Irma Vep

1

I have to close the deal now.

Over and above 5,700,000,

you get 25% of the gross

until you recoup what you're owed.

No way! Then the film is amortised

including an overhead of seven per cent,

plus the 300,000

for the line producer.

Yeah, he's paid, too.

What is it?

Can't you see I'm busy?

Yeah. It's an art film, yeah.

It's cultural, along the lines of...

You'll have all the guarantees you need.

No, there's no need to worry.

He's a good director.

You've heard of him.

I don't know.

I don't know who said so.

I'm not authorised

to negotiate the rent.

Don't worry.

There's no problem.

No problem.

They'll call you, stop by...

I'll ask a few questions.

Let's try to keep this short.

So, first name and last name.

- Height?

- Six feet.

- What have you done recently?

- I was in a show.

Theatre?

- I have the three guns.

- First door on the right.

OK, you were in a play?

- Is Ren in?

- No, he's out.

- Where's Mat?

- Scouting the sewers.

- Good morning.

- There. Hold on two seconds.

Mait said to bring her here

from the airport.

Have her wait in Mat's office.

Here. Goodbye.

She just got off a 12-hour flight!

I don't know. It's up to you.

- Why are you here?

- Mat said...

- Said what?

- To bring her here.

Mat's out for the day!

- Ren has to see her.

- He's out, too.

- Maybe he's coming.

- He said he wasn't.

You're all so f***ing incompetent!

I'm up to my arse in work.

Get your sh*t together.

Can't you get organised?

Niama Films, good morning.

Oh, you're the guy

from the warehouse.

I know something was decided,

but I can't say what.

I'm not authorised to...

Listen, Frederick.

Call the first assistant.

- Are you with Mat?

- No.

- Is that her?

- Yeah, that's Maggie.

Where's Ren?

No one's here for her.

It looks bad.

- What's that?

- She said she was fighting frogmen.

- You're not at Ren's yet?

- At Ren's?

- He's been waiting for an hour.

- No one told me.

I left a message on your beeper.

You didn't pick it up?

- What about our talk?

- I haven't forgotten you.

Kevin, drop her stuff at the hotel.

- I'll be right back, OK?

- OK.

Is it good?

Well...

It bunches up here.

Everywhere.

- Yeah.

- It's the right size though.

So what do we do?

We can take in the sleeves

even more.

There's not much else to do.

It's crazy. We've already cut it

and it still bunches up.

We'll do it again.

- Don't get upset.

- I'm not upset.

I need the line to be sleek.

When she walks,

it keeps bunching up.

Uh, it's not shiny enough.

There's a spray for that.

It has to be incredibly feminine.

That's the thing.

- Ah!

- There!

Can I see the masks and hoods again?

I want latex from head to toe.

This is a double-layered mask.

There are two zippers.

When you unzip the one in front...

You can see the face

with holes for the mouth and eyes.

- Yes, but I...

- Not bad, huh?

There was a simpler one.

The one I showed you last time.

This one.

With the zipper,

the mouth, the eyes...

What if it doesn't work?

Does it hug the face tight?

You can tuck it into the collar

of the catsuit.

- You want to try?

- Why not? Will you hold this?

Freaky.

How does it feel?

Not bad.

Not bad.

Excuse me. Can I borrow your salt?

Thank you.

- It works real well.

- Oh, yeah, yeah.

- Do you have a second?

- No.

Come on! We're waiting!

I can take my time like everyone else!

- Not now! Let's go!

- F*** off!

We're coming down the corridor.

I Read you loud and clear.

Why did you tell her that?

She's under hypnosis in the scene.

I thought it was important.

It's best to insist.

I'm not sure

she understands everything I say.

Do you think she does?

Can't you smoke outside?

This is the third time! Are you deaf?

Go smoke outside!

We're shooting!

You find it funny? No, no.

You find this funny? Twenty-five takes

and you're still laughing?

It doesn't work.

Help me, Zo.

Can't you put on a hood by yourself?

What's wrong with the bonnet?

Show me.

We tried tons of times.

The thing is,

you have to stretch it out first.

Yeah, give it a try.

If you stretch it and pull it down fast,

then it works.

It worked before.

- But it's backwards.

- Not at all. I did it once and I got it right!

Everyone, into position!

Ever think about changing jobs?

- That take was no good for me.

- It was no good for anyone.

Come here.

The candelabra...

Down here...

It wasn't too great.

Make the sign up here. Ah?

And put on the hood like I did... Simply.

He's laughing.

It's no laughing matter.

Is it OK now?

Yeah, I'm done.

Concentrate.

Get back in the box.

And let's forget

this wax museum stuff.

How's it going?

Are we on schedule?

- We're way behind.

- What?

- Will we wrap on time?

- I have no idea.

- Where's the stunt woman?

- She's in wardrobe.

- What? Go get her!

- OK.

- You promised me extra help.

- I know.

- I did all the packing up!

- We'll talk later!

Not now! It's too late!

Stop barking orders at me!

We have to work

in an orderly way!

- You're just a tidiness freak!

- I certainly am!

You keep things so tidy

that your films suck!

- It's the truth!

- You're part of the team.

- Not for much longer!

- Then pack your bags!

Why should I be bossed around

by watchdogs like you?

Me, a watchdog?

You can breathe down

someone else's neck!

Don't say things now

that you'll regret later.

I Just want to do my job

and fix up Laure's costume.

- You had time to do it before!

- Hands off, hands off.

It'll be fine.

Let her fix up Laure's costume.

- I'll Murder that b*tch.

- Keep it under control.

Listen to me!

She's always the same!

Say something. We worked.

We're entitled to your opinion.

I couldn't even hear you breathe!

- Enough's enough!

- F*** you!

You want my opinion?

It sucks. It's sh*t.

It sucks!

F*** you!

That was a barrel of laughs!

He's worse than ever.

- What's the problem?

- Hurry up!

The film's at 10:00.

Everyone left.

Can I have a lift?

Hurry, get in.

There!

Finally!

I know, we're late.

After the rushes, Rene had a sh*t fit.

- I brought Maggie, OK?

- No problem.

She's the Chinese actress.

She speaks no French.

What about Markus?

Where's Markus?

Hello. Hello.

- He's not here yet?

- No.

He'll be late.

He got in a fight with Rene. No.

- I bet they're still screaming away.

- Oh.

Roland and Maurice are here.

I'll have a whisky.

Hi there.

You're watching this?

Meet Maggie, the Chinese actress.

She speaks no French.

It's great stuff.

Don't repudiate it now.

CINEMA IS NOT MAGIC.

IT'S A TECHNIQUE AND A SCIENCE.

A TECHNIQUE BORN OF SCIENCE

AND AT THE SERVICE OF A WILL.

THE WILL OF THE WORKERS

TO FREE THEMSELVES.

Tell me what happened.

Don't brood all night!

There's nothing to tell.

We talked.

It was... Pretty heavy.

He was shooting daggers the whole time.

I tried turning on the radio,

and I thought he'd slaughter me.

He said I didn't understand him,

that I was a mere technician.

Yeah, that's what he said.

You can imagine

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