Incendiary Page #2

# You're sh*t and you know you are!

You're sh*t and you know you are! #

I wish you wouldn't take him

to the match. It makes me nervous.

What doesn't make you nervous?

Oh, nice.

You could take her up to 170, 180.

You'd have to be in a chopper

to catch someone in one of these.

I'll go down the shops

and get something nice for tea.

Choc-choc chip ice-cream to celebrate

a win. Crisps. Get some beers.

I'm on duty tonight, love.

What? How come?

I thought you had this weekend off?

You could say no sometimes, Lenny.

Bye-bye, precious.

I am precious, aren't I?

Yeah, you are. I'll see you later.

Hand! Can I take my jacket off now?

(Lenny) No, you heard your mum.

(Sirens wailing)

(Man #3) Hello, there.

That's a nice car. I bet it does, what?

- 180 miles an hour?

- Gosh, I never knew you knew cars.

Just goes to show,

you don't know anything about me.

I wouldn't say that.

(Sighs heavily)

Look... the other night was a mistake.

I never should've done that.

- So where are you going?

- Going to the match.

You're gonna be late.

Still, if you're motor does 180 miles

an hour you might just make it.

Do you want to have lunch with me?

I thought you just told me

you were going to the match

and I'm sure I just said I don't intend

to have sex with you again.

Jesus! You just say exactly

what's on your mind.

Yeah, I do. You should try it some time.

OK, OK, OK... I think

you're the funniest, sexiest,

realist East End slapper I've ever met,

and, in case you hadn't worked it out.,

I don't give up that easily.

Look, I was going to cook myself

fish fingers and watch the match on telly.

Sounds good.

- How many?

- Sorry?

Fish fingers?

I don't know. I've never eaten them

before in my life.

Four, then. With chips.

(TV commentary on in background)

(She sighs heavily)

What?

What do you mean, "what"?

What do you want from me?

There you go, getting straight

to the point again, clearing the air.

If you need a new girlfriend, I'm not her.

I've got a family and I love 'em.

I like you.

You bypass the endless bullshit.

Different from all the people I know.

About a hundred grand a year different,

I should've thought.

You make me feel like I'm missing out on

the simple things in life... like fish fingers.

You bother me.

Does this bother you?

What about this?

Does this bother you?

No. No, not really.

This?

Now I don't know what to say. And this

isn't what I had in my mind at all.

Don't take this the wrong way,

but if we wait around till we knew

what you had in mind,

we'd be here all day, and my husband

and boy would be home,

and my husband would kick your teeth in.

Fair enough.

I always try to be fair.

(TV commentator) 'And there's

the whistle to get us underway.

'Looking around this

magnificent stadium,

'you can really sense

the feeling of excitement now.

'We've been looking forward

to this game for a long time...'

(Crowds cheering)

(Explosion on TV)

'What on earth...? I'm not sure

if you can still hear me...

'Something quite catastrophic

has happened here...'

(Signal breaks)

(Explosion)

(TV beeps)

(Explosion)

(Windows rattle)

(Car alarms wail)

'Some breaking news for you. Reports

of a major incident in North London.

'Possibly an explosion at

a Premier League football stadium.'

F***! I've gotta get to the paper.

'Information is sketchy

but reports suggest...

- Take me there in your car.

- What?

- I need to get them home for their tea.

- Oh, God, I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry.

Please, please don't let them be hurt.

Please, God, don't let them be hurt.

We won't even get down there.

The roads'll all be blocked.

I don't care! Just get me there!

(Sirens wailing)

Stop there, sir! Back it up!

(Helicopter overhead)

(Shouting)

I can't believe my eyes, mate.

It's mayhem.

(Man) Keep people away from the area!

(Shouting and screaming)

- Oi!

- My boy's in there. He's four.

It's not safe.

Move back behind the barriers.

(Explosion)

(Shouting)

Excuse me.

Have you seen a little boy? He's four.

Excuse me. Did you see a little boy?

Lenny!

- Baby, where are you? Excuse...

- You're going the wrong way, love.

- Let's get you out of here.

- No!

(Helicopters overhead)

(Indistinct radio conversation)

(Shouting)

(Sobbing)

Aargh!

Come on. Come on!

(Boy) Daddy! Daddy!

Please... Please, God!

Please, God! Please...

(Screaming)

(Boy) Daddy! Daddy!

(Groans)

(Creaking)

(Pulsating beep)

(TV) 'The death toll as a result of

the May Day bombing has risen to 920.

'But police estimate there will be more.

'Forensic experts believe

that six suicide bombers

'were responsible for the attack.

'Three in the grounds

'and three in service vehicles

'parked near the stadium perimeter.'

(Bell tolling)

(Beeping)

(Boy) 'Mummy! I'm running.

I'm running really fast! '

(Waves crashing)

(Laughing)

(Bell tolling)

'The investigation is making progress.

'But I would still urge communities

'to give us the names we need.

'Not because of race or religion,

'but because at base we are all humans

'and we understand human cost.

'And make no mistake, we have already

collected 2,500 CCTV tapes.'

(Mixed voices on TV and radio)

'This has angered community leaders,

'anxious that young Muslim men will

become the main target of searches.'

(TV) 'It's an echo of the London

skyline from another time.

'During the blitz of World War II,

'when barrage balloons

floated over London

'to protect the nation

from enemy aircraft.'

'We can now bring you live pictures

'of an extraordinary ceremony

'taking place in London.

'1,000 balloons launched

over the capital in memory

'of the victims

of the May Day terror attacks.

'Many of the victims' relatives are

there to see the balloons' release.

'So, too, is the Prime Minister.

'Each one carries an image

of one of those who died.

'They're calling it

the cemetery in the sky.

(Wind howling)

Hello.

Oh, God.

- No, don't touch!

- Oh, sorry. I'm sorry, OK. OK...

(Gasping)

I... I didn't know if I should come.

Is someone looking after you?

Someone from your family?

Your mum, your sister or something?

Probably think it's peculiar, don't you?

Bet you thought, "She's an East End girl,

bound to have a gran and a mum

all rallying around saying, "You'll get

over it. How about a nice cup of rosie?"

A bit unfair.

It's unfair my boy's got

a slapper for his mum.

(Bells toll in the distance)

Why wasn't it you who died?

I came because I...

I wanted to give you something.

(Gasps)

(Groans)

Oh...

You have been in the wars, haven't you?

Oh, you lost your paw.

I'll fix that for you.

It's just a needle and thread.

You're a brave bunny.

- Let me walk you up.

- No.

- Will you be all right?

- Fine, thank you.

You're usually chasing bimbos

round red carpets up the West End.

- You want footage of May Day?

- For f***'s sake! Can you do it or not?

No, Jasper. I'm a sports reporter,

not Carl f***ing Bernstein.

But because it means so much to you,

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