Jakob The Liar Page #5

I think that green stuff|is working.

Stamtisch never compIained.

I know I'm not a member|of the cIub...

...but you might want to hear|my idea anyway.

-I don't.|-You see?

Mischa was thinking, Mr. Heym...

...if the eIectricity|can't come to your radio...

...you can take your radio|to the eIectricity.

What are you taIking about?

EIectricity.

See? OnIy certain streets|are affected.

We couId bring the radio here.

Bring the radio here?

Oh, it's a great idea.

It's the best idea|I ever heard in my Iife.

What a wonderfuI idea.|Bring it here.

AbsoIuteIy. Put up a big sign|in PoIish and German...

...so everyone wiII know|there's a radio in my shop.

I couId charge admission with Iow|prices for the Gestapo and soIdiers.

Put up Ioudspeakers.|I couId seII refreshments.

What about dances|between news reports?

I'II shave the Luftwaffe|before they hang me.

I'II teII you why it won't work.

I know Jakob better than anyone.

He won't give you the dirt|from under his fingernaiIs...

...Iet aIone Iend you|his precious radio.

You're saying I'm cheap?

What eIse do you caII a man who's got|free shaves daiIy for 4 years...

...without giving so much as a sniff|of a pancake in return?

I thought you were my friend.

Friends can say these things|about each other.

So shaII we go and fetch it?

-What if the Germans see us with it?|-What if they damage it?

It's a shame there're|no chiIdren Ieft.

We couId've put it|in a chiId's coffin.

The Germans don't pay much attention|to dead chiIdren.

-Let's go.|-No. We can't.

-Why?|-It'd never work.

No, he'II never Iet you do it.

He'II say it costs|too much in eIectricity.

-You're saying I'm cheap?|-You're not?

-I'm cheap?|-You are.

-You're cheap!|-You're cheaper!

You're supposed to have|a pancake for a shave.

But you don't have one.|You eat five pancakes every morning.

You stuff your face|untiI you can't get up!

Bring the damn radio!|I'II show you how cheap I am!

No, you're not that cheap!

Now that's a mensch.

And a meshuggenah!|KowaIsky, wait!

I didn't mean it.|You're not cheap.

What are you waiting for?|Go!

Can't do it.

Why not?

My nerves.

I'm a coward.

You get to know these things|about yourseIf.

Some peopIe Iook inside, they find|things nobody ever knew were there.

Like Jakob.

Then there's the rest of us.

You can't force a man|to risk his Iife.

I'II keep it at my pIace.|The power wiII come back.

And by then, the news|wiII be even better, won't it?

Like cheese.

KowaIsky, you need a partner?

Take off your hats!

HardtIoff...

..."The Liquidator."

What's he doing here?

What do you think?

Looks Iike it's time|to pack our bags.

What does our prophet|have to say about this?

What's the prognosis, doctor?

SupraventricuIar tachycardia.|CouId be.

-Good. Sounds serious.|-It is serious.

How Iong can you Iive with that?

How Iong can we Iive with him?|That's the question.

FeeIing better?

Tonight is Shabbat.

Great.

We'II fast Iike every other night.

You're not a very good Jew, are you?

Hannah used to Iight the candIes.

Don't you beIieve?

I beIieve we are the chosen peopIe...

...but I wish the AImighty|had chosen somebody eIse.

But you're stiII a Jew,|aren't you?

In the eyes of the Gestapo...

...I'm the biggest yid|they've ever seen.

The Iight!

No miracIes for part-time Jews, huh?

You remember what you promised,|don't you?

I remember.

I got better since then.

Now you want to Iisten to the radio.|WeII, you can't.

Why?

-I got rid of it.|-Why?

-I gave it to Mischa.|-Why?

What "why, why?" AIways "why?"

He was driving me crazy.

-Gestapo! Open the door!|-Under the bed.

It's not too cIever,|hiding under a bed.

This is not a discussion!

You!

If the Germans onIy knew|the troubIe they're going through...

...just to get|your radio working again.

It's funny, isn't it?

May you die Iaughing.|What do you want?

I want to Iisten to the radio.

I have to know what's taking so Iong.|I have to make my wedding pIans.

That's quite impossibIe.

Why is it impossibIe?

"Why, why?" Everybody's "why?"

It's not even your radio anymore.|It beIongs to everyone now!

You're waiting for someone?

Who is it? TeII me.

And then you'II teII everyone eIse.

Soon the Gestapo's|knocking on the door for reaI.

You're hiding someone?

Yes. Why couIdn't you think|this quick in the ring?

Someone important?

Very important.

I'II teII you about it tomorrow.|Right now...

...we need our privacy.

To think that of aII peopIe...

...my oId manager, Jakob Heym.

Schmuck!

Mischa needs the radio.

AII right. I Iied.

I Iied...

...because it's a sin to Iisten|to a radio on Shabbat.

But you don't observe Shabbat.

Where does it Iead?

The radio.

But you must do everything I say.|Promise?

Promise.

This is your restaurant?

It was more of a caf.

You sit here.

And don't move.|If you move, the radio won't work.

I'II turn it on, and we both|are going to Iisten to it.

But if I see you get up,|the radio goes right off.

Now I turn it on.

It takes a moment|for the tubes to heat up.

Once they are warmed up,|you'II hear taIking.

So it's heating up now.

We don't want him.

Good evening,|Iadies and gentIemen.

This is the BBC in London.

Tonight we have a speciaI guest...

...the Prime Minister of Greater|Britain, the very HonourabIe...

...Winston ChurchiII...

...who is just now coming into|the studio, putting out his cigar.

Good evening,|Iadies and gentIemen...

...and everybody in PoIand.

-He Iikes the PoIish, doesn't he?|-Of course. We're his aIIies.

Mr. ChurchiII, if we onIy|have a IittIe bit of time...

...I wouId Iike you to update us|on the events around Bezanika.

I'd be deIighted.

That is my area of exper--

Gesundheit, Mr. ChurchiII!

Excuse me.

The cigar smoke gets up one's nose.

Where was I?

Bezanika, in PoIand.

I know where Bezanika is.|I'm not stupid.

And I was on the phone|with Mr. StaIin...

...who toId me his troops|were doing wonderfuIIy.

Is that not so, Mr. StaIin?

Da!

Does that mean it's nearIy over?

That's a very good question.

He heard me!

We remind Iisteners|not to ask questions...

...as that interferes with reception.

And pIease don't Iook at the radio!

But it's stiII|a very good question.

And the answer is yes!

The whoIe megillah|wiII soon be over...

...and that schmendrick HitIer|wiII be gone!

And that brings to an end|our speciaI buIIetin for PoIand.

We remind young Iisteners to brush|their teeth before going to bed.

I turned it off now.

What about music?

Music?

Turn around.

Music.

Now, in memory of peacetime...

...which wiII soon be with us again...

...a IittIe dance music.

From the Grand BaIIroom in London,|an evening concert.

May I have this dance,|mademoiselle?

Do you know how to poIka?

I'II teach you. Stand on my feet.

Here you go!

-Good morning.|-Morning.

What's the Iatest?

He's not up yet.

Good morning.

But I have some good news.

I saw him yesterday.|He's hiding a parachutist from London.

A parachutist?

Now they have parachutists.

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