Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday

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Sh*t.

Bingo.

Oh my.

Damn.

Open fire!

Incoming!

Hit the dirt!

Yes!

I don't think so.

Good work,

Agent Marcus.

Thank you, Sir.

Good shooting, Mahoney.

Now clean up all this sh*t.

- Is that him?

- Yeah, that's it.

I.D., please.

All right, sir.

Name...

Voorhees, Jason.

This case is eyes only.

This tape is strictly

for internal distribution.

Anyone listening must have

C4 clearance or higher.

If not, you're in

a heap of trouble.

Jesus!

We have a large male Caucasian

with massive tissue loss

due to extreme explosive trauma.

Weight...

I'd say 230, maybe 240.

Third-degree burns over 65%

of the anterior torso.

First and second over...

posterior torso.

In addition to explosive trauma,

the subject is a victim of...

multiple bullet wounds.

At a glance, I'd say...

we're looking at well over

varying caliber.

This is going to be

a real joy to count.

In my professional opinion,

this guy's deader than sh*t.

Strike that last comment

from the record.

Evidence, upon examination,

indicates severe pulmonary edema.

I'd say the heart appears to be twice

the size of a normal heart,

malformed.

Fatty deposits...

left, right atria.

The heart appears to be filled

with a black, viscous fluid.

I reckon I don't know

what in the hell it is.

It's not blood.

I.D.?

- You just saw me come out of there.

- I.D., please.

Oh, one second.

Phil, this is actually

kind of an amazing opportunity.

How many people

actually get a chance

to say whatever they want

to Jason f***ing Voorhees?

Hey, f***.

How're you doing, you fat-ass,

maggoty, blown-up f***?

Suck this!

Suck it.

You know what

I'd like to do to you?

I'd like to take a crap

right on your f***ing mask...

a big old,

mango-sized crap.

Yes, that's a probe.

Phil!

So Doc, what's the verdict?

Jason going to be getting up

and walking around anytime soon?

We really nailed

that f***er.

He wasn't nothing but

a big old p*ssy, anyway.

Tonight on

"American Case File"

Jason Voorhees...

dead or deadly?

These dramatic photos were taken

in the aftermath of the autopsy

of Jason Voorhees.

The facts:

Two security men... dead.

A coroner... dead.

Another coroner... missing.

Are these men victims

of a serial killer

only believed

to be deceased?

Many say yes.

Hi, I'm Robert Campbell.

For over 20 years,

the mere mention of

the name Jason Voorhees

has been enough to send

a shudder of fear

through the hearts

of an entire nation.

Born in 1946

to Elias and Pamela Voorhees,

Jason was believed to have

drowned in Camp Crystal Lake

at the tender age of 11.

Sadly, he did not.

Since then, he has been responsible

for 83 confirmed murders,

and speculated scores of others.

Tonight, on a very special episode

of "American Case File,"

we'll show you an interview

conducted with Mr. Creighton Duke,

just one week after Jason's

alleged termination.

You'll remember Mr. Duke

as the bounty hunter

previously responsible

for the capture

of six of this country's

most reviled serial killers.

Let's go to the tape.

For the first time ever,

our cameras were allowed

a glimpse of the private

training compound

of bounty hunter

Creighton Duke.

Duke invited us with the promise

of a very unusual,

very expensive proposition.

And I think you'll agree,

in typical Creighton Duke fashion,

he gave us much more

than we bargained for.

Just watch.

I'm going to say two words

to you, Mr. Duke,

and I want you to say the first thing

that comes to your mind. Okay?

- Okay.

- You ready?

- Shoot.

- Jason Voorhees.

That makes me

think of...

a little girl

in a pink dress,

sticking a hot dog

through a donut.

I was actually referring

to your claim

that Jason Voorhees

is not truly dead.

What you think of

as Jason is...

not Jason.

That body he's wearing...

that's just meat.

That boy knows

how to dress...

he wears other people's bodies

like folks wear a suit.

Aw, he may get blown up, but that's

just a minor inconvenience for him...

he'll just get himself

another body.

Jason Voorhees,

the true Jason Voorhees,

is something you and I have never

seen before, Mr. Campbell.

There's only one way

to put an end to him for all time,

and I'm the only one

that knows the way.

So if you want him dead,

truly dead,

$500,000 is my fee,

and for that you get the mask,

the machete, the whole damn thing.

Quite a character.

In the week following our interview

with Creighton Duke,

there have been five more

Jason-style murders,

all... perhaps not surprisingly...

on a direct path

from the federal morgue

in Youngstown, Ohio,

where Jason's remains were flown

to Crystal Lake.

Tonight, in the interest

of public safety,

I am prepared to offer

Creighton Duke his sum of $500,000,

payable only after he provides

"American Case File"

and the American people

with incontrovertible proof

of Jason's existence,

and then puts

an end to him for all time.

We'll be back with

"American Case File" in a moment.

- This is truly sick.

- Tell me about it.

No, this is not sick, Diana,

this is business.

People are going to come see

Jason's home town,

and they're going

to come with appetites.

- Break a leg, food's up!

- Thanks, Shel.

Hey, Ma... you really want me

to cut these like this?

- Yes, I do.

- It looks stupid.

It's you own dumb-ass fault...

they're supposed to look

like hockey masks.

Now watch.

This makes a whole new patty...

hence, the two-for-one burger sale.

I love this woman.

Hold me back!

You guys make me sick.

What can I get you?

I'll take a Voorhees Burger

and a side of Jason Fingers.

- Okay, anything else?

- Yes.

- Creighton Duke.

- I know who you are.

I'm going to kill Jason Voorhees.

I need you to help me.

- Jason Voorhees is dead.

- You know he's not.

I know he's not,

and he's coming for you.

Your food will be right out.

Name your price.

Everyone has a price.

What's yours?

- What do you want?

- You know what I want,

and you know why I need you.

- I think you need to leave.

- I know everything about you, Diana.

I know who you really are!

- What's the problem here?

- Nothing.

I was just making

your girlfriend a proposition

and she's thinking it over.

Right, love?

Go on, get up.

Why don't you

blow me, Chief?

Right after your girlfriend

gets through.

That's my lady

you're talking about.

See, she is

only your lady

because she ain't had

a taste of the Duke yet.

- Goddamn it!

- Careful, careful, Chief!

I don't think

you really know who I am.

I know who you are.

The last thing

we need around here

is some freako

bounty hunter causing trouble.

I want you out of this town

and I want you out now.

- That is very colorful, Chief.

- Randy!

Take him out to my car.

I'll be out in a minute.

All right, let's go.

He's coming for you, Diana,

and your daughter.

- Lock your doors.

- Uh-huh.

I'm sorry if he upset you.

I don't need you

to fight my battles.

I don't need

any part-time protection.

You okay?

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