Jack the Giant Slayer

Fee-fi-fo-fum.

Ask not whence the thunder comes.

Ask not where the herds have gone.

Nor why the birds have ceased their song.

When coming home, don't take too long.

For monsters roam in Albion.

Jack, you're still up.

Sorry, Father.

The giants woke me.

- Jack, heh, it's a thunderstorm.

- Mother used to say...

... the giants made the thunder.

Look.

Where did you find that?

Along with her old things.

Will you read the rest to me?

All right.

Where're we up to?

The monks were trying to find God,

so they made magic...

Magic seeds. Aye.

I remember now.

"With seeds they pulled

from a magical pod...

"... the monks grew a pathway

to seek out their God.

"When they came

to what they thought...

"... was heaven's gate...

"... they met with a terrible, grisly fate.

"For between heaven and earth was a...

"... perilous place.

"Gantua, home to a fierce giant race.

"With a bridge now before them

to the world of men...

"... a plague of giants descends.

"Taking a cue from the richest of kings...

"... they acquired a taste...

"... for acquiring things.

"But the one taste that caused them

to lose all control..."

"Was a taste for the mankind...

"... blood, bones and all."

Well, that's revolting.

Too scary, Isabelle?

Giants aren't scary.

Not even their terrifying leader,

a monstrous giant...

... with two heads?

Keep reading, Mother. It's just a story.

Is it?

"King Erik...

"... bade the monks return to dark arts...

"... to find some way...

"... to rule giant hearts.

"So they melted one down...

"... mixed in magic and more...

"... and they crafted a crown

unlike any before."

King Erik's magic crown.

This is my favorite part.

"As soon as the king

took the crown in hand...

"... the giants were slave...

"... to his every command.

"He sent them back

to the place of their birth.

"Their home now a prison

between heaven and earth.

"Erik severed the link...

"... between giants and men."

"And peace returned

to his kingdom again.

"The mystical relics...

"... were all that remained...

"... safe with Erik through the years

that he reigned.

"And when time came at last

for King Erik to sleep...

"... he took crown

and seed with him...

"... for permanent keep."

"And as the king's bones

slowly crumbled away...

"... truth became legend."

Or so people say.

What will happen

when the giants come back?

They won't, son.

- But what if they do?

- Jack.

Well, I guess the king's Guardians...

- ... will have to cut them down to size.

- I wanna be a Guardian.

You have the spirit.

No doubt about that.

The king's Guardians must be born...

... of noble blood. There's not much in ours

but dirt and sweat.

It's only a story, Jack.

Giants aren't real.

But King Erik was real.

He was.

In some ways, he still is.

- You're of his blood.

- I've seen where he's buried.

In the royal catacombs?

Sounds like you've been having...

... some adventures of your own.

- Am I in trouble?

- Not at all.

I want you to have adventures.

- It'll make you a better queen.

- How?

Because you'll get to see

how the world works.

And when you're queen, you'll have the power

to make the world a better place.

Now off to sleep.

Sweet dreams...

... Isabelle.

Leave that one.

All right.

Now get some sleep, son.

We have to be out on the field

before first light.

Father.

How do you know giants aren't real?

I don't.

"And jealous eyes are looking down...

"... on peaceful fields in Albion.

"An enemy vows will come a day...

"... when giants return and giants stay.

"To wage a war...

"... and this time win...

"And to eat the last...

"... of Erik's kin."

Jack...

... when you're back

from selling the horse...

... get working on the weeds out back.

They're about to swallow the house.

I'll get to it, Uncle.

- And, Jack?

- Yes, Uncle?

Don't get distracted.

Come on, don't look at me like that.

I wouldn't sell you,

but we haven't got much choice.

Horse and cart for sale.

Going for a price.

I'll be sad to see him go.

Horse and cart?

Fee-fi-fo-fum.

Ask not whence the thunder comes.

Ask not where the herds have gone...

... nor why the birds have ceased their song.

When coming home...

... don't take too long...

... for monsters roam in Albion.

Now let's turn that frown upside down.

Here comes King Erik...

- ... with his magic crown.

Hello, mates!

I'm Erik the Great.

Hello, Erik!

Would you like to hear...

- ... how I defeated the giants?

Yeah!

In Gantua we set our scene...

... where a stalk has grown...

... from a magic bean.

And from there, beyond the reach of men...

... a plague of giants did descend.

And what do we have over here?

Hello, pretty.

And what might your name be?

None of your business.

Very pretty.

- Where did you get that?

Nice.

From my mother.

Now, please, let me be.

Come on, go after her.

Where do you think you're going?

- What's the matter? Not enjoying the show?

Hands off.

Hey. Hey, that's no way to treat a... Unh!

... lady.

To be honest,

you looked too drunk to do that.

What say we let the good lady go home...

... and I'll consider forgetting this.

We're sorry, sir.

We don't want any trouble.

Good. Because that's what

you're gonna get. Trouble.

Yeah. All three of you.

A whole...

... lot of trou...

There's something behind me,

isn't there?

What's your name?

Jack.

Something wrong

with your knees, Jack?

Hup. Forward.

Where's my cart?

Has anyone seen my cart?

Roderick!

- Roderick.

What?

- The king wants to see you.

- Why?

- Princess has wandered off again.

- Pfft.

You gonna let her do that kind of thing

once you two is married?

When we're married, as far as I'm concerned,

she can wander off a cliff.

I have bigger plans.

Roderick...

... why do you think them monks

shave their heads...

... like that? Heh.

Is that so God can see into their brains?

That's what I like about you, Wicke:

Stuffed to the gills

with insatiable curiosity.

Now, that's a pity.

Oh, thank God, it's still here.

Close the gates to the city...

... take some men...

... and find that monk.

And by the authority

of the Lord High Constable of Cloister...

... this gate will remain closed

until I find what I am looking for!

I am looking for a thief!

If you ain't stolen nothing,

you ain't got nothing to worry about! You!

There! With the bald head!

Turn around, let me see...

- ... your face!

Enough! Bow!

Him! Oi!

On your knees!

Horse for sale.

Last chance, going for a great price.

He's a good horse for a cart...

- ... if you had one.

- I'll give you 10 coppers.

Ten? Really?

I'm on an urgent mission.

Life and death.

Yeah, all right, deal.

I don't have the money with me.

But there's money at the abbey.

I'm sure...

... you're an honest man. I'd much

rather sell Anser to a man of the cloth than...

... a butcher...

- ... but I can't afford to go home empty-handed.

- Of course. Of course.

You idiot!

I wanna see their baldy heads!

Which is why I'm offering you collateral.

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