Jimmy the Gent Page #2

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All right, I will, okay.

If you will, please.

Call me back. Thank you.

A good tip?

Well, perhaps.

What is it?

A derelict old lady with her garments lying

with gilt-edge securities

How exciting.

What a chance for us.

I love your enthusiasm.

Well, aren't you the least bit

excited yourself?

Well, frankly, yes.

I must confess I get quite a glow

when I think of some superannuated spinster...

or a poor harassed little clerk

to whom you shall bring the glad tidings

that they've suddenly come into

a great fortune.

I should say.

There's a lot of human interest

in this racket.

Oh, my dear child...

Please don't refer to our enterprise

as a racket.

Jamais...

Well, we do take commissions,

don't we?

Isn't the laborer worthy of his hire?

You know, you have so much feeling

for the poor little guys

You're not tricky and underhanded like...

well, like some of our competitors.

To whom do you refer?

I'm not mentioning any names.

I think I know who you mean.

Miss Martin speaking.

Yes.

Oh, Blair. Mr Wallingham's right here.

Yes, Blair.

Mr Wallingham...

I got the numbers

of those safe deposit keys for you.

Fine.

Take this down.

Farmers Loan and Trust?

Good. You'll find that I'm not ungrateful,

Blair.

Bye.

You better give this case your

personal attention.

I'll get on it right away before Jimmy Corrigan

and his Tarzans get wind of it.

Wait a minute. Corrigan doesn't get any

tips from the emergency....

I don't trust him. He'd bribe a corpse

to sit up and telephone.

You seem to know a lot about this

Jimmy Corrigan.

Why shouldn't I? I worked in his office

for ten months, don't forget.

There isn't much about Jimmy Corrigan

and his methods that I don't know.

It's invaluable having you here

knowing as much about Corrigan

as you do and his peculiar technique.

You're very stimulating.

I need a haircut.

Hello.

Hello, get me Farmers Loan,

will you?

Is that you, Viola?

Where's Ronnie?

He just stepped out

to get some cigarettes, Miss Martin.

Oh, he has.

Okay, Viola.

That's funny.

What is?

Every time a hot tip comes into

this office

Ronny Gatson steps out to get

a deck of cigarettes.

I see, and your feminine instinct tells you...

Tells me I'm going to get

a big black cigar.

You know, I've had a hunch on this

for a long time....

Will you please get

that Farmers Loan call for me

and get me the name and the keys

registered under...

Ummm...

Thanks.

It looks like a hot tip, Mr Corrigan.

Mr Wallingham is all steamed up

over it.

What? Oh, don't worry about it,

I'm phoning from downstairs in the lobby.

You know, the old gag of

running out for a pack of cigarettes.

You better hop right to it, Mr Corrigan.

Our office is going right to work.

All right, hang up those stockings, kid.

Santa Clause won't forget you.

All right, goodbye.

Bye, kid.

Chalking up another one for Corrigan.

Just a minute, Mr Gatson.

Miss Martin...

Nice work, what's he paying you?

Why, I'm sure I don't...

That's not enough. How about

the wear and tear and your reputation?

But I swear...

Don't give me that. Beat it.

Miss Martin, Miss Martin, I swear...

I'll throw your hat out the window.

That cheat has been paying off all them nurses

and internes at the emergency, ain't it?

Swell, now if we could only

do that all around....

we could let some of them mugs go

we got working for us.

What? And throw all the nice boys

out of work?

What becomes in our way, what becomes of liberty,

what becomes of democracy?

Boy, you're a prince.

Aw, just do my part, that's all.

Now look...

You beat it down to the

Farmers Loan and Trust Company

and bribe that dumb vault man

to give you all the dope on that old lady.

Get it?

And look! If you miss anything,

you get lumps.

Hey! And tell that guy out there to take $5

out of your salary for that glass.

Well, I fired him, the little sneak.

It was all Corrigan's fault.

My dear child, you mustn't let these little

contretemps disturb you.

After all, what is Jimmy Corrigan to you?

Nothing. Not a thing.

Only...

Yes?

Well, I hate to think of him

well anybody, for that matter,

being so low.

Oh, but don't you see?

Unless you wish to avoid life,

like a coward,

you've got to contact the Corrigans of this world.

Business, politics,

all our modern civilization demands

that people with ethics

get into the fight for decency.

You said it.

And so I'm going down this red hot second

and tell Jimmy Corrigan just what I think

of him if it's the last thing I ever do.

All right, how old was ya when

you left Atlanta, Georgia?

Er... I was 14 years old, sir.

Right. And... what were your father's

and mother's names?

Elizabeth Ann and Roger Smith Worthington,

sir.

Right again.

Did you have any brothers and sisters?

Yes, sir, I had a sister, sir.

And what was her name?

Geez, I'm never gonna remember

that dame's handle.

Abigail you fathead, Abigail!

Abigail. Yes, sir.

Little Abby, we used to call her.

You see, I was a bit confused, sir.

What was you confused about?

Cause after last time I didn't have no sister,

see? You stuck her in.

Cut that out.

Remember you're a southern gentleman,

you mug, a southern gentleman.

Now give him the line again,

give him the line.

Okay, boss. Look, here,

southern gentleman,

you must say "sho'nuff".

Sho'nuff?

Yes, sir. Then you must say "y'all".

Yall.

Y'all.

Y'all can impose the utmost confidence

in me, sir.

A Worthington, sir. A Georgia Worthington.

All right, Eddie. Take him down

to those lawyers.

And if he starts making a mistake,

kick him in the shins.

And if he makes any...

tie an anvil around his neck

and drop him in a drink.

Go ahead.

Okay, boss.

Look here, Colonel Abigail...

If y'all run out of words,

sing "My Ole Kentucky Home".

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Well, well.

If it ain't little Joanie.

How are you, baby? Come on in.

Cigarette?

No, thanks.

I've been thinking about you, baby.

I wish you wouldn't, Jimmy.

What?

Think about me.

What's the matter?

I'm liable to catch something hanging

out in your mind.

Oh, I don't see you for months

and the first thing you do is insult me.

Yes, if it's possible.

Well you're doing all right for a start.

What's in your mind?

Ronnie Gatson.

Why, the dirty little rat.

Did he squeal?

No, I caught him.

Oh, that's a shame.

You mean you're sorry, Jimmy?

Yeah, sure I'm sorry.

It spoils my whole setup

Oh, that's it.

You know I never like to see anybody

get caught.

Yeah, you don't care what anyone does,

it's just getting caught.

What's the matter with that?

I'm in business, ain't I?

I say, crooked business.

Oh, all business is crooked.

Signed Jimmy Corrigan,

the boy with the worm's eye view.

There's only two kinds of guys in business,

those who get caught and those

who don't.

It would give you a bad minute,

wouldn't it

to know that there are a lot of men

that don't look at things the way you do.

Name one... never mind, I know.

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