Jane Doe: The Harder They Fall Page #3

YOUR ESTEEMED PUBLICATION.

SO THIS IS WHERE

IT ALL HAPPENS?

THIS IS IT.

PLEASE--

OH!

THIS IS WHERE:

WE MAKE THE MAGIC.

WOW!

WOW!

THIS IS GREAT.

NOW--

FIRE AWAY.

WHAT IS IT YOU:

WANT TO KNOW?

WELL, I WANT TO KNOW

HOW YOU DID IT?

HOW DID I DO WHAT?

GOT THE CEO:

OF HORNING FOODS

TO AGREE TO A LIVE,

ON THE AIR INTERVIEW.

AH!

BECAUSE, UH,

AS THEY SAY--

MELVILLE HORNING ONLY

TALKS TO ONE PERSON--

MELVILLE HORNING.

WELL, THERE'S NOTHING

LIKE BEING DUBBED

THE SMARTEST MAN

ON THE AIR:

TO GET PEOPLE TO SIT UP

AND TAKE NOTICE.

I'VE BEEN TRYING

TO GET HIM:

IN FRONT OF THAT CASSETTE

RECORDER FOR YEARS.

WELL, YOU WON' GET HIM NOW. BAD LUCK.

I'M SORRY, THAT WAS COLD.

THEY DON'T CALL US--

HARD-BITTEN JOURNALISTS

FOR NOTHING.

WELL, UM--

OH, ARE YOU

UNCOMFORTABLE?

UH, NO. I WAS JUST TRYING

TO MOVE A LITTLE CLOSER.

BOLTED TO THE FLOOR

I'M AFRAID.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO GE THESE TECHNICIANS

TO ADJUS THEIR FIELD OF FOCUS.

YOU KNOW, THAT PUTS ME

IN MIND OF THE MOS HILARIOUS ESCAPADE WHEN I WAS

IN PUBLIC TELEVISION IN DC.

BILL BUCKLEY AND I

ARE SITTING:

WITH JULIA CHILD

AND FRED ROGERS:

DICK--

OH, SORRY.

UH, I'M SORRY,

I HAVE TO TAKE THIS.

I DIDN'T EVEN

HEAR A RING.

IT'S VERY SILENT.

WEST COAST BUREAU, JANE.

AH, I'M IN THE MIDDLE

OF THE MOS FASCINATING INTERVIEW.

AHH!

ALL RIGHT, FINE. FINE.

I'M SORRY, I HAVE TO GO.

THEY NEVER INTERRUPT ME

DURING ONE OF THOSE

MIND-NUMBING BANK

MERGER PIECES.

BUT COULD I TAKE

A RAIN CHECK?

I INSIST.

THANK YOU.

OH, UM, I JUST HAVE

ONE MORE THING.

COULD I TAKE A PICTURE

OF YOU ON YOUR SET?

OH, ABSOLUTELY.

ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S PERFECT. OK.

SMILE.

PERFECT. THANK YOU.

DOES THIS TIE:

MAKE ME LOOK FRENCH?

Radio:
ROGER THAT,

WE GOT A GOOD LOOK.

OH, WAIT. LET ME

HELP YOU WITH THAT.

OH, THANK YOU.

I'M PATHETIC,

AREN'T I?

THAT MAKES TWO OF US.

YOUR BOSS IS:

JUST AS BAD AS MINE.

LEAVES ME OUT OF THE LOOP,

TAKES CREDIT FOR ALL OF MY IDEAS,

MAKES NO ALLOWANCE

FOR MY HUSBAND AND MY KIDS.

BUT WHEN IT COME TO HIM

AND HIS PROBLEMS, STAND BACK.

UH-HUH.

WHY DO WE:

PUT UP WITH THAT?

'CAUSE LIFE WOULD BE

SO DULL WITHOUT THEM.

YOU'RE PROBABLY RIGHT.

HUH.

I GOT TO CHECK SOMETHING.

HUH, MAYBE.

- WHERE ARE WE GOING?

- THIS WAY.

