In the Radiant City Page #4

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Work and tide changes lines.

That's what my mom always said.

I don't know...

I don't know what

I'm supposed to do with that.

Well, sure you do.

There's no such thing

as evil, son.

You trust me.

There's just people doing

good and bad to each other.

You can find a way to

do more good than bad.

Well...

Huh?

All right.

You're going to be okay?

I think, yeah.

All right.

I'll see you.

You need a ride or something?

It's all good, darling.

Take a seat, please.

Looks like it's going to rain.

You think?

Nah, it's going to pass.

I like going out in the

yard after it rains.

Take my shoes off,

put my toes in the mud.

I don't know, it might.

You got tall.

Beard too.

You've been by home?

Yeah.

Nothing much has changed.

What was that?

I said nothing much has changed.

Hmm.

I wasn't sure if you would come.

Me neither.

Glad you did.

It's all right.

Just go ahead and...

Go ahead and take your time.

I'll get going.

The sun ain't the same,

it's brighter.

Doc says I'm sick or something.

You ain't feel sorry for you?

Is that what I said?

Did I say that?

I think about you a lot.

Wonder where you are,

what you are doing.

You think about me any?

Mom?

What do you want me to say?

You know exactly

what I want you to say.

F*** you, man.

Then what?

What is this?

I haven't seen you

in 20 f***ing years now.

I've got 30 minutes,

to try and prove that I'm...

Worth a damn?

Are you worth a damn?

F*** you.

This is bullshit.

Is that it?

I'm not gonna sit here

and try and...

I'm not gonna sit here

and try and convince you...

That I'm a good man.

But I ain't a bad one.

And I'm done with paying

for the crimes of a child.

That's your doing, man.

A boy. A boy did that.

You are that boy.

I ain't him no more.

If that's not the point of this,

then what is?

Should I rot in here?

Hmm?

Why?

What's that gonna do?

There's nothing

that can bring him back.

And I'm sorry

about that, all right?

I'm sorry.

Not that I see anything is gonna

happen to make sense of things.

There are all these pieces

in my mind.

Been running around

this way and that,

and over and over again.

Thinking that

it's gonna be different.

It doesn't change,

it's always the same.

So...

I ask myself,

how far back did my sense go?

At what point

does the bad come in?

At what point in the story could

I have done something different

to make it go good?

I would have done it anyway.

If not that night...

Some other one,

some other way.

Remember that summer we took

that trip to lake Michigan?

Laura warned us to stay

close to the shore

but me and you wanted to see

how far we could swim out.

We were way out.

Out passed the buoys,

waves and waves

up over our heads.

It felt like we swam for miles.

You finally got scared,

and said, "that's it, enough."

How do you know

that's your limit?

How do you know?

I don't know.

But I do.

Trust me, Andy, I know.

And I know I never want

to go back there again.

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