Jewel Robbery Page #3

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Now, at what polo game

have I been

where there was

a robbery?

My dear minister,

if it was at a polo match,

I was playing.

Uh,

will please say, "ah"?

Mm.

No. Say, uh,

"ninety-nine."

Ninety-nine.

Thank you.

"From Teri."

Now, uh, may I

disturb you again?

Thank you.

That's a very becoming dress

you're wearing.

I'm not sure

I wouldn't like you better

in blue --

a deep, lovely blue.

It would just match

your eyes.

Has everyone ever told you that

your eyes are like sapphires?

Apparently, conversation doesn't

interfere with your work.

No, not at all.

On the contrary, it calms.

It dissipates all fear.

Notice how calm

you've all become.

Terror has vanished from

the scene of the robbery.

All quiet, sir.

The girls

are doing beautifully --

not a policeman

within 10 blocks.

Splendid, splendid.

Whenever we stage

an event of this kind,

we always place a very alluring

blonde on each corner.

So we never have to worry

about the police.

Effective,

don't you think?

This is becoming

delightful.

The lady is pleased?

I am glad.

He doesn't need

your encouragement.

But it helps.

Oh, you must admit

the situation's unusual.

And the operation

practically painless.

You see now the advantage of

suiting the method to the place?

The customary technique

of terrorism

would certainly

not have amused you.

As it is, the lady has smiled,

the gentlemen are at ease,

and we shall even have time

to take a lot of the gold

and silver.

That's very accommodating.

I'm learning a lot

from you.

Now,

that's a real tribute.

That's the first time

I've ever known my husband

to admit that he could learn

anything from anybody.

He's going to learn

something from me someday.

I wouldn't provoke him,

Paul.

He doesn't get a chance to shoot

a cabinet minister every day.

He's comparatively safe.

I do very little shooting

these days.

As a matter of fact,

I'm opposed to the American

school of banditry.

I studied in Paris.

You have to work harder,

but you do acquire

a certain finesse

that is missing

from the "stick 'em up

and shoot them down" school.

And note this, too --

no mess, no confusion.

A new stock can be moved in

tomorrow.

No bankruptcy lawyer ever

cleared out a place more tidily.

For which

I must thank you all.

You have cooperated

beautifully.

Protective agency

coming, sir.

Thank heavens.

Sit down.

- If you move --

- I-I'm not moving.

It's marvelous how you respond

to suggestion.

- Now, one last favor, yes?

- Yes.

When the watchman enters,

just talk to him calmly

and leisurely.

Tell him that you still have

half an hour's work to do.

- You understand?

- Yes.

- "I have some more work to do. Come

back in a half an hour." - Right.

And none of you should find it

difficult to be calm

with my revolver

pointed at you.

And now let's talk

so our good friend

won't be troubled.

Do you tango, madame?

There's nothing

like a tango

to bring people

closer together.

Well, here I am,

Mr. Hollander.

Time, tide, and Lenz

can always be depended upon.

A little too early.

I still have some work to do.

Come back in an hour.

Half an hour, Mr. Hollander.

Half an hour will be enough.

Oh, yes.

Half an hour.

As you say.

Huh.

All the goods put away.

Yes.

Every last piece.

That's fine.

Much better than to let things

lie around all night.

You might be my echo.

Always be suspicious.

Don't be fooled

by anybody.

Anything strange --

if it ain't more

than a mouse's whisker --

call the police.

There's a man for you.

From the Vienna protective

agency, aren't you?

That's right.

I could tell.

- May I ask a favor?

- Surely, sir.

You may have noticed my car

standing in front of the shop.

Would you mind

carrying out those two bags

and putting them in?

- With pleasure, sir.

- Thank you.

Say! They're not filled

with feathers, are they?

I should say not.

Gold.

Gold? Oh, I see.

Taking it away

to have it melted.

Yes, tomorrow,

the whole lot gets melted.

Well, I'm glad to see somebody

in Vienna's doing business.

Good night, Mr. Hollander.

Good night.

And you won't move

away from this car

until I come out,

will you?

When I watch, I watch.

Lenz is nobody's fool.

Please?

No, no,

no, no, no.

Well,

I must bow to that.

- Thank you.

- Delicious.

Thank you, but

I've done even better.

- Once in Paris --

- it's getting late, sir.

Oh, yes.

- Cigarette?

- No, thanks.

Mr. Hollander, do smoke

one of my cigarettes.

With pleasure.

Now, inhale deeply.

Thank you.

Yes, in Paris once,

as I started to tell you,

I carried away a case of gold

in broad daylight,

and 12 gendarmes

accompanied my motor.

Nothing like having

the help of the police.

Mere bravado.

Not at all.

I don't fancy your method

of buying the authorities.

- That's a lie.

- Come on, now, baron.

We know that you bankers

keep governments

in your

waistcoat pockets.

- You're a communist.

- I'm not a communist.

Go right on smoking,

Mr. Hollander.

Never mind us.

Oh, the present order

of society

is entirely satisfactory

to me.

You think I should do as well

for myself under communism?

What should I steal?

Power plants? Grain elevators?

International finance

takes brains.

He's not laughing at you, baron.

It's just life you're laughing

at, Mr. Hollander, isn't it?

If you're so clever,

why not come around to my office

someday, and I'll try you out?

I couldn't take that chance.

You're a banker.

You might not be honest

with me.

What's so funny?!

Drop him on the sofa,

then out the back.

What did you give him?

A pleasant,

harmless smoke.

He'll awake in the morning,

fresh and happy,

with a marvelous appetite.

- Gentlemen.

- I am smoking. Thanks.

I only smoke cigars.

Well, then, perhaps

you will be kind enough

to step into the safe.

No.

To my everlasting regret,

I am going to be forced

to lock you in.

Don't be depressed.

It isn't for life.

The cells are --

uh, the safes

are comfortable

and electrically lighted.

And now, madame,

with which gentleman

would you prefer

to share a safe?

I prefer not to be locked up

at all, with either of them.

Very diplomatic.

In that case, we lock

the gentlemen up together.

If you please,

gentlemen.

Let me tell you

something.

If you let us go now,

I'll try

and get you off

with a light sentence,

but if you lock us up,

that's legal assault,

and I'll see to it

that you get the limit.

I'm sorry

to have to interrupt.

You can finish your speech

in the safe.

Darling!

Auf Wiedersehen!

Don't let him

frighten you, Teri.

The evening paper, sir!

Now to dispose of you.

What are you

going to do to me?

No.

- Well, then, a cigarette.

- No!

Oh, but they're

harmless, really.

Two puffs, and you'll

be hearing soft music.

The world will begin

to revolve pleasantly.

No.

Three,

a beautiful dream.

How do you know

all this?

Experience. I assure you, all

the ladies fall asleep happily.

Oh. So you can steal their

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