Jack

!Vuela la conga, muchachos!

!Conga! !Conga!

- God!|- So bloated.

- She's bingeing.|- Bingeing? She's fat.

Honey?

Whew! I thought|I lost ya, honey.

- God, I think it's a thyroid problem.|- I think she's just fat.

Oh, yeah.

What's wrong?|What's wrong, honey?

- It's too soon.|- Oh. Oh! Josh, come here!

Hold on, honey. Easy. Easy.

- Brian, what's happening?|- Help!

- I'm only in the first trimester.|- Help!

Would someone please help?|We have an emergency here. I think--

-Yeah, call the doctor.|-Um, please, could you call Dr Benfante?

- Help.|- Calm down. Now, now.

- Huh?|- Oh, I'm sorry.|- Help me!

- Help me.|- Over here. One at a time.

Dr Brandon--

- Come on, now!|- Put it over here.

- No, I don't have anything!|- Put it in the tray.|- Honey, it's your tin.

Huh? Oh!

Okay.

- It's okay.|- No smoking in the hospital.|- No, no. No smoking in here.

Put that out.

I'm gonna quit tomorrow.|I swear.

No, no, sideways.|Come through-- Tha-That's it.

- When are you due, ma'am?|- N-Not for another seven months.

- Susan, wh-where's Dr Benfante?|- Brian, come here.

- Just hold my hand.|- There we go.|- The l.V. set?

- Have you had Lamaze?|- Uh, well, I haven't even|signed up for the course yet.

I'm only two months along.

- That's the epidural talking.|- She hasn't had an epidural.

What are you babbling about?|It's-- It's too soon.

- It's too soon, Brian.|- Here he comes.

Okay, guys. Calm down.

- Take it easy.|Calm down, everybody. Calm down.|- And now a deep breath.

It's too early for contractions.

- Hold tight. Hold my hand, honey.|Hold my hand.|- All right.

- Let's just relax.|- That's right.

- Okay. Okay.|- Christ.|- Wait, wait.

- Wait, wait.|- You said, "Come back next week." Huh?

- Yeah.|- You said it was just fluid retention.

"Go home. Have fun."

- Yeah, I'm not having fun.|- Yeah, you gotta breathe.

Sonogram's fine, Doctor,|for a full-term pregnancy.

- Doc, what's going on?|- Okay, it's really important|that you relax and breathe.

- She's fully dilated.|- It's gonna be all right.

- Now you're gonna push.|- Push, okay? Yes.|- No. It's too soon.

- Push hard. Push. Hold it. Hold it.|- Push. Push. Push.

- Good girl.|- Give it all you got.|- No, it's too soon!

- One more time.|- One more deep breath.|- Deep breath in.

- One more. Deep breath.|- And out.|- Push.

Push.

Look at that.|You've got a baby.

It's a beautiful,|beautiful boy.

Hey there, bud.

Hi.

- Don't rust up on me now.|- I'm sorry.

We'll call him Jack.

What you gonna be|when you grow up

What you gonna do|when your time is up

What you gonna say|when things go wrong

What you gonna do|when it's all over

There's a road

Long and windin'

The lights are blindin'

But it gets there

Don't give up

Don't look back

There's a silver linin'

It's out there somewhere

Everybody wants an answer

Everybody needs a friend

We all need a shining star

On which we can depend

So tonight we're gonna wish

Upon a star

We never wished upon before

What you gonna be|when you grow up

- To find what you're lookin' for|- What you gonna do when your time is up

There'll be times

In your life

Yeah, when you'll|be dancing and sh*t

But you ain't gettin' it

Don't get disillusioned

No, don't expect too much

'Cause if what you have|is all you can get

Just keep on tryin'|It just ain't happened yet

Everybody wants to be a winner

Everybody has a dream

We all need a shining star

When things ain't what they seem

So tonight we're gonna|wish upon a star

We never wished upon before

I'm sorry this|has taken so long.

Like you, we're puzzled|by your son's premature birth.

This is Dr Lin. He's an|infant disorder specialist from Cornell.

I want to assure you both that|there is nothing debilitating|about your son's condition.

He's totally healthy|and normal in appearance...

alert and quite happy.

However, his cells are|developing at what we feel...

is four times the normal rate.

Even though your son was only|ten weeks old when he was born...

physically he was nine months|and ready to leave your womb.

Nature has given us all|an internal clock.

It meters out lifespan,|controls our growth.

Your son's internal clock...

seems to be ticking|faster than usual.

- But he's healthy?|- Absolutely.

I'm sorry.|I still don't understand.

I've never heard|anything like this before.

Well, quite frankly,|neither have we.

There are other aging syndromes|that we know of.

Progeria, for example, which is|very devastating to the child, but--

Jack's cells are replicating|at an unheard of rate.

Is he gonna age like this|the rest of his life?

Well, sir, this is|only speculation...

but, uh, we feel that|at age one...

your son may be physically|around age four.

And if this continues|throughout his life...

by the time he reaches|age ten, well, he could--

Appear to be|an ordinary, full-grown...

Are you serious?

That's where he lives, right|down the street my whole life...

and I didn't even know about it.

I don't believe any of it.|He's lying.

Yeah. He's not a monster.|There's no such thing.

I'm telling you.|He's our age, but he looks 40.

All hairy and everything.|He's like a freak or something.

Just like in that one movie.

- Which movie?|- Duh! The one--

- Sorry.|- The one with the freak in it.|What did I just say?

Oh. Oh, yeah, l-l saw that one.

You didn't see it. His mom wouldn't|let him see it 'cause he has nightmares.

- I mean you no harm.|- Why haven't we ever seen him then?

I heard he's got|all kinds of toys too.

His parents buy him everything.

If he's our age,|why ain't he in school?

Because he's dangerous.|He's huge enough to hurt other kids.

That's why they keep him locked up.

Friend.

- What do you see?|- Nothing.

A teacher comes|to his house every day.

Jack, you're not paying attention.

- Jack, you're not paying attention.|- Don't be afraid.

I saw him in the store|with his mom.

I thought it was her husband at first,|but he's like a giant boy.

- He shaves and stuff.|- There's no such thing as giants.

Well, how'd he get like that?

Maybe his mom took drugs.

Maybe it was that fertility junk,|and she was gonna have quintuplets...

but just turned into|one big baby.

- Doof.|- Oh, he sleeps up there.

He's a monstrosity.|That's why they hide him.

No wonder they keep him|outta school.

Maybe they got him chained up.

Maybe they only let him loose|once a day to eat.

Is that like a big pile|of bones in his backyard?

- Where? Uh, what?|l-l don't see anything.|- Look!

Look!

Look out!

Come on, Louis!

- We gotta-- We gotta get outta here!|- Oh, gross!

Come on, Louis!|He's watching you! Come on!

Come on!

Ow. Ow.

- What happened? What'd you do?|Where does it hurt?|- Ow!

- My knee.|- Let me see.

Well, it's not bleeding. Okay.

- It's not?|- I can fix it for you.|- Okay.

- I'll bite it.|- No, no. No, don't bite it.|- Oh, yeah.

- I really do. I have to bite it.|- Don't.

- Yeah?|- It'll get infected.|- Oh, okay.

But this leg has got to come off.|I'll get your father's saw.

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