- WHAT'S HE DOING IN THERE?

- AW, HE'S A JERK.

WHEN I SAY--

10 GRAMS OF SUGAR--

PER SERVING.

WHAT COMES TO MIND?

WELL, THE CORN RINGS

HAVE ALWAYS BEEN--

WAIT A MINUTE.

THE CHAIR.

UH, THIS GARAGE

IS A MESS.

YOU TWO, I'M GOING

TO THE BANK:

SO DON'T KILL EACH OTHER,

ALL RIGHT?

I'M GOING TO QUENTIN'S.

THAT'S GREAT, HONEY.

- Both:
BYE, MOM

- BYE, HUN.

HEY, NICK,

CAN I TALK TO YOU?

WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU'RE ACTING EVEN

WEIRDER THAN USUAL.

MOM ALWAYS SAID:

WHEN PUSH CAME TO SHOVE,

IT'S FAMILY THAT WILL

COME THROUGH FOR YOU.

THAT IN THE END,

YOU AND I WILL ALWAYS BE ABLE

TO DEPEND ON EACH OTHER, RIGHT?

DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU

WANT TO DEPEND ON ME FOR.

YOU HAVE TO PROMISE

NOT TO TELL MOM AND DAD.

I'M IN TROUBLE.

YOU KNOW THAT FANTASY

STOCK PORTFOLIO:

I PUT TOGETHER:

FOR ECONOMICS CLASS?

UH-HUH.

WELL, IT'S NO COMPLETELY FANTASY.

I USED REAL MONEY.

HOW'D YOU GET MONEY

TO INVEST IN THE STOCK MARKET?

I BORROWED I FROM MY SAVINGS ACCOUNT.

THAT'S FOR COLLEGE.

HOW'D YOU EVEN GET IT?

I USED MOM'S PASSWORD

FROM HER COMPUTER.

MOM IS GONNA KILL YOU.

I DID ALL THE RESEARCH

AND I PICKED:

REALLY GOOD STOCKS.

AND I WAS DOING REALLY WELL

UNTIL STUPID HORNING DIED.

NICK, IF MOM AND DAD FIND

OUT THAT I LOST MY SAVINGS,

DAD'S GONNA HAVE

A HEART ATTACK.

THEN IT'S OBVIOUS,

ISN'T IT?

THEY CAN'T FIND OUT.

THANKS. SO WHAT ARE

WE GONNA DO?

I GOT SOME IDEAS.

HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE.

LET ME HELP YOU:

WITH THESE.

OH, THANKS.

OH, IT'S YOU. HI.

- HI.

- LOOK, UM,

WHAT I SAID:

ABOUT MR. LEONARD,

YOU'RE NOT GONNA PRIN ANY OF THAT, ARE YOU?

AND GET YOU IN TROUBLE

WITH YOUR BOSS?

I'M NOT THAT KIND

OF REPORTER.

GOOD. BECAUSE I LOVE

MY JOB.

WELL--

I DON'T REALLY LOVE IT.

IT'S PRETTY LOUSY ACTUALLY.

LOOK, I JUST WANTED

TO ASK YOU ONE QUESTION.

AS LONG AS IT'S NO ABOUT MR. LEONARD.

NO, NO, NO. IT'S ABOU MELVILLE HORNING.

NOW YOU MET HIM,

WHAT IS HE REALLY LIKE?

HORNING?

UM--

UH--

YOU KNOW, HE'S NOT AS BAD

AS EVERYONE SAYS, I GUESS.

UM--

HE WAS NEVER HERE,

WAS HE?

LOOK, I TOLD YOU BEFORE

I'M NOT THAT KIND

OF REPORTER.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING.

JUST MOVE YOUR HEAD.

WAS MELVILLE HORNING

EVEN HERE ON MONDAY?

YEAH. THEY SAID HE WAS OFF

IN SOME SECRET STUDIO

SOMEWHERE BECAUSE OF HOW

PARANOID AND WEIRD HE IS.

BUT I DON'T EVEN THINK

IT WAS A LIVE FEED.

