It Always Rains on Sunday

---

Come on.

Jimmy, would you like me to deliver

the papers while you go on reading?

Sorry, Mr Hyams.

Doris!

- Your father wants a cup of tea.

- All right!

Do you have to pull

all the clothes off?

Sorry.

- Raining.

- It would.

"Dad wants a cup of tea!"

She wants one, she means,

greedy old bag.

- All right, Mum! I'm up!

- I told you, don't call her Mum.

I've got to call her something.

Anyway, Dad likes us to.

He's soft.

Must have been to ever marry her!

Vi! You've still got your frock on!

That's right, tell the whole house!

I couldn't undress, I was so tight.

- Tight?

- Yes, tight. Stinking.

Vi!

What's it like?

Did you go to a party?

Fella took me to a roadhouse.

Didn't get back till after three.

- Doris!

- Just going!

- Got a hangover?

- Yes.

I'll bring you a cup of tea.

That theme without words

The song we first sang

The first day that we met

That cool fragrant music

I'll never forget...

That's quite a nice voice

you've got there.

- Do you really think so?

- Yeah. It's not at all bad.

Untrained,

but I've got an eye for talent.

I've always wanted to sing

in a band.

- Do you think I'd be good enough?

- Could be.

You enter for that crooning

competition at The Palace.

I'll teach you a thing or two

in the meantime.

If you win, we'll take you up west

for one of the big competitions.

I've got a lot of pals who'll help

you, if I give them the word.

Oh! I liked that tune!

It's a good number,

bad arrangement.

Wish I had a record of it.

You come round to the shop in

the morning, and I'll give you one.

- Pick what you like.

- Ooh, thanks!

- Enjoy yourself, kid?

- It's been lovely, Morry.

- What time is it?

- Two? Three?

Who cares?

Who cares?

I've got a key.

You've got everything.

Sam!

- Back again?

- Been here hours.

- Of course.

- Three teas.

Better unload that lot quick.

They're not the sort of stuff

you can shove under the bed.

- Who are we gonna try, then?

- Not old Neesley.

Not after the way

he did us last time.

- Diabolical liberty-taker, he is.

- Ta, Sam.

Say we get half a dollar a pair,

what's a gross of half dollars?

About...about 20 quid.

18 quid, if we get it.

Six quid each.

- Soaked to the blinkin' skin.

- A fine night's work

That's what comes

of Whitey's information!

800 quid in the Peter, wasn't there?

Sweet Fanny Adams!

If you can get any better

information, bring it along.

Mind if I have a butcher's, Sam?

I done a dog in the last

at Harringay.

Tommy Swann's

got his skates on.

That makes it perfect.

We shall be flogging this lot

with the law on every corner.

Ah! The Ritz!

Lovely weather for a manhunt.

Tommy Swann won't be fool

enough to come near this manor.

"Smith", "Brown", "Smith".

"Williams". Did you ever feel

Whitey Williams' collar?

Punch-drunk that goes round with

Freddie Price and Dicey Perkins?

No. Why?

I've got a hunch they did

that warehouse last night.

What did they get?

The joke's on them,

the safe was empty,

and all they collected was

a gross of kids' roller skates.

My oldest's been whining for a pair

of roller skates for his birthday.

If anyone offers you a pair cheap,

let me know.

- I will not!

- Where is that old bag?

All right!

Morning, Mrs Spry. Just having

a look at your visitors' book.

I see that. What do you want?

Extraordinary what a lot of Smiths

and Browns stay here!

I don't give 'em

their ruddy names!

- Mind if we look at your guests?

- All the same if I do, I suppose.

It's taking a ruddy liberty.

This is a respectable house.

Oh, I'm sure it is.

Well, I'm not stopping here

catching me death of cold.

One moment.

Do you remember this man?

Can't say I do. Who is he?

You might know him as Tommy

Swann. He was pinched here once.

Well, I can't remember the face

of every bloke what stays here.

He ain't here now.

I thought he was inside.

He was until yesterday,

but the naughty man ran away.

And ruddy good luck to him.

It's my duty to warn you,

if you're harbouring this man...

I know!

I'll be rendering meself liable

to a term of imprisonment

not exceeding two years.

I still ain't seen him.

And I'm going back to bed.

Good night.

- Get out of it!

- Bunch of bosses' lackeys!

Raining.

Always ruddy well rains

on Sunday.

What was all that row

in your room last night?

Cat came in through the window,

knocked the chair over.

Sounded more like an elephant.

Thanks, girl.

You can get

the breakfast started.

All right.

- Any murders?

- Don't seem to be.

You'd have thought somebody'd

murder somebody, wouldn't you?

- Bloke escaped from Dartmoor.

- Mm?

"Thousands of police throughout the

country were put on the alert tonight

"as a nationwide net

was spread for a convict

"who had made a daring escape

from Dartmoor.

"The man is

Thomas Edward Swann..."

- Tommy Swann?

- "..seven years' penal servitude

"for robbery with violence."

Why?

Do you know him or something?

Used to be a Tommy Swann

come into The Compasses.

- I don't remember him.

- Before you moved here, probably.

There's a photo of him here.

Same bloke?

Yes. Same bloke.

Two light ales, please.

Two.

- You look as if you need one.

- Thanks.

- All the best.

- All you wish yourself.

- Ever get a night off?

- Thursdays.

- What do you do?

- Nothing.

Why don't we do nothing

together one Thursday?

- Go up west?

- Why don't we?

I wish there was no such place

as Bethnal Green.

No pubs, no jobs.

There isn't. Not till tomorrow.

Present for a bad girl.

Tommy!

Oh, Tommy.

Do you really mean it?

I've got to go up north tomorrow,

on business.

Soon as I get back, eh?

Oh, dear. Is that the taxi already?

I'm afraid not, Rose.

- What's the matter, Guv?

- It's Tommy Swann.

He's been arrested.

- What do you mean, arrested?

- Smash-and-grab raid.

They caught him in Manchester.

What's for breakfast?

Haddock.

Cannot be purchased under

ten guineas. I'll take nine guineas.

I'll take eight guineas.

I'll take three pound.

I'll take 45 shillings...

Here we've got

a nice one for a lady going away.

I tell you what I've got. I've got

a big size for a lady coming back.

Outsize? I've got one 'ere with

charabanc fittings, Mrs Woman.

Any gentleman that loves his wife,

loves every acre of her.

Now, there's a cracker...

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

I've got the finest selection

in Petticoat Lane Market...

The last one!

I've got another last one.

And this is the other last one...

- Hiya, Sarge.

- Hello, Slopey.

Looking for bargains?

Or Tommy Swann?

- Tommy Swann? Who's he?

- Give yourself a break.

This isn't the usual

police court stuff.

Front-page interview, I want.

Thanks very much.

The last time I was on the front

page of "The East London Courier"

was when Nick Henderson

got damages for wrongful arrest.

Mazel tov...

Ladies and gentlemen,

dusters that you can't buy

anywhere else in the world.

And the price,

ladies and gentlemen,

comes in the region

of every working man...

- Morning, Mrs Wallis.

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