Iron Man 3

1

TONY:
A famous man once said,

"We create our own demons."

Who said that?

What does that even mean?

Doesn't matter.

I said it because he said it.

So, now, he was famous

and it's basically getting said

by two well-known guys.

I don't, uh...

(SIGHS)

I'm going to start again.

Let's track this from the beginning.

('90s POP SONG PLAYING)

(SINGING) Yo listen up here's a story

About a little guy that

lives in a blue world

And all day and all night

and everything he sees

ls just blue like him

inside and outside

Blue is his house

with a blue little window

And a blue Corvette

And everything is blue

for him and himself

And everybody around

'Cause he ain't got nobody...

-(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

-(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

(HONKS)

(CHUCKUNG)

Half hour till the ball drops.

- Hey, do you wanna...

- Tony Stark?

- Great speech, man!

- HAPPY:
I got you, pal.

I gave a speech? How was it?

- Edifying.

- Unintelligible.

- Really?

- Mmm-hmm.

It's my favourite kind.

A winning combo.

- Where are we going?

- Uh, to town, on each other.

Probably back in your room

because I also want to

see your research.

Okay, you can see my research,

but that's...

I'm not gonna show you my "town."

Mr Stark.

Ho Yinsen.

Ah, I finally met a man called "Ho."

-(CHUCKLES HUMOURLESSLY)

- Come here.

I would like to

introduce you to our guest, Dr Wu.

- Oh, this guy. Hey.

- Mr Stark.

-(GREETS IN MANDARIN)

- You're a heart doctor.

She's going to need

a cardiologist after I...

(HONKING)

- Bye.

- Perhaps another time?

TONY:
It started in

Bern, Switzerland. 1999.

(PEOPLE YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

- The old days.

- KILLIAN:
Mr Stark!

TONY:
I never thought they

would come back to bite me.

Why would they?

Oh, wow! Hey, Tony!

Aldrich Killian. (STUTTERING)

I'm a big fan of your work.

- My work?

- Who isn't? He means me.

Well, of course, but, Ms Hansen,

my organisation's been tracking

your research since year two of MIT.

TONY:
Yeah, we're full.

Oh, wow, he made it.

He made the cut.

What floor you going to, pal?

Well, now, that is

an appropriate question.

The ground floor, actually,

of a proposal

I'm putting together myself.

It's a privately funded think tank

called Advanced Idea Mechanics.

- Uh...

- She'll take both.

One to throw away and one to not call.

"Advanced Idea Mechanics"

or "AIM," for short. Do you get it?

- I see that, because it's on your T-shirt.

- Aw!

Ladies, follow the mullet. Ladies first.

Thank you, I'll call you.

(WOMEN TALKING EXCITEDLY)

I'm titillated by the notion

of working with you.

- Yeah?

- I'll ditch these clowns.

I'll see you up

on the roof in five minutes.

Just gonna try

and get my beak wet real quick.

You know what I'm talking about?

I'll see you up there.

TONY:
Damn betcha.

Come on!

I thought that was just a theory.

Well, it was.

If I'm right, we can access the area

of the brain

-that governs repair...

- TONY:
Wow.

MAYA:
...and chemically recode it.

That's incredible. Essentially,

you're hacking into the genetic...

BOTH:
...operating system...

-...of a living organism.

- Exactly.

- Yes.

- Wow.

Is that...

Can you...

- What?

- Can you not touch my plant?

It's not...

She doesn't like it. She prefers...

She's not like the others.

Come on. Let's go in the bedroom.

- Happy...

- Hmm. That's cute...

Leave her ficus alone.

Because.

And, no, seriously, don't.

TONY:
And you're starting with plants.

MAYA:
For now, yeah.

TONY:
Huh.

I'm calling it EXTREMIS.

- Well, it's...

- BOTH:
Human application.

Exactly, exactly.

- Dendritic revitalisation.

-It's revolutionary.

- Disease prevention...

- Change the world.

