Jane Got a Gun

Callie and Decca

were two sisters.

They were on a boat.

They're in the water,

and Callie said to Decca,

"Decca, will you tell me

the story

about the upside-down tree

again please?"

And Decca said,

"Once upon a time,

"there was an upside-down tree.

"And anyone who walked in

through the door of its trunk

"would be immediately

turned to good

if they were bad."

Callie said,

"I would really like

to see that tree sometime."

They went on and on

in the water.

Can you make water?

Yeah.

And then all of a sudden,

they hit land...

And all the animals

joined them,

'cause they wanted to see

the upside-down tree, too.

They had a bunny rabbit.

Can you make a bunny rabbit?

Yeah, the bunny rabbits went,

and there were...

wolves.

And there was a cheetah.

And... No, don't eat my nose.

I'm trying to tell a story.

Are you a monster?

Are you a monster

eating my nose?

I'm so scared of monsters.

"I wish I could find

the upside-down tree,"

and they ran and they found

the upside-down tree,

but outside was a lion.

"Get away from my tree.

This is my tree."

And Callie said,

"Well, if it's your tree, Lion,

why don't you go inside it?"

Lion said,

"All right, I will."

And he went inside his tree.

And his claws went back

in his paws.

He started smiling.

He started relaxing.

He said, "You're my friends,

and all my friends

are welcome here."

And so Callie and Decca

went into the upside-down tree,

and they all lived

happily ever after.

Do good people ever turn bad

in the upside-down tree?

No.

Good people never turn bad.

Sweet dreams, baby.

Daddy! Daddy!

Ham!

Gunpowder.

Okay.

Ready?

I'm ready.

And...

now.

Son of a...!

Watch your language.

Last one.

This one's not coming out.

Jane.

Jane.

What?

The Bishop boys.

They're coming.

They're coming?

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

If them bullets don't kill you,

and this storm you somehow

brought upon us don't kill you,

goes without saying...

I will kill you.

But I reckon,

you might just be immortal.

Don't go jumping up the second

I leave, starting gunfights.

No.

I can't feel my legs.

You...

You get going.

Get Katie safe with you.

I'm not gonna have you

lose another child.

Jane?

You don't have to come back.

I understand.

You know me better than that.

Mommy, when are we coming back?

Real soon, sweetheart.

Coming back real soon.

Remember where you came from.

What was there?

A cord.

Right.

And wherever you are,

I feel you.

-Okay?

-Okay.

Okay.

Didn't I make it clear

last time?

You ain't welcome here, Jane.

Get out.

Bishop boys are coming for us.

I need help.

You roll over

in that bed of yours, Jane,

I think you'll find someone

who can help you.

He can't help.

-That's why I came.

-That's funny, isn't it?

Isn't that also the reason

why you left?

There is so much

you don't know, Dan.

What I know...

is I seen everything I need

to know with my own two eyes.

So whatever

you gotta say to me,

I figure you go back

to that little house of yours

and best tell it

to your husband.

'Cause me, I'm busy.

And I don't got time

to entertain

every girl I laid with

back in Missouri.

Dan!

If my husband could help,

I wouldn't have come here.

He's in rough shape.

Well, that's too bad.

What did he do?

Bishop boys have been

hunting us down for years.

They finally found Ham, and

they shot him to hell and back.

Well, I ain't no doctor.

I don't need a doctor.

I need a gunslinger.

Them Bishop boys

are coming for you...

you don't need a gunslinger.

You need a goddamn regiment.

If I were you...

I would just go home,

and I would toss that big

sack of sh*t on a wagon

and I would ride him

into town yourself,

so they can hang him quick.

Bishops would be sated,

and you'll still have

your life.

Maybe even a little bag of gold

for your troubles.

Anything else

you choose to do...

is pure ignorance.

I thank you

for your hospitality.

You're welcome. -And judging

by the looks of things,

you wouldn't have been

much use to me anyway.

Probably not.

I'll hire me

somebody in Lullaby.

He's not worth your life, Jane.

My life's worth

isn't your concern.

Hasn't been for years.

I understand

that you were engaged

in the trading of fur

with my old...

friend, Bill Hammond.

Somehow he managed

to execute four of my men

and then ride off,

despite the fact

that he was peppered

with bullet wounds.

Now, how would

he have done that?

I-I seen it through

the window, Mr. Bishop.

H-Hammond walked to his horse.

A bunch of guys

came around the corner.

All hell broke loose.

Ham-Hammond got

the best of them.

You ever see him

in the company of a woman,

significantly more attractive

than he is?

Goes by the name

of Jane Ballard.

Would you happen to know

where Hammond resides, then?

You're a fur trader!

Here I am trying

to trade with you,

and you've nothing to offer!

Don't know where he lives.

But I see him...

always heading north.

P-Please.

Please.

I... I have a family.

How long you been there for?

Got enough firepower here

to start another war.

What you want

all this stuff for, anyways?

Just do.

Yeah!

Well, mama said

we can bring 'em with us

if we pack 'em up.

Excuse me.

Do you know where I could find

John Bishop?

Well, Mr. Bishop's

a very busy man.

Vic could help you.

He's his right hand.

Sometimes his left.

He's right back there.

All right.

Thank you very much.

Pleasure.

Come on, Mary.

Bye.

You Vic?

What'd you want?

I want to join the trek.

Well, that wagon's full.

What? You don't hear good?

Something I can help you with?

I'm hoping to ride west

with John Bishop's party.

Fella outside said

there's no room.

That's my brother, Vic.

He's an unyielding sort.

What's your name?

Jane Ballard.

Tell me something, Jane.

How many's in your party?

Just me and my little girl.

Husband?

Had a fiance.

He's dead.

Died in the war.

You're only

a slight thing, Jane.

I think we can accommodate

your request.

We're assured protection?

Passage and protection,

most assuredly.

Thank you.

Seem to recall you putting up

more of a fight

last time, Jane.

The years do take it

out of a person, I guess.

How about you scoot

on back there?

Yeah.

Yeah. Get us a little privacy.

Now, let's you and me talk

about a certain...

fur trading son of a b*tch

named Bill Hammond.

I haven't seen Bill Hammond

in years.

-That right?

-That's right.

Is that a Walker

you got there, Jane?

You know,

that's a very particular

model of firearm you got.

Yeah.

Believe I've seen that very one

right up close in the hand

of Bill Hammond.

You remember when he shot me,

don't you, Jane?

Want to touch it?

Let me get this straight.

Hammond shoots four of my boys

with a Walker that looks

just like that one there.

Then, a couple days later,

his prize whore

shows up right here in Lullaby.

I haven't seen Hammond

in years!

You know, Jane,

I could believe you.

I really could.

But I like to be sure.

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