It Should Happen to You Page #3

- So thank you very much.

- It was really nothing.

- Thank you.

- What for?

- For coming out this way.

- What way?

- I mean, I appreciate it.

- So do I.

oh, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait.

oh, no, wait.

- Wait. Where are you going?

- What is it?

Aren't you gonna go

around Columbus?

- What for?

- To see it.

- It?

- What this whole date's about.

- What?

- What Ive got that you want.

- What youve got-?

- The sign.

oh, the sign. Yes. Yes, of course.

Every time I see it,

I get a bigger one than last time. oot.

- Would you drive around once more?

- A pleasure.

If you knew what it means to me...

...how it makes me feel and all...

If you knew,

you wouldn't ask me for it.

Not even for your own soap.

- I have another idea.

- Like?

- Well, I-

- once more?

- What?

- Around once more.

ut just once more.

I'm getting a little hungry.

What's food?

Now, what I had in mind was this...

...that we share the sign.

Then we'd all be happy.

I'm happy now.

When you think that last week

I was nobody...

...and this week Ive got my name

on that big sign...

...and dancing in a place like this

where everybody's somebody.

- You said something up at the office.

- Yeah.

- Something about 73 days more?

- From tomorrow, 72.

Now, my idea is this.

If you split the space with us,

you could be up there for six months.

- I could?

- I'd see to it.

In writing?

If you like.

only not in such big letters, huh?

Well, no.

- Look!

- What?

- Walter Winchell.

- oh, yeah.

That makes the seventh big name

Ive seen tonight.

What a night.

- Well, good night.

- Good night.

- Thank you very much.

- Not at all.

I had a real good time.

- Unusual.

- So did I.

- Well, good night.

- Good night.

- Well, good night.

- Good night.

Well, this is it.

- What?

- Where I live.

- oh, good.

- So I guess I better go in.

Very well.

- ecause it's pretty late.

- Yes, it is.

And besides, I don't think

your car's safe down there.

- No?

- You don't know this neighbourhood.

Locked.

They don't need keys,

not around this neighbourhood.

I'm scared you'll lose your car.

I have another one.

Shall we?

- See that?

- What?

You better go.

- I'll call you tomorrow.

- okay, but-

ut I don't think I wanna

give up my sign.

- Yes?

- open up.

- Who is it, please?

- open up.

- What do you think-?

- I wanna talk to you.

- What about?

- That thing up in Columbus Circle.

I went over there, all right.

First off, I couldn't believe my eyes.

Then I thought, "What a gag. "

Since then, I have been thinking

about it, and it gets my goat.

Why?

I smoked a pack and a half

of cigarettes trying to figure it out.

- What out?

- And you.

Cost money, doesn't it?

- Certainly.

- Where'd you get it?

It's my own. I saved it up.

And is that the best

you can think of to do-?

What sort of a fruitcake

are you anyway?

No sort of.

- So kindly get out of my room, please.

- With pleasure.

It's none of your business.

- It is if there's a maniac on the loose.

- I'm no maniac-

Just once, every so often,

something really gets my goat.

And this is one!

To think I actually know a grown-up,

civilized woman...

...who can take her hard-earned cash,

just take it and throw it away...

...on a nonsense,

as though it were garbage!

You hear me ask you what you do

with your money?

- Don't bother, I haven't even got any.

- All I did-

All I did is happen to meet you

in the park, by accident.

So I don't see where that gives you

the right to tell me off.

Correct.

And furthermore, different people

do different things...

...that may seem crazy

to other different people...

...but that doesn't make it.

Correct.

And furthermore,

do me a favour and butt out!

- Would you do me a favour?

- Like what?

- Remember my name?

- Sure, Pete Sheppard.

Well, do me a favour and forget it!

- Is it still on for Friday lunch?

- Certainly!

- Thank you very much!

- Don't mention it!

So the point that we're trying

to make is just this...

...that there's no reason

for you to be unreasonable.

I don't think I'm unreasonable.

- You don't?

- No.

I think I'm reasonable.

You're the ones that are " un. "

- Wait a minute. Here's something.

- Where?

Would this be a solution?

Supposing we gave you two signs

in trade for this one?

Two?

Possibly three?

How big?

I don't know offhand.

We'd have to look into it.

- ut not as big as this one, huh?

- Possibly not, no.

- No soap.

- What?

After all, Gladys- Miss Glover,

the size of the sign doesn't matter.

- No?

- No.

No, it's the location.

Now, what if we found you

four fine locations...

...and fitted them up for you?

How about six?

- Very well, six.

- And where?

Let me have the chart,

will you, please?

Now, let's see.

There's a fine one on 47th Street.

- Well...

- Most desirable.

And one in the 42nd Street

subway station.

- Well...

- Then there's one on the West Side.

- Yeah?

- And one on the East Side.

- Yeah?

- And one in Grand Central Station.

So now I'm all over the place.

This may be the best lamb chop

I ever had.

one of them's an electric sign.

Did I say that?

You sure know what

to do with chops.

I bet if I held out for eight signs

instead of six, I wouldve got eight.

Fish is what I like.

Did you ever go down

to the Fulton Fish Market?

- No.

- I'd like to take you down there.

- How about tomorrow night?

- Fine.

And on the way down,

you can look at some of my signs.

The Central Park picture's

practically finished.

- Really?

- I just need to get some music.

- I'm dying to see it.

- Next week.

- You know what would be nice?

- What?

If you took pictures of some

of my signs and put it in.

You certainly are one fine cook,

Gladys.

I bet I'm the only cook that's got her

name up on six signs all over New York.

What's the point of it? Where's it

getting you? No place.

No place?

I started out with no signs,

so then I got one sign...

...so then I got six.

So where do you get " no place"?

I don't know what it is, honey,

but I cannot get through to you.

Let me put it this way.

What most people, real people,

want is privacy.

That's about the best thing

anybody can have.

Not me.

- What is this craze to get well-known?

- Why " craze"?

Do you think everybody is so anxious

to be above the crowd?

- Yes.

- ut what's the point of it?

In the first place, everybody can't be

above the crowd, can they?

No. ut everybody can try

if they want to.

ut why isn't it more important to learn

how to be a part of the crowd?

Not me.

It isn't just making a name.

Don't you understand that?

It's making a name stand

for something.

- Names stand for different things.

- So who said not?

- Want my opinion?

- No.

My opinion is this. It's better

if your name stands for something...

...on one block than if it stands

for nothing all over the entire world.

I don't follow your point.

I wish you could. This thing is getting

more in our way every day.

What do you mean " in our way"?

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