...even limb regrowth.

You're the most gifted woman

I've ever met.

Wow.

- In Switzerland.

- Hmm. That's better.

- Aw, you're seeing things.

- This week.

(CHUCKLES) You almost

bought it, didn't you?

-(EXPLOSION)

-(GLASS SHATTERING)

This is what I'm talking about,

the glitch.

Have you checked

the telomerase algorithm?

- The what?

-HAPPY:
Down!

Stay down! Stay down, boss.

- We're good.

- Stay down.

You... You're...

You're right on me. I made it.

What the hell was that?

(PEOPLE OUTSIDE

COUNTING DOWN)

- What was that?

- MAYA:
It's a glitch in my work. It's...

She was just talking about it.

Glitches happen.

HAPPY:
It's not Y2K.

-(PEOPLE OUTSIDE CHEERING)

- Hey! Happy New Year!

- HAPPY:
Happy New Year.

- MAYA:
Happy New Year.

All right.

I'll see you in the morning. Good night.

- HAPPY:
You good?

- Yeah.

- HAPPY:
I'll be right outside.

- Okay, cool.

(CHEERING CONTINUES)

TONY'. So, why am I telling you this?

Because I had just created demons

and I didn't even know it.

- Yeah, those were good times.

-(DOOR CLOSES)

Then I moved on.

After a brief soiree in an Afghan cave,

I said goodbye to the party scene.

I forgot that night in Switzerland.

These days, I'm a changed man.

JARVIS:
Forty-six.

- TONY:
I'm different now.

-(TONY GROANS)

I'm... Well...

JARVIS:
Forty-seven.

TONY:
You know who I am.

Ow!

JARVIS:
Sir, please may I request

just a few hours to calibrate...

No. Forty-eight.

(EXCLAIMS IN PAIN)

Micro-repeater

implanting sequence complete.

As you wish, sir.

I've also prepared a safety briefing

for you to entirely ignore.

Which I will.

All right, let's do this.

(SNIFFS)

DUM-E.

Hi, DUM-E.

How did you get that cap on your head?

You earned it.

Hey. Hey!

What are you doing out of the corner?

You know what you did.

Blood on my mat. Handle it.

Sir, may I remind you that you've been

awake for nearly 72 hours?

(WHOOSHING)

Focus up, ladies.

Good evening,

and welcome to the birthing suite.

I am pleased to announce

the imminent arrival

of your bouncing,

bad-ass baby brother.

Start tight and then go wide.

Stamp date and time.

Mark 42. Autonomous

prehensile propulsion suit test.

initialize sequence.

(POWERING UP)

Jarvis, drop my needle.

(FUNKY CHRISTMAS

MUSIC PLAYING)

(SINGING) Dashing through the snow

In a one horse open sleigh

O'er the fields we go

Laughing all the way

(GRUNTS)

Bells on bob tails ring

Crap.

Oh, what fun it is to sing

A sleighing song tonight

(WHIRRING)

Jingle bells, jingle bells

(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

Jingle all the way

Oh, what fun it is to ride

(WHIRRING)

In a one horse open sleigh

(LAUGHS)

All right, I think we got this.

Send them all.

(MUSIC CONTINUES)

-(GRUNTS)

-(CLANGING)

Probably a little fast.

Slow it down.

- Slow it down just a...

-(CRASHING)

...little bit.

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

(STRAINED) Cool it, will you, Jarvis?

(GRUNTS)

(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

-(RECORD SCRATCHES)

-(MUSIC STOPS)

Come on. I ain't scared of you.

I'm the best.

(GRUNTS)

(GROANING)

As always, sir, a great pleasure

watching you work.

TONY:
I guess 72 hours is a long time

between siestas.

I didn't think it could get any worse.

(GROANING SOFTLY)

Then I had to go and turn on the TV.

That's when he happened.

THE MANDARIN:
Some people

call me a terrorist.

(MAN YELLING INDISTINCTLY)

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