Jimmy the Gent Page #5

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When?

Now.

I'd have to have my hair done first.

You know,

I always say it's half the battle.

That electric chair don't look so bad.

Now wait a minute, take it easy,

take it easy.

Sit tight.

Mabel, Mabel...

What's your name?

Mabel.

That's right.

Now look, look.

Here's $250,

$250 on account.

On account of what?

On account of your name is

Fanny Brown.

Can you remember that?

Sure, on account.

She caught that head in the door

when she was a baby.

Ten, twenty...

Listen cope with that for a minute, will you?

seventy, eighty... Hello, honey.

Here we are, Judge.

I'll get Mr Corrigan.

There he is now. Boss...

I want you to meet...

Hiya, Judge.

Pleased to meet you...

My name is Corrigan.

Sit down over here, will you?

I got a couple of things I gotta do.

Sit right right there, I'll be right with you.

Come here, Lou, come here.

Hello, Louie.

Come on.

I knew we shouldn't have went in

for antics.

Sufficient you needed it

the moment thereof.

Now get out of the way.

here, you try to act like a crazy

about each other.

Stick that in your kick.

And you, you act respectful.

Stay right there.

Hello, cupid,

Okay, Judge, verything's all set.

Right in here, in here.

Very well, my son.

Join your right hands.

Do you take this woman

to be your lawfully wedded wife?

I do.

Do you also take this man

to be your lawfully wedded husband?

I do.

The ring.

Repeat after me.

With this ring I thee wed.

With this ring I thee wed.

I pronounce you man and wife.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

Thanks, thanks, Judge.

Thank you very much.

You did a swell job.

Ain't you gonna kiss me?

Is it all right with you?

Certainly.

You're leaving, ain't you?

Oh, sure.

Then go ahead.

Come on, Louie, come on, boy.

We got a big nice work ahead of us.

I need you, hurry up.

Wait a minute!

Hey!

Come here, come here.

Gimme that ring, gimme that ring.

Are you gonna leave them two alone?

Don't you think we better?

They'll still be here

when we come back, come on.

Hey, listen.

We know a Justice of the Peace

over in Jersey, too, don't we?

Yeah, old Joe Clooney.

Waltz over there and get

a marriage license for Monty Barton.

Again?

Another two days and that guy will be related to everybody in town by bigamy.

Who's the dame this time?

Gladys Farrell.

Ethics!

And bring a Justice of Peace back here

with you.

Who's Gladys Farrell?

The state's star witness against

Monty Barton.

Alias Joe Rector.

Boss, I don't understand all this.

If you did it wouldn't be no good.

Now get out of here. Go on.

I knew we'd get along.

Now look, babe, listen.

Tell me, Gladys.

What would you do

for a nice little piece of change?

What wouldn't I do.

We know all about that, but this is business.

All right, so it's business.

How do I snag this dough?

By not testifying against Joe Rector.

So that's it.

Say, I'll send that hyena to the chair

and put a tack in it.

All right, all right, listen.

Suppose you do send him to the hot squat.

Does the D.A. give you anything? No.

Does the State give you anything? No.

Wouldn't you be a chump

to pass up a big hunk of dough?

In the first place I couldn't keep

from testifying against him if I wanted to.

Why not.

Because I've already given

all the dope to the D.A.

But it wouldn't stand.

The D.A couldn't make you testify

against him.

It would be against the law.

If you're Joe Rector's wife.

What? Me marry that toad?

It wouldn't have to mean anything.

I tell you no. "N" like in no, "O" like in no.

No, N-O!

All right,

Joe Rector just came into $200.000.

But the money's no object.

Hey, wait a minute.

Who'd leave that ape $200.000?

Right here. Read this.

That old dame was his aunt.

Well, I hope to lay down

and never get up.

Look, you're the state's only witness

against him.

And you save him from the electric chair.

And Monty comes in to $200.000.

And I get a big red apple.

That and half the dough.

Because in this state, half of all

community property goes to the wife.

What does my end come to net?

$100.000.

Say, for 10% of that I'd marry

King Kong.

Do you take this woman

to be your lawful wedded wife?

I do.

And do you take this man

to be your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

Gotta have a ring.

You won't think any less of me, will you,

baby, for forgetting the ring.

That's all right, when you shed your skin

send me the rattles.

Here you are.

Thanks.

Place this ring on her finger.

Always using the third finger...

and repeat what I say after me.

With this ring I thee wed.

With this ring I thee wed.

Now, in my invested office as

Justice of the Peace

I pronounce you man and wife.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Congratulations.

Congratulations.

All right, Joe.

Here's your dough. And don't forget.

Keep these out of the papers.

I'll take care of that.

All right, fine.

Well, goodbye, King Kong.

Goodbye, Mrs Barton.

Don't forget me when you send out

invitations to your funeral, will you?

I won't. Will you do something for me?

Anything you say, baby.

Lay these on your chest, babe.

Fresh putz.

Well, you can't say he doesn't come

from a nice family.

When do I collect?

As soon as I get everything

all straightened out.

I'll let you know, baby.

Okay.

I'll call you up.

All right, so long, kid.

Goodbye.

Hey, she's got my ring.

Forget it, I'll get you a new one.

Come on, this calls

for a little celebration, right, boys?

Pour yourselves a drink, go on.

Hello, Police Headquarters?

Hello, give me Lieutenant Costello.

Detective Bureau, that's it.

Hey, who are you calling.

Step on it, will ya?

Why you...

Come on, give me Detective Costello,

hurry up.

You dirty double-crosser.

Shut up, you bigamist!

Let go of me, let go of me...

How do you expect to get all that dough

if you're not acquitted?

Hello, hello...

Tell him Jimmy Corrigan

wants to speak to him, will ya?

You didn't say anything about the cops.

How do you expect to get acquitted

without a trial?

Hello, Detective Costello?

I'll get you for this.

This is Corrigan speaking.

How do you expect to be tried

if you're not caught?

Hello, Lieutenant Costello, look...

Look, I got Joe Rector here

in my apartment.

Yeah, honest I have.

You son of a..

Hurry up, boss, I'm getting dizzy.

He's here right now.

Yeah, he wants to give himself up.

What? Well, get them up.

It's the 12th floor.

Get me off this merry-go-round!

Come on right away, hurry up.

Are we sitting pretty

or are we sitting pretty?

With Corrigan in the background

I'm not so sure.

It's a walkaway.

Your colloquialisms are a bit confusing.

That's for ordinary people.

I bought three of them.

Ethics, that's me.

Ethics in a big way.

Jimmy, why did you do this?

Because of you.

What?

Yeah.

Really, Jimmy?

Yeah.

But I wanted to get your okay.

I wanted you to be proud of me.

Oh.

And think I came here to crow over you

because they scooped you on the Barton case.

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