In the Navy Page #5

to break up a crap game.

You lose your uniform

in the game.

That's a lie.

It was only my pants.

Watson, I've protected you because you're the

only cook that knows how to fix cream puffs...

the way the admiral likes them. With jelly.

But this disgraceful brawl

is the last straw.

When you get out, you'll be

transferred to the Alabama.

You're gonna transfer me to the

Alabama? I don't care where you go.

A real battleship?

Going to Hawaii?

Oh, oh. I'll be able to get

my hands on that barber.

Thanks, boss.

Thanks. I'm gonna be

transferred. Oh, boy.

Now, what are you

in for?

Oh, a sailor's life is merry

as merry as can be

So, ship ahoy, a sailor's life

a sailor's life for me

Oh, a sailor's life is merry

as merry as can be

So, ship ahoy, a sailor's life

a sailor's life for me

We chip the scuppers

and paint the hull

And scrub the decks

and then

When you think you're finished

you find it's time

To do it all again

They say a sailor has got a girl

in every port he's in

Say, that's not the truth

'cause there's lots of places

I have never been

Oh, a sailor's life is merry

as merry as can be

So, ship ahoy, a sailor's life

a sailor's life for me

You work and slave

and you skimp and save

To get a full month's pay

Then you lay it down

and a guy says "craps"

And takes it all away

We greased the engine

and burned up oil

To make

some speed today

But the only time

that we passed a ship

Was going the other way

Oh, a sailor's life is merry

as merry as can be

So, ship ahoy, a sailor's life

a sailor's life for me

When they make a sailor a CPO

they take out all his brains

And inject a gallon of vinegar

and mustard in his veins

The chief is great

as a navy man

At least that's what he thinks

But I've seen him trying

to swim and confidentially

He sinks

Ha, ha, ha.

Mutiny! Mutiny!

Hey!

Why don't you leave

these two kids alone?

Why don't these two kids leave

me alone? Never mind that.

You two get ashore

before this boat sails.

Pick up your instruments.

Now, you two boys

get where you belong.

And you put some sweat

on that swab.

Come on, put some sweat on that swab

or I'll give you 40 lashes.

What about lashes?

Do you think mine would

look better with mascara?

All right.

Pick up that line.

Aye, aye, sir.

Dugan.!

You're wanted below.

Aye, aye, sir.

Brother, I'll see you

later. That's okay with me.

You got no right to make

Tommy work like this.

A whole ocean full of water

to wash the decks.

He makes Tommy wash with one

bucket. All right. Forget it.

Always in trouble.

How about you and I going

ashore tonight? No, thanks.

You haven't left this boat

in a week.

You want to turn out

to be a barnacle?

I like the ship. You like

it? What's the matter?

Are you afraid that girl photographer

is still parked out there on the pier?

Yeah. I think I'll stay

parked here on the ship.

If she wants to get on here,

she'll have to fly.

If you change your mind, let me know. Okay.

"Pintles, small straight pieces of metal secured to

the rudder and fitting in gudgeons on a stern post. "

On the stern post.

"Gudgeons, small metal pieces

in which pintles are fitted. "

Pintles are fitted.

"The bow is the front.

The stern is in the back.

Starboard is to the right. " Hello. Hello.

Starboard is to the right.

Where's the port?

In a bottle in the icebox.

Thanks.

Wait, you're not allowed on board

this ship. You gotta get off.

I've got to get a picture of Tommy

Halstead. If you'll help... Oh, no.

I'm not gonna help. I'm not getting

in any more jams. I'll scream.

How loud can you scream? Ahhh...

That's enough.

You gonna help?

I don't wanna, but...

All right! I'll help.

Thanks, you're cute.

I only wish Patty thought so.

Why do I get in these messes?

Tiptoe. Shhh.

Oooh! Come on. Hurry

up. Get in here. Quick.

Pintles, pintles are pintles.

What?

Adams is going to

try to make you...

into something

that resembles a sailor.

He'll give you the instructions

and you better come up to par.

What's par on this ship?

Seventy-six.

What?

I'm sorry, Dynamite.

The time is gonna come sometime.

The time is gonna come.

And when the time comes sometime... Well?

The time is gonna come.

Get to work.

Well?

Smokey.

Never mind that.

You heard what the chief said.

We're gonna make a sailor out of you.

Where'll I start? In the potato locker.

Never mind the potato locker.

But if the officers find...

If the officers find what?

There's a tomato in there

with the potatoes. Get it out.

Put it in with the rest

of the tomatoes.

She ain't that kind of tomato.

This one walks and talks. She?

She's in there.

See? What'd I tell you?

There she is. Pomeroy.

Don't blame him. I came

to get a picture ofTommy.

The only pictures allowed

on this ship are tattooed on men.

I told you you wasn't allowed

on this ship. You gotta get off.

She has got to get off!

You can't go that way.

The OD's on the quarterdeck.

Let's try the 50-cent seats.

This is no time to get silly.

Listen, boys.

I don't want

to be any trouble.

Just help me get the pictures and I'll

slip ashore after dark. Do you promise?

Promise.

Cross your heart?

I don't like it, but I guess you got us

hooked either way, miss. Don't be formal.

Just call me Dot. Okay, Dot. Come on.

Dash, Dot! Dash!

Come on, come on.

Not me. Not me! Her.

Go ahead. Dash! Get in.

What's going on in here?

Nothing.

Why not? What do you

think you're doing?

Well? Dash. Dot. Dot. Dash. Dash. Dot...

What is this? Signal practice. Smokey's

trying to resemble me into a sailor.

Well, stow it.

We did. I hope.

Watson, why don't you keep

these locker doors dogged down?

What about the door? You heard me. Dog it.

Dog it?

Okay.!

Smokey, get a load

of this picture.

What is this here,

that these guys are working on?

That's a hull of a ship.

You're telling me.

But what is this they're working

on? Please, don't annoy me.

I'm trying to figure out a way

to get that girl off this boat.

That's going to be awful.

I wish I wasn't here. You...

Smokey, if I didn't know better,

I'd swear we're moving.

We are moving! We're on

our way to Hawaii. Yeah.

What'd you say?

Hawaii.

We're going to Hawaii?

Where Patty is? That's right.

Oh! I'm going

to Hawaii!

With a tomato

in the potato locker.

We'll get around to it.

Okay, kid,

we'll get around to it.

Wait a minute. What are you throwing

your clothes out the porthole for?

Porthole?

Certainly.

I thought it was a little closet.

No, come on. Let's get to bed.

Not so much noise.

Quiet. Come on.

Come on.

Let's get to bed.

Shh.

Quiet. Go to bed.

Where am I gonna sleep? Up here.

I said, where do I sleep?

Up in here. That's right.

How do you get in here?

How do you sleep in here?

Six years in the navy and you

never slept in a hammock?

Six years, I was a baker.

I always slept in a sink.

You better learn to sleep in

a hammock. How do you get in?

Watch me.

Oh, that's good.

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