Joe Page #2

hand. Your other right.

Your right hand.

There you go.

Put your hand up. You

got to swear on something.

Now you on

the all-star team.

- You promise to work hard?

- Yes, sir.

I don't know why Joe chose

you. You must be a good man.

First thing we do

is fill these containers up,

so we just gonna

put it in there like that.

Once we get it filled

up real good, then we on.

- What's in the poison?

- Sh*t.

Shorty's grandmas

make this in they basement.

I don't know what's in it, but

we ain't gonna worry about it.

I know it works

real good.

You thought that was easy

pumping that thing, didn't you?

I made it look easy

'cause I'm a man.

- You're a little boy - you got to

figure it out. You see what I'm saying?

There you go. See how

you figured that out?

When you become a man, you gonna

have everything figured out too.

Be careful. Now this

stuff is real poisonous

and if it gets in your eyes,

man, you're out of there.

Just ask Junior.

Now- now here you go.

- Which hand you use?

- Uh, the right.

Prime it up a little

bit, keep striking it.

If you hit it hard enough, you only

have to hit it three or four times.

Gotta get angry at the

tree, man. Get mad at it.

Yeah, I like that. Get mad

at it. Keep on working it.

Mad. Work with it, work with it!

Yes, sir. Get it!

Keep on with it,

youngster.

I like that, man.

Joe's been around, he's been

around a little bit, man.

He's got some things

up under his belt, man.

So I advise you,

when you do go to Joe,

keep it real with Joe. Don't

lie to him about nothing.

And one thing Joe is real

particular about, man-

don't never look down at the

ground. Look him in the face.

He likes to see a man's

eyes. You- one-on-one.

- That's how Joe is, man.

- Where you from?

- Everywhere.

- Everywhere?

Being a little bitty boy,

you been everywhere, huh?

Was your daddy in the

military or something?

Oh, yeah? All right. You got

a family? All right, then.

You know we ain't gonna cut you

no slack out here, don't you?

Just 'cause

you're young now,

you know we ain't

gonna cut no slack.

Everybody pull

their own load, baby.

Once we get this

filled up here,

we can kill us about a

hundred trees with this here.

Is killing trees

against the law?

Well, the

lumber company

can't cut 'em down

unless they dead,

and so the lumber

company hire us

to come in

and poison the trees

so we can kill 'em and they'll

come in and die theyself.

Yeah, I've been doing this

for a little minute now.

- Welcome to the program.

- Thanks.

The machete crew is the one that

comes through and clears it out.

Chop down at the angles.

Try to get as low

as you can.

You gotta clear the path

for your teammates.

Without you, none of

this is gonna happen.

Just keep hammering at it.

Nothing's stopping you.

You have to start out-

you'll probably be

the water man for

a little while, you know?

It's gonna look like you're

doing everything for everybody,

bringing 'em water. At the end,

you'll become a machete vet.

Samurai king,

right here.

- Waa-ah!

- Waa-ah!

Welcome to the crew.

You're the youngest.

Gotta crawl

'fore you walk.

Got a lot

of energy there.

- Hah!

- There you go.

- Samurai gods!

- Yah!

Crew! When y'all get

through this side over here,

we're going

to the west side.

All right.

Hey, Gary, you're

getting too far ahead.

Come on back here.

Help these fellas out.

You know what? You, you and

you, y'all did a good job today.

Why don't y'all

go ahead and get paid,

and I'll see y'all

Monday, all right?

Bill.

- Allan.

- Thank you, sir.

- And Gary, right?

- Yes, sir.

Gary, Gary, Gary.

Come back Monday.

Bring your daddy

if he wants to work.

Yes, sir, I will.

We'll be there.

Thanks.

Mama!

Hey, Mama,

guess what?

I got us

jobs today.

- I got a job today.

- Good for you, baby.

Dorothy!

Dorothy, guess what.

He got one. That's good.

Stop!

Sorry.

Got that a**hole put away?

Yes, Joe,

he's in the back.

That a**hole

bites me again...

Well, he's got

the devil in him.

- F*** that.

- Come on, baby.

Well, look at that. What's that?

Come here.

A Mexican game show.

That's what I'm talking about.

Can I fix you something, baby?

Coke, ice.

Here you go,

sweetie.

So what you got

the blues over, Joe?

I'm not so bad.

Want one of my girls?

You want two

of my girls?

Not today.

Today is a special day.

- It is?

- I only want your company, Merle.

- Why, thank you.

- Come here.

Mmm!

Lace!

- A**hole!

- Lacy!

Put the dog

in the back!

I got it. Come on.

I got it.

Come on.

You don't need that

thing to take care of you.

Where are you

going, Joe?

Girl, get your ass

off the floor.

Quit being stupid.

- You see who that was?

- Yes.

Was that World War I or II?

Where'd you get that hat?

- W-W-2.

- Oh, right.

Got it down there

at the Army-Navy.

Been making some money over at

Henry's house, throwing the dice.

Yeah, I know. I was gonna go

over there later, clean him out.

Maybe I'll see you there.

I've been doing pretty

good taking the money

from them old ladies that old

blind George hang out with.

Take about 60 or 70%

of my winnings

and donate it to

the diabetes research.

Then I take the rest of it

and buy war paraphernalia.

One of these days

I'm gonna be a regular GI Joe.

Pow.

Fistful of dollars!

Or something like that.

Henry.

In here, Joe!

Hey, Joe.

How you been doing?

- Who's that?

- Henry's just making a damn mess here.

- What are you trying to do, Henry?

- I don't know.

Yeah, well, I don't think

I'd cut it into a roast.

No.

You can do it

any way you want to,

but if it was mine,

I'd cut it into steaks.

Come over here and show

him how to do it, honey.

And Henry, you can

sit down there

and tell me a joke

or sing a song or something.

Sh*t, you might as well just

let Blind George cut it up.

I'm gonna sit down and have me

a cigarette in this wheelchair.

- Couldn't you, George? - I reckon

I could do better than he's doing it.

- Oh, no.

No.

All right, I'll show you

how to make the steaks.

That'd be good,

baby. I love back scrapple.

That's good.

That's enough.

Now look what

happened to the poor thing.

So much blood

on the floor.

Oh, God. Oh.

Where'd you get

this deer?

It was hung up on

the fence over at Mr. Lee's,

and Henry and I was

coming back from the IHOP,

and I took out my. 38

and shot her in the head.

Honey, you use that knife

just like an artist's brush.

I mean, you know

what you're doing, Joe.

Man, look at that.

Oh, man.

- There's some good stuff here.

That is some good stuff.

Now look here.

Man, that is pretty.

Yeah, that's how you do it.

Butterfly steak.

Wonderful.

- You see how I did that?

Now do it here,

here and here.

Y'all can cut up

the rest of it.

So, when you gonna

have another crap game?

Uh, tonight.

You wanna come by?

- What time?

- 10:
00.

We're making

a birthday cake.

Joe, you know who's gonna

make the birthday cake.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes