Insignificance Page #2

in the review of the same speech.

And you know what that speech was? To the

Mozart Appreciation Society of New England.

And...

it's unbelievable.

I'll tell you, on or off the record...

You people like things on the record.

I didn't choose America. I don't care.

Had I but known it.

I was escaping Dachau.

Funny, how you talk

to a good Jew nowadays...

that subject always comes up... Dachau.

That's the same threat to democracy

we're asking you to help us fight now.

World War II had... had very little

to do with Communism.

Had very little to do... Are you kidding?

The whole war was based on a Soviet plot.

- A Soviet plot?

- Yes.

Fifteen million Russians dead...

a Soviet plot?

They're tricky.

Ask yourself this, Professor.

What is left of Europe

that is a threat to the Soviets?

Round one is theirs.

So, what do you say?

I say that you oughta go see a psychiatrist.

No, no, never mind that. They haven't learned

how to treat that degree of lunacy yet.

What I say is, uh... I say good night.

I say we should say good night now.

Oh. It would be a shame, really...

if all you stood for...

was to get muddied up over some haggling

over constitutional legalities.

Don't make the mistake

of treating this like some, uh...

freshman debate on civil liberties.

Some guys have tried that.

One guy tried it.

He did great for that day.

In fact, he got applauded

by the f***ing stenographer.

Well, he ain't earned jack sh*t since!

And neither has the stenographer!

Now, how about a little cooperation here?

I will explain it very clearly and simply.

I will never, ever,

under any condition, testify.

You have been subpoenaed to testify.

We paid for your flight and the room.

Nonetheless, tomorrow I'm going to speak

to the conference for world peace.

It's true that your subpoena

coincides with that date...

but it won't prevent me

from speaking at the conference.

And, Senator...

if I had intended to go fishing tomorrow...

your subpoena wouldn't prevent me

from catching fish...

or at least trying to catch fish.

Trying to catch fish.

Well, you ignore a House subpoena,

my friend...

and, uh, that'll be about the last thing

in the world you do.

And, oh, by the way,

yes, from what I understand...

you've refused to let anyone

make copies of your work.

Now, why is that?

I mean, you know, if something

were to happen... God forbid...

that would all go astray.

Professor, see you tomorrow morning,

bright and early.

I'm afraid you're gonna have to let the, uh,

peace conference slug it out for themselves.

You know, there's nothing

to worry about anyway.

There ain't anybody

gonna go pressing any buttons.

We've all got too much invested.

Just think of the real estate.

Good night.

Hey, mister. How much are your balloons?

- Three for a buck, lady.

- Ooh! I'll take three.

- Hey, miss.

- Yeah?

We got a special on the candy.

It's free to all the pretty girls today.

- Oh, wow. Thanks.

- Yeah.

Furillo, National League batting champion...

comes through with another hit,

a single through the middle.

Campanella scores.

The ball is picked up by catcher Berra.

Meyer's at third.

Hodges slides. He's called out!

Kress is through

with a booming double with two men on.

May I ask, ma'am, what sort of movie

this is you're making?

Who... Who is it you're playing, ma'am?

I play this girl.

She's a what, not a who.

She's just a figment

of this guy's imagination.

He imagines me hanging around

the place, you know?

I spend the entire movie

in the kitchen or in the bathtub...

or having my skirt blown up...

around my f***ing ears.

Hey, sweetheart. Get your ass over here.

I've been out there since before midnight.

Eighteen, fast.

Hey, look what she's got!

- I think it's a watch!

- Let me see it.

- There, hold it. Hold her hand.

- No!

I got it!

Let me see! Come on.

You're a chicken.

- Yeah. Why don't you try coming up?

- Yeah! Yeah!

Na, na-na, na-na!

You can't get it!

Have you got a watch?

Yeah, I got a watch. It's almost 2:30...

No. Don't tell me the time.

I don't wanna know.

Can I just borrow it?

Please?

You can have it back tomorrow.

Thanks.

Hey! Stop there! Right over there!

Over there!

Who is it?

You wouldn't believe me.

- Hi!

- Hello.

Are you busy?

It's only I'm...

I'm probably being pursued.

This is an awful liberty, I know, but...

I'm very honored to meet you.

Uh, who is it that's pursuing you?

Just about everybody.

Hey. I thought you'd be asleep.

It's almost 3:
00.

- Would you like me to go?

- Uh, no, no.

Please, please, please.

I just had to come meet you

before you fly home or I fly west.

And I just haven't had a moment.

I've been shooting all week.

My movie, that is.

You don't recognize me.

Do you?

No.

That's just wonderful.

- I interrupted your work?

- No, it's just some calculations.

What are you trying to calculate?

Actually, I'm attempting

to unify the fields.

Will it take long?

Ah. I hope within another four years.

Oh. Gee.

- You are an actress?

- Mm-hmm.

- What's your name?

- Oh.

Oh. I've heard of her.

Is she good?

She tries hard.

Why is she here?

For a visit.

- Why?

- You're famous!

So are you.

I know.

We have an awful lot in common.

Hello.

What?

Who else?

No. Who else?

How much?

All right.

Because of being famous,

everywhere I go...

people fall all over themselves

to be with me.

Like a troupe of clowns

chasing an old automobile.

Ah. Because of being famous...

many things I do

just turn into a ridiculous comedy.

You're lucky.

Everything I do

develops into a nightmare.

People keep throwing themselves

in front of me...

and I just don't dare stop.

- Have I disturbed you?

- No. No.

- Shall I go?

- No. No.

It's late.

I just spent the last four hours

of my life...

having my skirt

blown up around my ears.

They rigged up this fan

beneath the grating out on 53rd.

Whoosh. All night long.

Do you ever get the feeling

it might be later than you think?

Anyway, I just knew

my only chance to see you...

before you fly away

or I died of intimate exposure...

would be to wake you up

in the middle of the night.

So I said to myself, "Go ahead,"

because if he doesn't understand...

how you have to wake people up

in the middle of the night sometimes...

then nobody will.

So I thought, "what the hell?"

Have you ever noticed that "what the hell"

is always the right decision to make?

What did you do tonight?

I arrived, and, uh...

I washed, and, uh, I got to work...

actually attempting to derive the tangential

vector qualities of alpha C-squared...

but while I was keeping "T" at infinity.

You had a bad night too, huh?

I suppose so.

I could have been watching a pretty girl

having her skirt blown up above her ears.

Would you have watched?

Would you have liked me to?

Yes.

It would have embarrassed me.

The others, they didn't embarrass me.

I don't think a girl should go through

something like that without feeling embarrassed.

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