Joe Somebody

Hey!

Hi!

How are you?

Welcome to "Bring Your Daughter To Work

Day" here at STARKe Pharmaceutical.

Very nice. Very nice.

Home movies and, uh, family photos.

That's... nice. It's novel.

Pat, this is just a first cut,

of course. You know, it's...

So, I was wondering how next month's

Good Chemistry video is coming along.

- Um... I can have it by Thursday.

- Ooh, Pagel wants a look by Wednesday.

- Gee, Wednesday would be...

- Perfect! Gotta run!

That-that... This might be

a good time for you and I

to talk about

that promotion of mine.

Or those

basketball tickets?

All right.

We'll do it some other time.

Okay, then.

No.

Hey, let me give you a hand with this.

Just hand me your staple gun.

- The... what?

- The staple gun.

- It's right behind you.

- Oh! Staple gun.

Thank you.

You are really saving me here.

You're welcome. You know, I love

this whole "Choose Happiness" thing.

Yeah. It's, uh, based on the

classic philosophical concept

that happiness is a choice,

not a condition.

Maybe they're getting it

on a subliminal level.

It's Joe, isn't it?

Joe... Scheffer.

- Yeah.

- Meg Harper.

Hi.

You did that great video

for my department last summer.

I know...

It actually, um...

it made me cry.

Why?

Cause it was so...

- ... bad?

- No, not-not at all. Because it was so good!

Thanks.

- How have you been, Joe?

- I got a divorce, actually.

Oh. Oh!

- I'm so sorry.

- No, no. That's okay.

- You all right?

- Yeah. You know, it's-it's weird.

No, yeah, but I'm doin' great.

I stay busy.

During the week, it's all about

my daughter Natalie. She's 12.

And on weekends, schedule's totally

whacked. I work out all the time.

- Me too!

- I got concerts, plays... Uh...

I hike now.

Got some Vibram sole boots.

I do a little trekkin'.

I travel extensively.

- Well, sounds like you win.

- I dance!

- Oh.

- Yeah.

Not professionally, mind you, but

I do go to clubs with other... others.

Look, geez, Joe, get off your ass

and do something!

- I'm-I'm thinkin' about getting a pilot's license.

- I was kidding.

Oh!

I'm not gonna take lessons.

Not gonna fly. I was joking too.

Hey, um, you know what? I should

buy you an almond-spiced latte.

It's the least I can do

for helping me with this...

this whole... with the banner.

I got this work to do.

I-I should just finish my lunch.

I understand completely.

- Okay?

- Okay.

Volomin,

from STARKe Pharmaceuticals.

Making you better

than you really are.

Possible side effects may include

depression, general discomfort,

headaches, blurred or

distorted vision, loss of balance,

dry mouth, numbness,

periodontal disease, lockjaw,

tremors, heart palpitations,

varicose veins,

liver damage, kidney failure, loss

of taste, loss of smell, loss of sight,

early Alzheimer's,

cardiac arrest,

and in extremely

rare cases... death.

Volomin. Making you better

than you really are.

Daddy!

Hey, Nat!

Hi, dad!

- Yeah!

- Oh! Mmm.

Did you have fun?

Weekend from hell.

They took me to another

silly-ass hippie restaurant.

With the most absurd

one-man play ever produced.

"Silly-ass"?

- Dad!

- Just find an alternative.

Geez.

Everything on the menu

was made with curd.

Curd this, curd that.

I mean, I ordered a hamburger,

and I got a ten-minute lecture

on animal rights from the waitress.

And the guy in the play

was half naked.

- What? Which half?

- Dad!

Did you get

the T-Wolves tickets?

No, I-I-I didn't this time. You know,

the list for company tickets is real long.

- And, you know, I'm gonna get a promotion...

- Dad!

The best view

is on TV anyway.

Rick's here.

Mah, mah, mah, hah-mah.

Hah-mah, may, mee, mo, moo.

Hey! There he is.

Hah. Hah-hah-mah.

You become a farmer?

No, Joe, I'm an actor

dressed as a farmer for an audition.

Sorry.

Come on, Nat, let's go.

Hah, yah, yah, yah.

- Hey, Joe.

- Hi, Callie.

We had a great weekend.

Did she tell you about the play?

Yeah.

The actors were naked.

- So were the ushers.

- They were not!

Callie, "Beauty and the Beas"t is in town.

What's the matter with that?

Joe, we're just trying to expose

Natalie to serious theater.

- Bye, sweetie. Here's for lunch today, okay?

- Ooh-ahh.

Thanks, mom.

Oops.

I love your hair down.

So sexy.

- Stop. Really?

- So soft.

We should probably get going.

- Come on, dad.

- Bye, Joe.

- Bye.

- See you next weekend, sweetie.

We're gonna see an authentic

Indonesian dance troupe.

It's a dream come true, mom.

Dad.

Why do I have to spend

weekends with them?

Can't we just drive by

every Saturday and wave?

Your mom's a little eccentric.

Think of her as an exotic flower.

- And that made you what? Dirt?

- Nat, she's your mom.

So... let's get started on this

"Take Your Daughter to Work"thing.

I'm supposed to interview you,

and then write a report for school.

All right, let 'er rip.

Okay. Uhh...

Did you always know you wanted to be

a video communications specialist?

Actually, at first

I wanted to be Batman.

But he had no powers.

And Aquaman... I don't like water.

So Spider-Man.

That's what I always wanted to be.

- Come on, dad, this is supposed to be serious.

- Natalie, I really don't know what to say.

Um, I have a really great job.

But to be honest, it's not the job that

I've always dreamt about having.

- I thought you wanted to be a writer.

- You're the writer, okay?

Dad, I've read your play ten times. It's

amazing! How come you only wrote one?

Writing was a dream I had

when I was a kid. And then I grew up.

But dreams are important

to hold on to! Come on!

You're gonna be a great writer.

You have that special spark.

I know that, but that spark is gonna go out

unless you write. Now write this. Write, write.

Hey, watch it, ass... guy.

Nice save.

- You all right?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- What's his hurry?

- He's just a lunatic.

- It's so crowded.

- I think they manufacture people here.

Below, in the basement,

they make people.

- Look, look, look, look, look.

- Oh, wait, she's pullin' out.

- Hey! That guy's an ass-wipe!

- Natalie.

Sorry.

I meant "ass-guy".

That's Mark McKinney.

He's a seven-year employee.

Wh-wh-what's he doing

in the ten-year lot?

Maybe he's gonna stand around

for another three years.

No, he's not.

I'll be right back.

- Excuse me. Mark?

- Yeah.

Yeah... This is a...

a-a ten-year lot.

And... you're not a

ten-year associate, are you?

- You're kiddin', right?

- No.

No, no, no, this is actually

the ten-year lot.

And, uh, this is the last space,

and if I don't park here,

my... my daughter and I will have

to come way over from the west lot.

You actually brought

your daughter to work...

Yeah.

I thought only the mothers

were doin' that.

I'd just appreciate it

if you'd park someplace else.

You know

what I think, um...

- What's your name again?

- Joe Scheffer. I work in the Communication...

You know what I think, Joe? I think

walkin' from the west lot

is probably better than gettin' your ass

kicked in front of your little girl. Dont' you?

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