Into the Cold: A Journey of the Soul Page #7

we lost a mile last night,..

...and by the time we wake up,

we will have lost another mile--

The drift is taking us backwards,

which is not unusual.

We will re-strategize.

But for now we are dead tired

and will seek sleep for counsel.

Now to pull the frosty sleeping bag

out of its compressor bag.

l'm actually shivering right now;

l'm not fully cocooned.

All right, good night.

l cannot help but think of Peary,

Henson and the four lnuit on...

...their team, and how after reaching

the pole on April 6th 1909,..

...they then had to face

the un-assisted return to land,..

...for many more months

of journeying.

There were no satellite phones,

no blogs, no power bars,..

...no technology developed fabrics,

no nylon tents.

Just six brave men

facing the unknown...

...with no safety net,

and no back up.

The race for the pole is still on,

we hope for good luck...

...in the terrain again so

we can maintain our speed.

We have been told categorically

that our flight off the ice...

...will be no later than the 26th

in the AM, as Barneo closes.

Barneo used to close later in May,

but the rising temperatures have...

...made this too precarious for

this floating station servicing...

...expeditions and scientific

research on the ice for four weeks.

Yesterday l said that

the ice on a lead generally...

...doesn"t break at once.

Well, sometimes it does.

And today it did.

So we were investigating something

that looked potentially passable.

l took a chance on it because

l was trying to make time.

The only way to find out is

if you take the initiative to...

...walk out there and see if it's

going to hold your weight.

We were trying to make time

and had a good start until...

...a small east/west lead

blocked our way.

A narrow section looked

questionable but doable,..

...as it was only about

10 feet wide.

l unhooked from the sledge, stepped

carefully on the flexing ice,..

...took a large step forward, and

all at once... the dreaded.

The ice gave in from under me

and l slowly but inescapably...

...sunk to my neck

in Arctic water.

He was fortunate that

he had loosened his skiis.

l kicked them off and they had

floated up to the surface.

lt took about two paddle strokes

to get to the edge where l was.

l got to pull myself up

with Keith's assistance.

Keith quickly threw me a line

and pulled me out which left me...

...dripping in -25 degrees Celcius.

lt goes without saying that...

...getting down to your skivvies

under these conditions isn"t...

...anyone"s idea

of a good time!

And l rolled into the snow,

at least the ice,..

...to absorb some of the

moisture as possible.

The powder snow is so dry that...

...when it hits the water,

it acts like a sponge.

You know, it was unpleasant but

it was a quick moment in time.

There's no other better remedy

for hypothermia than activity.

There are funner things to do,

to be sure, in the Arctic...

...than to change and get naked in

those frigid temperatures.

One of the great lessons of this

environment is that...

...there are no time-outs,

no quitting and no savior.

The mess you"re in

is yours to clean,..

...and this responsibility

works anywhere.

With nothing but open space in front

of me, l motored and skied hard.

My legs got sucked into the rhythm,

and never complained.

Nor did Keith, though l knew

his hip bothered him.

But the day was set to put a mark

on our vanishing legacy.

Each hour that passed was punctuated

by the pleasing speed that would...

...define our last travel day, and

the looming and steady creep...

...of a countdown that brought

a mix of relief and sadness.

The last few days have been the

toughest, but today, in spite of...

...the wind"s chill, we are

eating miles and feel unstoppable.

As if to teach us one more time

the meaning of the word respect,..

...the pack ice threw a field of

junky, powdery blocks at us,..

...and the clouds

overtook the sun...

...to flatten out detail

in the terrain one more time.

l was anxious, pushing forward,..

...intent in reaching

our farthest north.

Then it all cleared:

the sky, the wind, the rubble.

And the end came abruptly,

systematic and unapologetic.

Ahead of us and within reach,

on a flat pan framed by...

...pressure ridges, stood

my childhood dream.

The point that makes

explorers through the ages...

...squint with wonder

does not surrender easily.

But l was determined,

GPS in hand,..

...to see those numbers line up

and honor Peary and his men...

...from where they stood

a hundred years ago.

Zeros! This is it! Right here!

This is the North Pole, right here.

From this point forth,

no matter where you go,..

...no matter what direction

l go, l'm going south.

And here's the other thing; if l do

this, in doing this right now...

...l've walked through every

single time zone on the planet!

This is it, the North Pole, right

here. The top of the world.

We made it, it's pretty exciting.

And in seconds, just like that,

it was gone.

That point from which any step

heads south, the top of the world,..

...where all longitudinal lines

blend and all time zones meet,..

...where the world rotates below

your feet, that point was mine...

...for one brief, ethereal

instant. And then no more.

Beneath the frosty facemask

and under my icy ruffed hood,..

...the breath l took filled my heart

with the essence of purpose,..

...and a mission accomplished.

For a while l stared in silence

at the field in front of me,..

...taking in the open,

unrestricted ice kingdom;..

...committing to memory its vastness

and the contours of the mounds...

...and ridges framing it; noting the

way that the sun defined the terrain.

Feeling the wind biting my left side.

l heard my heart pounding, fresh

from the effort, tugging at me...

...with undecided trepidation,..

...not sure whether to weep

in relief or beg for more.

Any moment now, this solemn and

suspended reality would be broken...

...by the distant flapping

of the helicopter"s rotors.

And the dream would end.

As Keith and l stood there in

the silence that had come to...

...characterize our solitary travel,

l knew that this image would...

...define my experience

up here. And l relished it.

The North Pole is so ephemeral;..

...so fleeting that it can

feel like an illusion.

While the Pole itself is a

static geographical point...

...at the bottom of the ocean,

up here, on the sea ice...

...constantly drifting, nothing is.

ln fact sometimes,..

...as happened to me then,

the dream feels more real.

And as the ice shifts, unmoved

by the human desire to pierce...

...its crust with a marquee post,

what is left is the image that...

...we chose to retain. And to me,

it will be that open field...

...staring me in the eye, as if

to say:
"l"m leaving too. Soon. "

ln the distance, the wind carried

the unmistakable flapping of...

...the Ml8"s rotors.

lnvisible at first, the heavy craft

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