James and the Giant Peach Page #7

would do without you. Ladies and Gentlemen! We are saved once again!

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Earthworm:
We most certainly are not. If we eat the ship, we shall sink.

Centipede:
We shall starve if we don’t.

Earthworm:
And we shall drown if we do!

Spider:
Couldn’t we eat just a little bit? I’m so dreadfully hungry.

James:
You can eat all you want. It would take us weeks and weeks to make

any sort of a dent in this enormous peach.

Grasshopper:
Good heavens! He’s right again!

Centipede:
What are you looking so worried about Earthworm?

Earthworm:
The problem is…well the problem is that there is no problem!

Everyone:
(laughing – improv lines along the idea of) Oh Earthworm!

(All of the INSECTS and JAMES begin miming eating their delicious meal.

Sounds of “yum” and “delicious” can be heard quietly as the NARRATOR

speaks.)

Narrator #1:
And so in the lovely bright sunshine, everyone sat down, and

enjoyed a delicious meal of peach. And as they finished up their delightful

meal, they gazed out upon the sparkling sea.

(Through the waves, SHARK #1 has made his way through the waves, and

only his fin can be seen above the watery waves.)

Centipede:
Look at that funny thing black fish gliding through the water over

there!

(SHARK #2, now joins the first shark.)

Spider:
There are two of them!

(SHARK #3 now joins them.)

Ladybug:
I see three!

James:
There are lots of them.

Earthworm:
What are they?

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Grasshopper:
Some kind of fish, who have come along to say hello.

Shark #1:
Hello.

Shark #2:
How do you do?

Shark #3:
Lovely day.

Earthworm:
I’ll bet you anything that they are sharks and have come to eat

us up.

Centipede:
What absolute rot.

(The SHARKS laugh menacingly.)

Earthworm:
I am positive they are sharks.

(JAMES makes his way to the edge of the Giant Peach and leans over the

edge.)

James:
Excuse me?

Shark #1:
Yes?

James:
You wouldn’t happen to be able to tell us what kind of fish you are?

Shark #1:
Well, let’s play a little guessing game.

Shark #2:
What group of fish is characterized by a cartilage skeleton?

Shark #3:
And five to seven gills on the sides of our heads.

Shark #1:
And a beautiful grey dorsal fin.

Shark #2:
But perhaps most terrifying of all is of course our jaw, which is full

of nice sharp teeth.

Shark #3:
Sometimes up to three thousand teeth.

Earthworm:
Shark! I guess shark!

Centipede:
Just assuming that they are sharks. There can’t be any danger

with them down there, and us way up here.

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(SHARK #1 suddenly opens his jaws quite wide and takes a giant bite of the

peach. The other two SHARKS circle around and then run at the peach to

head but it. All of the INSECTS and JAMES lose their balance.)

Shark #1:
Continuing with our little guessing game…what species of fish love

to ram against ships and vessels?

Shark #2:
And love to chomp and bite.

Shark #3:
And have many, many friends!

(The CHORUS of SHARKS swarm out and join the lead sharks. Each shark

bite, and ram against the peach.)

Narrator #1:
And now, as though a signal from the leader had occurred, all of

the sharks came swimming towards the peach.

Narrator #2:
They clustered around it, and began to attack it furiously. Each

one pushing and fighting and lashing their tails and churning the water into

a froth.

Narrator #1:
Panic and pandemonium broke out immediately on top of the

Giant Peach.

Earthworm:
Go away! Go away you filthy sharks!

Spider:
Oh we are finished now! They will eat up the whole peach and then

there’ll be nothing left for us to stand on.

Glowworm:
That’s when they’ll start eating us!

Ladybug:
Oh they are right! We are lost forever.

Earthworm:
They’ll eat me first of all because I am so fat and juicy and have

no bones!

Centipede:
Perhaps we should throw you over now, to save them the trouble

of eating up the peach first!

Earthworm:
OH! I DON’T WANT TO BE EATEN!

Grasshopper:
Think James! Think! There must be something we can do.

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James:
I’m not sure it’ll work.

Ladybug:
Any idea is better than letting these sharks beat our ship to a pulp.

It’s worth a try.

James:
I’m afraid it’s no good. I’m terribly sorry. We don’t have any string.

We’d need hundreds of yards of string to make this work.

Grasshopper:
(fiercely, as if he has an idea.) What sort of string?

James:
The strongest sort.

Grasshopper:
But my dear boy, that’s exactly what we do have! We’ve got all

the string you could ever want!

James:
How?

Narrator #2:
Where?

Narrator #1:
Remember the slumbering creature you asked about earlier?

Narrator #2:
The silkworm! I quite forgot about her!

Grasshopper:
Didn’t you ever notice the Silkworm? She’s still downstairs.

She never moves, just lays there sleeping all day long.

Ladybug:
But we can easily wake her up and make her spin.

Spider:
And what about me, may I ask? I can spin just as well as any

Silkworm. What’s more, I can spin patterns.

James:
Can you make enough between the two of you?

Spider:
As much as you want.

James:
And quickly?

Spider:
Of course.

James:
And would it be strong?

Spider:
The strongest there is!

James:
I’m going to lift this peach clear out of the water!

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Earthworm:
You’re mad!

(SPIDER scuttles backstage.)

James:
Now that I’ve got the string, there are just two more things I need.

Ladybug:
What?

James:
Seagulls. And the Earthworm.

Earthworm:
ME?

All insects:
Seagulls!

James:
The place is full of seafulls, just look up there! I’m going to take a

long silk string, and I’m going to loop one end of it around a seagull’s neck.

Then I’m going to tie the other end to the stem of the peach. Then I’m going

to get another seagull and do the same thing again and again.

Ladybug:
I’m hate to say it, but it sounds a bit ridiculous.

Grasshopper:
How can a few seagulls lift an enormous thing like this up into

the air and all of us as well? It would take hundreds…thousands of seagulls!

James:
There is no shortage of seagulls.

Earthworm:
You’re absolutely off your head! How on earth do you propose to

get a loop of string around the neck of a seagull? I suppose you’re going to fly

up there and attach it yourself?

James:
With bait.

Centipede:
(suddenly interested, puts his arm around the Earthworm.) What

sort of bait?

James:
Well Earthworm, remember I said I needed you too?

Centipede:
A worm of course! Seagulls love worms. And luckily for us, we

have the biggest, fattest, juiciest Earthworm in the world!

Centipede:
You can stop right there!

Ladybug:
Go on!

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Grasshopper:
By Jove, I think he’s on to something!

James:
The seagulls have already spotted him. That’s why there are so many

circling up there. Look how they are getting closer and closer.

Earthworm:
Stop it! I refuse! You can’t make me!

Centipede:
Be quiet! Mind your own business.

Earthworm:
It is MY business.

Centipede:
Only because we plan on using your body to bait several thousand

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