I THINK IT WAS SOME OLD

CANNED PIECE THEY EDITED IN.

I PROOFREAD THE QUESTIONS--

THEY WERE CONSTRUCTED

TO GO WITH THE ANSWERS.

NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

WHY WOULD SOMEONE WITH

LEN LEONARD'S REPUTATION

DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

THE BUZZ IS THA THE BIG BRASS

BOUGHT PRESSURE TO BEAR,

BUT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY.

I THINK I DO.

ADVERTISING REVENUE.

WELL, HORNING'S CEREAL DOESN' ADVERTISE ON THE FINANCE CHANNEL.

TRUE. BUT THEY'RE THE NUMBER

ONE ADVERTISER ON KID TV.

AND ACCORDING TO

THE LATEST FCC FILING,

KID TV OWNS:

THE FINANCE CHANNEL.

OH!

HEY, FRANK.

SO WHAT DO YOU:

GOT FOR ME?

SOMETHING PRETTY GOOD.

CHECK THIS OUT.

GREAT. YOU HAVE

ONE OF THESE RIGHT HERE.

CHECK THIS OUT.

NOW THIS IS THE GUEST CHAIR

ON THE SET OF MONEY TALKS.

WHERE HORNING WAS

SUPPOSEDLY INTERVIEWED

LIVE ON THE AIR:

BY LEN LEONARD ON MONDAY.

THE CHAIRS ARE SCREWED

TO THE FLOOR, SEE?

- RIGHT.

- OK.

AND THIS IS HORNING AS HE

ACTUALLY APPEARED ON CAMERA.

SO IT'S A DIFFERENT CHAIR.

MAYBE THEY REDECORATED.

NOPE. I CHECKED.

HORNING WAS NEVER

IN THE STUDIO AT ALL.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE HE WAS ON MONDAY,

I'M STILL WORKING ON THAT.

BUT I KNOW HE WASN' ON THE SET OF MONEY TALKS.

NOW TAKE A LOOK:

AT THIS STOCK REPORT.

"CEREAL COMPANY SENIOR

EXECUTIVES SELL OFF HOLDINGS."

WELL, ANYONE WOULD

SELL THEIR STOCK

AFTER THE BOSS TAKES

A LONG WALK ON A SHORT PIER.

LOOK.

THIS ARTICLE'S

DATED MONDAY.

HORNING'S-- HORNING'S

VICE PRESIDENTS:

ALL SOLD THEIR STOCKS

BEFORE HORNING TURNED UP DEAD.

YES. THEREBY REALIZING

A HUGE PROFIT,

INSTEAD OF A HUGE LOSS.

LUCKY COINCIDENCE

FOR THEM, HUH?

RIGHT. KEEP DIGGING.

YOU JUST WANNA CLEAR

JIM MONROE'S REPUTATION.

NO, I TOLD YOU

I'M-- I'M JUST CURIOUS.

I THINK JIM'S A GOOD MAN. I'D LIKE TO

SEE HIM GET IT TOGETHER THAT'S ALL.

SOFTIE.

WHERE YOU GOING?

I'M GOING FISHING.

CAPTAIN BARNES.

THAT'S ME.

PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD?

YEAH.

DO YOU ALWAYS:

SWAB YOUR OWN DECKS?

I FIND IT THERAPEUTIC.

AND YOU ARE?

OH, JANE DOE,

HARBOR PATROL.

JUST TRANSFERRED IN

FROM REDONDO.

DO YOU EVER USE BAKING SODA

ON THAT THING?

AND TOMATO JUICE, LEMONS,

INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH

ODOR EATERS.

CATCH COOLERS:

SMELL LIKE FISH.

WELL, HERE'S THE THING,

CAPTAIN BARNES.

WE RECEIVED A REPORT THA A MELVILLE HORNING DIED

ON YOUR LAST VOYAGE.

IT SEEMS LIKE THE SORT OF THING A

CAPTAIN WOULD REPORT, YOU KNOW.

HE WOULD,

IF IT HAPPENED.

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