Ingrid Bergman in Her Own Words Page #6

to arrive alone and say, "Here I am.

And you can throw your stones,

or you can accept me again."

I was very, very nervous

because I knew I was going to meet the

American audiences, the American press.

Now to New York,

where Ingrid Bergman is seen

paying her first visit

to the United States since 1949.

During her stay, she was presented with

the New York Film Critics Award

for the best film actress of 1956.

Do you approach this trip with any fear

or trepidation

as for your reception here in New York?

No, I didn't. I looked at it as pure fun.

I thought it would be wonderful,

because all my life I've done things,

things on a moment's notice like that,

and that's what makes it

interesting and exiting.

Looking back on it,

do you have any regrets

about anything that you've done

the last few years, Ms. Bergman?

No, I have no regrets at all.

I regret the things I didn't do,

not what I did.

I have done what I felt like.

I have never...

I was given courage,

and I was given a sense of adventure.

And that has carried me along.

And what else but a sense of humor

and a little bit of common sense.

It's been a very rich life.

She had no regrets.

I don't think she ever did it, saying,

"I don't care about them."

She cared about Hollywood. She loved

her friends. She loved her daughter.

She even respected her other husband.

But there was a sense of adventure,

and life was there to be lived in full.

And I don't think she could stop herself.

I was under my father's custody

until I was 18.

And my father took me to Europe

to see my mother.

Uh, she did not come

to the United States to see me.

But he took me to see her in London.

We met in sort of neutral territory,

not in Italy.

When I was 18, I went to visit my mother

for the first time and stayed with her.

Irene, darling,

Pia has come to Paris,

at last, after five years.

Pia's plane was surrounded

by journalists and paparazzi.

But we had a moment to ourselves

in the plane.

We were so happy to be together again.

She's 18 and visiting Rome

for the first time.

Since she was ten, she hasn't seen her

mother for more than two weeks running.

The three Rossellini children

are in Santa Marinella.

Roberto Rossellini is filming in India.

The tabloids there are very busy with him.

Ingrid looks very happy.

She's a good mother, a loving wife,

devoted to her family.

The youngsters

dance on the terrace.

I pretend I'm old and lie down.

Not because I feel old,

but it's part of the game.

Anyway, I'm so happy.

I prefer to be alone.

It's turned out better than we hoped for.

Pia likes it here.

She's so open. She likes everything.

She's kind to the younger ones.

The first day, she said she wouldn't

come back next summer.

But the second day, she said, "Why stay

in America when it's so wonderful here?"

We try to make each day like a party.

I can't tell you how happy I am.

The proceedings between

Ingrid Bergman and Roberto Rossellini...

Dear Ruth, I experienced

such happiness with Roberto,

but such misery too.

I tried so hard to live with him.

But I know my life has changed.

He has left me.

He's going to have a baby

with a woman in India.

I feel strangely relieved.

Imagine a child going through

his parents' divorce

but amplified by dozens of photographers.

It was difficult, very hard.

I have photos of us children

taken by the paparazzi, besieging the car,

and we're clearly terrified.

Lars is such

a fantastic man, Ruthie.

I'm so happy.

This time

I think I've found the right one.

Third time lucky.

Isn't it funny that he's Swedish?

We're so alike.

I feel full of hope.

I think my youngest children

will accept him.

Pia will be more upset and surprised.

Why didn't you want

to live with any of us?

She didn't live with her children

with Roberto Rossellini.

She left them in Italy and moved to France

to live with a theater producer.

She'd rather live with a producer

than her children.

Uh, I guess we weren't that much fun.

What can I say?

So I'm sorry.

Children don't like to hear that.

But, you know, the reality is

Oh, here comes my dog.

Uh... No, the reality is that sometimes

children are not that interesting.

Not to all parents anyway.

I change everything in my life.

It takes time to adapt to change.

I've been very busy this winter,

moving and adapting

to my new home and my new life.

Will you be staying at home?

No. I'm at home now

because it's a lot of fun.

I think that next winter,

I'll be in a film or on stage.

I don't have any projects.

We had the villa at Santa Marinella,

which was like paradise for us.

I was practically born there.

I grew up in that house.

When our parents split up,

Papa couldn't keep the villa,

so it was sold.

For us, it was horrible.

We felt like Adam and Eve

chased from paradise.

Leaving Santa Marinella

was as brutal as that.

Then a miracle. They do exist.

Mama met Lars,

who had an island in Sweden.

That island was marvelous.

We were so happy there.

I absolutely loved it there,

and my mother loved it too.

Sometimes we need

a bit of stability in life.

Everything changes in life

we grow old, divorce, change jobs.

And we need a place where we can say,

"This is something

that will never change."

Dannholmen.

Lars's island. So secluded.

In summer, everything's so clear,

it glitters.

The sea, the rocks, the sky.

When I first came here,

we sat in front of the house, and I said,

"I love your island."

Lars replied,

"Good. Let's get married then."

At a certain point in our life,

we didn't live with either of our parents.

Nor my mother, nor my father,

because they remarried

and set up other houses.

So they created a children's home,

which was to me a lot of fun

because the living room was transformed

into an enormous playroom.

We had, instead of a sofa, Ping-Pong

and things to punch, and things to

you know, bars, so we could dance.

I liked to dance.

Um, but some of my brothers and sister

would have rather lived in a more

traditional home, with a living room

Don't touch that. Don't make it.

Don't mess it up.

But have Mama and Father every day.

We didn't have Mama and Father

every day starting at age six.

Mama lived in Paris. We lived in Rome.

She came when she could.

We saw Dad for Sunday lunch,

even if he wasn't always exactly present.

- No, he wasn't...

- But he called...

True.

His phone calls went like this

"Hi, are you okay?"

"Good. Pass Isa."

"Hi, are you okay? Good."

His phone calls were like that.

Several times a day.

Mama came whenever she could.

We went to Paris for holidays.

Sometimes she came.

I missed her a lot.

I was very attached to my mother.

I adored her.

I used to cry when she left,

and I wouldn't eat for several days.

When I became a mother,

I realized that children

physically need their mother there.

Absence is too hard.

My favorite moments were like a reward

from time to time,

all three of us slept with her.

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