Jamesy Boy Page #6

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Yeah, let me beat

the sh*t out this white boy.

This is what I'm gonna use to

dig your eyes out of your skull

and feed 'em to your homeboys.

Now get the f*** outta here.

What's wrong with you?

Don't you have a hearing

tomorrow morning?

They're gonna revocate me anyway.

There's nothing I can do.

No, son, I've seen

stranger things happen.

I've seen convicts who wore

suits to walk be revocated.

I've seen convicts who ain't got no

business outside that gate get released.

The people on that panel

are just that.

They're people.

And all you gotta do

is convince one.

Yeah.

I still got my pride.

Oh, man, f*** that.

I bet you think

you being brave, huh?

Stoic.

You're not.

You're letting yourself

become a statistic.

Yeah?

It's easy for you to say... lifer.

Huh, motherf***er, huh?

Who the f*** you talkin' to?

You think I won't break your

motherfuckin' neck right now?

I'd give every limb I got for

1% chance at a real life.

Or a whisper of hope

to take a sh*t in privacy, huh.

Now, if you wanna take the pass,

you go ahead and take it,

you done this sh*t before,

motherf***er.

But don't you dare pretend

that that sh*t is courage.

Don't you dare.

That's some weak-ass, fake-ass,

And you keep playing

p*ssy around here,

you gonna get f***ed.

You got some

pretty ass eyes, b*tch.

Before this committee

renders its decision,

is there anything that

the inmate would like to say?

Not too long ago...

I saw an inmate kill himself.

He was my friend.

But I wasn't his, you know?

And maybe I could've helped,

I don't know.

But I'm gonna have to live with

that for the rest of my life.

And I don't think I've let the people in

my life down by making the wrong choices.

I think I let them down

by convincing myself...

I never had a choice to begin with.

You're not the first committee

to sit at a table

and tell me...

I deserve to be an outcast.

And maybe you're not the last.

But for the rest of my life...

people will look at me

and know I was here.

They'll question my integrity...

and say I'm a monster.

But this...

right here...

it's different.

It's different because

for the first time in my life...

I don't believe you.

Everything you've got

written there...

I did it.

And most of it I regret.

But...

No.

I don't have an excuse.

I don't have an explanation.

And if that means I need to

spend four to six more years

before I get another chance...

fine.

I'm gonna have to

live with that too.

But I will get another chance.

And when I do...

I'm gonna f***in' own it.

That's all.

This is it.

If I see you again...

I'mma kill you.

When you're so long gone

you can't help yourself

You can change over there.

When you're so dead wrong

Let alone no one else

Well, the children still

dying in the street

And babies still

living with disease

And the cops got guns

and poor folks got sons

That work for

Mr. Franklin every week

And if you come lookin'

for hard times

Hands!

Let me see your hands!

Hard times

ain't hard to find

Get on the ground, now!

Now!

'Cause we're given

that lifeline

Only once in a lifetime

Baby, we was born

Baby, we were born

To be sure, to endure

When the storm comes

Got them sad eyes

Got them cat eyes

Got your angels tired

From saving your life

So you would be best

To contain yourself

Before you end up killed

Get his bare feet

Touching her bare feet

The air breathes sweet

At the mountains peak

And I forgot

What the wise man said

About that ancient thread

And if you've come

looking for hard times

Hard times

ain't hard to find

Cause we

Mom.

Given that lifeline

Only once in a lifetime

Baby, we was born

Maybe we were born

To be sure to adore

When storm comes

Baby, we was born

Maybe we were born

Oh, yeah. Um...

I wanted to give you a head start.

Thank you.

Want some chicken?

Oh, sh*t.

Get the f*** outta here.

Come here, boy.

Welcome home.

How you doing?

Come on, man, what's a guy like you

doing working in the

dump like this?

Just trying to stay afloat.

You know it's tough to get a

good job with a felony rap.

Yeah.

But it makes me sad.

Listen, I got few things

going for me right now.

And I can always use

good people like you.

You say the words,

I'll put you on deck.

Have you driving a new f***in'

car by the end of the week.

No.

I'm trying to

fly straight this time.

Do things right.

Oh, okay.

Can't help a man out that

doesn't wanna be helped.

Good luck at finding things

you want outta life

at $7.50 an hour.

Holla at me when you

wanna get serious.

People give

them distractions

Robbed and maimed a soul

Pain of success

Ya head

Now just a spit of butter

figure way to move it

Who the hell are you?

I'm James.

I was just wondering if

Sarah's around.

I wanted to talk to her.

She doesn't live here anymore.

You got engaged.

Yeah.

Jake's at work.

What does he do?

Uh, he's a garbage collector.

He's a good man.

You're happy.

Yeah.

I'm sorry I didn't visit.

You did the right thing.

You moved on.

Was it horrible?

Came through all right.

The trick is to find

something that you love...

and hold onto that...

James.

I wrote poetry.

Everywhere I go in this city

I feel like there's something

trying to pull me back

into my old life.

It's harder than I thought it'd be.

And I need to get out.

Where will you go?

Far from here.

Start over.

New York.

I dunno.

I can't afford New York, but...

James?

Yeah?

Tell me a poem.

Please?

Okay.

In my mind, there's a boy

who exists in chains.

Inside a cold, dark room

of painful solitude

is where he will remain.

Behind these walls

the sorrow is inevitable,

as relentless as

the passage of time.

Mentalities corrupt and

dark, brainwashed,

and hopelessly blind.

Prisons are packed

with crowded spaces,

lifers and guards with

hollow faces.

Shackled hearts afraid of changes,

and weakened wills

become complacent.

Yet, I maintain with patience,

time can limit

but not shatter my will,

strength blazed across my chest

as solid as penitentiary steel.

But the silence speaks, it

tells me all I need to hear,

it confirms my beliefs and its

promises I have to fear.

It reminds me that without

freedom, I'm alone.

And these whitewashed walls

don't make up

for blackened souls.

I've given 95% of my boys

a handshake than a pound,

before they were either locked

down or buried off

in cemetery grounds.

What I've done is who I am,

but who I am is what I do now.

I won't let up or cease to fight.

Just time,

I plan on doing it right.

And what's right lies within me.

I'm learning to

appreciate my struggle

for it would be hard to find

the joy of accomplishment

without it.

We live and we learn.

We rise and we fall.

Like the heartbeat

of a sleeping giant,

with bittersweet dreams.

Stay up, never down.

Well, she won't give in

She won't crack a smile or a grin

Well, she won't give in

But she sure is different

Well, it's written in

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