Infamous Page #3

...so I thought before I'd go to the market

and get a nice cheese...

...some ham and olives.

Slim sent a wonderful Burgundy.

Nelle and I can make a picnic at the hotel.

VELvEETA

Excuse me?

- Could this be all the cheese?

- Well, how much do you need?

Mine is a matter of quality, dear,

not quantity.

Oh, you mean other types of cheese.

Goodness, no. Not here.

- Are you staying for Christmas?

- Yes, we are.

What will you and Mrs. Capote do

for your Christmas supper?

If this is the only cheese I find,

Mrs. Capote and I might try cyanide.

Would you like to come to our house

for Christmas supper?

Really? Like for a party?

It's just not right you don't have

Christmas supper in a home.

That is so kind of you.

Nelle will be thrilled.

May I ask your name?

Hi.

Hi.

What?

We are spending Christmas

with the Deweys.

This just isn't right.

What isn't right is for two people

to spend Christmas alone.

If there's two of them, they won't be alone.

Hi. We're here.

- Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas.

I know you said not to bring anything...

...but my daddy would kill me if I showed up

for company empty-handed.

We brought you fruitcake.

And she doesn't mean me.

My wife, Delores.

- Truman.

- Foxy.

- Thank you.

- My wife, Delores.

And here is our son, Paul.

Hello, Paul. Merry Christmas.

You gonna watch the game?

I got $25 on it.

Truman, you like football?

Not much.

Though I must admit it always sends shivers

up my spine...

...when the men get inside

that little huddle and whisper.

We have treats.

I have kind of a party question.

I hope it's not too awful or mean.

That sounds fun. Let's play.

Paul Dewey. Don't you wanna come in here

and sit with the grownups?

Since it's Christmas...

...I thought we could all take turns telling

what is the worst present you ever got.

Mine was a shawl from an elderly

neighbor lady. I'm not a shawl lover.

- Me neither.

- They're never warm enough.

Are my ears working properly?

Am I the only one here who loves shawls?

Don't look at me.

My goodness, I love shawls.

I have several.

I think the prettiest one is the one

Jennifer Jones gave me.

Jennifer Jones? The movie star?

Yes. We were in Rome making

a picture called Beat the Devil...

...and I was struggling

to write a scene for Bogie...

...when I began to feel

the most inhuman pain.

Bogie? You mean Humphrey Bogart?

I mean Mr. Lauren Bacall, yes.

I was trying to write a scene for him

and Peter in which they both...

Wait a minute. Who's Peter?

Peter Lorre.

But I had a terrible impacted tooth,

and so John...

- Wayne?

- Garfield?

Kennedy?

Huston?

John Huston, the director?

John told me he didn't care if we had

to shut the movie down...

...I was going to the hospital.

So I thought:

"Well, if I have to be in a Roman hospital

for God knows what length of time...

...I may as well have something with me

to make me feel good."

So I wore the beautiful Balmain shawl

that Jennifer gave me...

...and, if I do say so myself...

...I felt and looked dreamy.

- Did you meet Humphrey Bogart?

- Meet?

My dear, every night

we had drinks and dinner...

...and, once, poker!

You played poker with Humphrey Bogart?

I had a disadvantage in that...

...I didn't know the game

in the way that Bogie or Frank did.

Frank?!

Sinatra.

Experience had taught them things...

...a relative novice such as myself

may not know, like, well...

...did you know that three of a kind

beats a pair?

So, I did not defeat Mr. Humphrey Bogart

at cards...

...but you may be interested to know

I soundly beat him at something else.

Arm wrestling.

Hold on now.

You expect us to believe...

...that you beat Humphrey Bogart

at arm wrestling?

Twice.

You're good.

Good match, sir. Thank you.

Hey. I just beat the guy who could beat

Humphrey Bogart.

Cool. You wanna come over

and see what I got?

You didn't beat Humphrey Bogart,

did you?

You don't think I'd defeat your child

on a Christmas afternoon...

...with everyone here thinking

what they do about me?

That would be a gift of switches

and ash.

But you didn't beat Humphrey Bogart,

did you?

All right. Roll up your sleeve.

No, no, no.

Scared?

Well, I'll be.

Listen, Foxy.

When you're tiny you have to be tough.

This world isn't kind to little things.

So glad you could make it.

- Hope you'll come back. Thank you.

- Thank you. Merry Christmas.

- Merry Christmas. Good night.

- Come on.

Bye-bye.

Foxy, check under the tree.

Hello?

No, they just left.

Well, I know it, but the time flew.

Guess what?

He knows Ava Gardner.

And Humphrey Bogart.

And Betty Bacall. That's Lauren Bacall.

And she got right into the kitchen

and helped. They are so sweet.

Anything good?

Merry Christmas from the queen mother.

She loves me.

Babe.

Slim.

Who's this?

"Mrs. John Stimmell called to invite you

and your friend to dinner."

Who's that?

It says she's a friend of the Deweys.

How nice.

Look, here's another.

"Please call Mrs. Dorn about dinner.

Friend of the Deweys."

Well, that sounds lovely.

Nelle.

These are all invitations!

Then Ava said:

"I'm not afraid of the police.

It's Frank who scares me!"

And Marilyn said,

"Better sorry than safe!"

Marilyn Monroe.

Bonnie Clutter is such a dear and l...

Was such a dear.

Oh, goodness.

It's hard to put a friend in the past tense.

It seems so sad, especially since Bonnie

wasn't well at that time.

What was the matter?

Oh, well, I shouldn't say.

I just don't think she liked

to be with folks so much.

But if you ever did see her,

if you ever did...

...oh, she was always good old Bonnie.

She was going through

the change of life.

That's all?

You try it. It's enough.

Well, there were four of us went

to the house to clean up...

...clean up...

...all the damage and the mess.

We used to go out to Herb's

to hunt pheasant.

It was strange driving out there

knowing what was waiting for us.

The couch where the boy had been.

It was just,

I mean the bodies were gone, but...

...good Lord, just seeing that couch.

Or the mattress box

where Herb had been.

There was so much blood.

There was so much blood.

Sometimes in big, wide pools.

Sometimes in little spatters.

I was going up the stairs...

...and then I saw a big spot

on the banister...

...and I almost...

I swear...

...well, that was worse than the big stuff

on the floor. Because I thought:

"It made it all the way up here?"

I can only say I was a Marine...

...and nothing ever got to me

the way this did.

Herb was one of the most

respected ranchers in this state.

If there was a list that told you how

to succeed with honor...

...well, he just did everything on it.

You see, he worked hard,

he took care of his family...

...and when he went to church,

he just didn't get his time card punched.

No, he went in and he listened.

And I've always believed

that whenever you do something right...

...it gives you a little bit of weight...

...so that you come to feel rooted

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