Iron Man and Captain America: Heroes United

1

DR. CRULER:
Intruder alert!

Intruder alert!

Attention all hydra

defense units!

Proceed to the South platform.

Lethal force is authorized.

I repeat. Lethal

force is authorized.

(GRUNTS)

(LASER FIRING)

RED SKULL:
Captain America.

Super soldier.

(GRUNTS)

One of the greatest leaders,

combatants and tacticians

who ever lived.

The only thing I hate more than

hydra soldiers are hydra robots.

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

He was once a normal man.

Did we get him? Where is he?

(GROANS)

Fire!

A weakling, who took the

experimental super soldier serum.

That man became unstoppable.

Coupled with his

unbreakable shield.

(ALL GROAN)

Trained in dozens

of fighting styles.

He is the pinnacle

of human potential.

One of the toughest

warriors of the modern age.

An allied hero in world war ii,

he'd battled the forces of

hydra with some success,

until he fought his superior.

With the fate of the globe

hanging in the balance,

their battle ended in a draw.

CAPTAIN AMERICA:
Hey! (GRUNTS)

When their plane went down

in the ice, they were frozen.

Revived only recently.

Well?

His skills are extraordinary.

Difficult to copy,

but not impossible.

So says the taskmaster.

Don't worry, red skull.

My photographic reflexes can

mimic anyone, even him.

Mimicking him and defeating him

are two very different things.

I believe a test is in order.

(WEAPONS FIRING)

That was a test?

Well done, taskmaster.

But captain America

is more than skill.

It is his focus, will, and

mind that make him who he is.

Sounds like somebody's got a

little man-crush there, red...

(CHOCKING)

The captain and I are two

sides of the same coin.

Do not underestimate him,

or me.

You've seen my skill.

You know what I can do.

Emulating captain America isn't

enough for my final goal.

I need the super

soldier himself.

TASKMASTER:
Leave it to me.

RED SKULL:
That's not all.

Another avenger possesses

something I require.

Iron man.

Stark? Tony stark?

What do you want with

that rich fame ball?

I don't want the man.

I want his weapons.

I've been preparing

for iron man as well.

I know all his weaknesses.

I am not convinced you can

take on two avengers alone.

So I've prepared reinforcements.

ALL:
(CHANTING) Hail hydra!

Hail the red skull!

Hail hydra! Hail the red skull!

Soon you will see what sets me

apart from captain America,

when I rule this world!

IRON MAN:
You sure

about this, cap?

I mean, I've got the world's

most highly advanced

repulsor-powered armor

and you've got...

No offense, a glorified

trash can lid.

Look, I don't wanna hurt you.

Did you say trash can lid?

(GRUNTS)

Ah!

Wait a second, I didn't say go!

In combat, you can't always

be the one who says go!

That's your problem, stark,

you never strategize.

You just wing it. (FIRING)

It's called thinking

on your feet.

Or in my case, boot jets.

I adapt to the unexpected

by being unpredictable.

You, on the other hand,

are super predictable.

You used that same move on

the wrecking crew last week.

(GRUNTS)

Whoa!

Ouch!

Worked both times, didn't it?

Yeah, but do you got anything new?

(LASER FIRING)

I'm pretty sure you

haven't seen this one.

Pretty sure I have.

(GRUNTS)

Well, then stop it!

Okay, you got me.

But if I had really cut

loose, you'd be toast by now.

Well, then don't hold back.

Your suit's a great weapon, stark,

but trust me, it can be a crutch.

A crutch? This time,

I won't hold back.

And to make it interesting,

how about a little bet?

When I win, you have to

wear my armor for a month.

And don't worry, I got

one in your colors.

Well, I don't need a stuffy

sardine can, but okay.

However, when I win, you go to

boot camp training with me.

And I hope you like

push-ups, Tony.

I see a lot of 'em

in your future.

I usually hire someone to do push-ups

for me, but you know what, you're on!

All right, Jarvis.

Let's turn old red,

white and blue

into plain old black and blue.

JARVIS:
If you say so.

CAPTAIN AMERICA:
You wanna

say go this time, stark?

IRON MAN:
Very funny. On

your mark, get-set-go!

(LASER FIRING) (GRUNTS)

Nice one. Block this!

You're making it easy!

(SHIELD CLANKS)

So are you!

Oh, really?

Give up?

JARVIS:
Captain America has damaged

several quantum dot nanocircuits.

Power is down by 15%.

No sweat.

Watch this.

(SHIELD CLANKING)

See? This is what

I'm talking about.

All armor, no skill.

Don't need your skill when

my weapons can do this!

(EXPLOSION)

CAPTAIN AMERICA:
You need to use

your most important weapon,

your brain, more often.

Hey bucko, you're

talking to the guy

who can divide quintic polynomials in

his head while trimming his nose hairs!

(GRUNTS)

Ah!

So keep your left up and guard

those pretty nose hairs.

You've made your point.

So, now I'm gonna make

mine and win this!

(GRUNTS)

(CLANKS)

CAPTAIN AMERICA:
Fine.

We'll call it a draw.

IRON MAN:
For now.

Just another little tweak and...

JARVIS:
Repulsors

are at 100%, sir.

How's the repair going

on your fancy suit?

It's just minor adjustments.

I'm ready any time! My

armor can go all day.

The best shouldn't have to.

That was the whole point, huh?

You didn't want to spar.

You wanted to train me.

You're my friend, Tony.

And I want to keep you alive.

Having repulsor-powered

armor is one thing.

Being an undisciplined wild man

in battle will get you killed.

Believe me, I've seen it before.

I get it. And thanks, Steve.

But my ability to fly by the

seat of my pants is who I am.

There'd be no iron

man without it.

(EXPLOSION)

WHOA! WHAT? JARVIS: Sir.

(ALARM RINGING)

We're under attack!

Jarvis, a little help here?

JARVIS:
Intruders, sir. They have

infiltrated our defense grid.

Who are they?

Jarvis system shutting down.

(EXPLOSION) Huh?

CAPTAIN AMERICA:

What are they after?

They're headed for

my weapons vault!

Let's move!

Right behind, ya!

IRON MAN:
Try to keep up.

How'd you get ahead of me?

Quiet.

HYDRA TROOPER:
Prep these weapons

for transport immediately!

Hydra.

Okay, here's what we'll do.

Wait!

Hey!

Do you have any idea how much I

hate it when people touch my stuff?

(WEAPONS FIRING) Blast him!

The nerve of these guys!

(ALL GROAN)

How's that for an entrance?

(WEAPONS FIRING)

I had an idea.

We could have taken them all

out in 10 seconds flat!

Did you not see them

ransacking my toy chest?

(CAPTAIN AMERICA GRUNTS)

Behind you!

Got it!

These guys are no problem, cap!

CAPTAIN AMERICA:
Unless they

get a hold of a giant gun!

Die, heroes!

IRON MAN:
I'll handle it.

Eventually.

(WEAPONS FIRING)

(ALL GROAN)

(GRUNTS)

(GRUNTS)

Hurry, Dr. cruler.

Haste makes waste.

I'm hacking as fast as I can, Dr.

fump.

Almost. Got it.

There!

We've breached the

magnetic seal, we're in.

Help me with the transport case!

Oh, no. Not in there!

Cap!

Thanks.

They're in the vault.

We gotta stop 'em!

(WEAPONS FIRING)

DR. FUMP:
There it is.

The stark repulsor Cannon.

Powered by its very

own arc reactor.

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