was he like?

- I never saw him.

- What?

That Mr. Larkin came in

and sat at my table.

He wouldn't leave.

He just talked until it was so late that...

When I left I found this Iying outside

in the snow.

He must have seen us

through the window.

He must have seen us together

and thought...

You can write to him. You can eXplain.

I can never explain this.

He'd never understand.

Good night.

He'll never understand.

Hello.

Miss Fisher's aunt just telephoned

to say she's ill.

- She won't be in today.

- I think we'll live through it.

I don't understand you.

How can you be so mean to her?

Last night, she was waiting for you,

and you wouldn't go in to see her.

You walked away

and left her sitting there alone.

- That's enough to upset any girl.

- Don't talk to me about her.

You don't know her like I do.

The least you could do is to telephone her.

If there's any telephoning to be done,

she can call me.

I don't understand. It's so silly.

Too ill to come in.

- Is that you, Aunt Addie?

- Yes, dear.

- Was there a letter for me?

- After all, he hasn't had time.

I'll never hear from him again.

Now, Veronica, maybe he was called

out of town on business...

or maybe his mother was sick.

I wish I were dead.

There's another mail in an hour.

I'll try again.

- Maybe that's the young man now.

- No, it couldn't be.

He doesn't know my number,

he doesn't even know my name.

Hello. Who is it?

Just a moment, please.

It's Mr. Larkin from the store.

Will you speak to him?

No. I don't wanna talk to him.

Tell him anything.

I'm sorry. She isn't feeling very well.

I hope it's nothing serious. That's good.

Tell her we miss her.

What I mean is, she's a good worker.

She's a very good worker...

and what with Christmas coming on,

we can't afford to lose a good worker.

Tell her I might drop by on my lunch hour,

just to see how she is.

All right.

- Good morning.

- It's you.

- Might I come in?

- All right.

I'm sorry to come to the door like this,

but my aunt isn't home.

I hope you'll forgive the intrusion.

This is really a business call.

- Won't you come in?

- I felt that being in charge, I ought to...

- Check up on me?

- No, I didn't say that.

I just wanted to... How are you?

I'll get over it someday, I suppose.

Have you seen a doctor?

No.

I don't need a doctor, you see.

My trouble is

what you might call psychological.

- If it's only psychological...

- Only psychological!

What I mean is...

Mr. Oberkugen is giving a party

tomorrow night at the Vienna Gardens...

and if you came to that, it might help you.

Psychologically, I mean.

- A party?

- Yes.

- At a beer garden?

- Yes.

It's obvious...

that you just have

no understanding of women.

It's really an engagement party.

Nellie and Mr. Oberkugen

are gonna be married.

He's taking over the hall

for the entire evening.

It's amazing. After 20 years,

Nellie has finally decided to...

No, I'll go. I'll answer the door.

You stay right there.

Mama had to run to catch a trolley

to go to the market.

She asked if Miss Addie'd mind the baby

for her? I got to take my music lesson.

- Just in case. Bye.

- Bye.

- You've got a visitor.

- It's Jerome. Here, I'll take him.

No, you go sit down. I know how to do it.

Left hand supporting the back,

and the right supporting the body.

That's very good, yes,

but you better give him to me anyway.

Goodness gracious.

- How did you learn so much about babies?

- I've had dozens of them.

- What?

- I mean, my sister has.

There's nothing you can tell me

about babies that I don't already know.

I'm particularly eXpert

at getting that bubble up.

- By the way, whose is he?

- That's his mother in there.

- What?

- I mean, that's his mother's dummy.

My aunt makes clothes for her.

Easy to see where he gets his looks from.

Don't let him get too warm.

- I won't. I'll take this off.

- Support the back.

I will. I'm fine.

I've taken care of him for months.

- Does your sister live here?

- No, Wichita. I came from Wichita.

You must miss them.

Those bubbles, I mean.

Yes, I do. They're good kids.

- One of them was named for me.

- Which one?

- Andrew.

- I didn't mean the name, I mean the age.

He's 17 months, three weeks

and two... No, one day.

- He was born on my birthday.

- Really? When is your birthday?

- Support the back.

- He's all right.

- June 30.

- The Crab.

- What?

- I mean, astrologically speaking.

I'm interested in birth signs.

There's nothing I can do about that now.

What sign were you born under?

- December. The Goat.

- The Goat? And the Crab?

- Yes.

- No wonder we battle so much.

- You know what I wish?

- What?

Here, you take him.

Now hold his back and his head,

and be very careful.

I know. I've done this before.

- I've got it!

- How wonderful.

This is Mr. Larkin from the store.

How do you do?

This isn't a social call.

- We mustn't keep you from your lunch.

- I've got plenty of time, really.

- Let me have Jerome.

- All right.

- I'll get some tea.

- Good. Fine.

- Go ahead, read your letter.

- Do you mind?

- No, not at all.

- Thank you.

- Good news?

- Very good news.

I'll be back to work tomorrow.

And besides,

I'll even go to the party tomorrow night.

No! Isn't it amazing

what one letter can do?

At this moment, I feel so good

I could even forgive you.

Forgive me? For what?

- You spoiled my date last night.

- I did?

Yes. This young man came along,

looked through the restaurant window...

saw you sitting at my table,

and he misunderstood it.

- He thought that you and I were...

- Yes.

He says here, "Tell me truthfully,

who was that attractive young man?

"He's just the type women fall for. "

He's certainly got a sense of humor.

He sounds like

a strange sort of a fellow to me.

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