Joe Versus the Volcano Page #17

VOICES (O.S.)

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

160 EXT. LITTLE RAFT - DAY160

Joe and Patricia hear the cries and look at each other.

JOE:

What's that?

PATRICIA:

I think we've been spotted.

161 EXT. ISLAND - LONG STRETCH OF BEACH - DAY 161

Outrigger canoes lay along the shore. The EXCITED CRIES

of running NATIVES are heard approaching. And now we see

them. It's the Waponis! They are a motley lot, used to

the good life. They sport big orange dots on their fore

heads. They carry fruit, garlands of flowers, and cans

of Jump. They leap into their canoes and head out toward

the raft. Their eyes are enhanced with liner.

JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 3/23/8988A.

162 EXT. LITTLE RAFT - DAY162

as the canoes reach it. The leader of the welcoming

group, BAW, calls out to Joe in a formal way.

BAW:

Whooa! Are you Joe?

(CONTINUED)

JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 4/14/89 89.

162 CONTINUED: 162

JOE:

Yeah.

WELCOMING GROUP:

(impressed)

Whooa!

BAW:

Are you Joe Banks?

JOE:

Yeah.

BAW:

(to group)

Pelica beeble bum bum!

The welcoming group goes crazy, showering the little raft

with a thousand flowers. Joe and Patricia exchange a

look through the shower of flowers.

PATRICIA:

I guess they're glad to see

us.

They're both handed cans of Jump. Natives grab the pop

tops with their teeth and rip them off, smiling. Joe and

Patricia drink from the cans of Jump. All the natives

cheer. Then hands reach out and pull them gently off

their raft and into the canoes. Another canoe's

occupants get a grass rope and tie it to the raft. Now

we see:

163 WHOLE FLOTILLA OF CANOES - DAY 163

Joe and Patricia, and the whole welcoming group, covered

with flowers and drinking Jump, head for the island. With

the raft of trunks in tow. The welcoming group, led by

Baw, sing a Polynesian "Song of Happiness."

164 EXT. SHORE OF ISLAND - DAY 164

as the canoes arrive. Upon reaching the shore, Joe and

Patricia are hoisted onto the shoulders of the natives

and carried inland. Then we see other natives hoisting

the trunks onto their shoulders and following.

Everybody's singing.

164A EXT. SHORE OF ISLAND - DAY164A

Two guys hoisting an enormous spool of homemade red

carpet on a wooden yoke lead the way into the jungle

providing the "Red Carpet Treatment."

JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 4/14/8989A.

164B EXT. STRETCH OF JUNGLE - DAY 164B

The red carpet unrollers run through a stretch of Jungle.

Through a thin veil of greenery we see unrollers pass by

us on a jungle path. After a second they are followed by

Joe and Patricia and the full happy entourage.

165 EXT. CENTER OF VILLAGE - DAY 165

Exhausted, our carpet men, their spindle all but spent,

stumble into the village's center. Their carpet reaches

its tail. They drop to the ground, gasping and proud.

The welcoming group arrives with Patricia and Joe and the

whole village turns out and goes nuts. Some of them

carry ducks.

(CONTINUED)

JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 4/14/89 90.

165 CONTINUED: 165

Then from the biggest hut emerges the CHIEF. Instantly,

everything stops and all the natives are lying face down

on the ground, utterly silent. Only Joe and Patricia are

left standing to face the Chief. The Chief is a big,

impressive man with grey hair and in totally traditional

native costume. Most of the other natives have some

element of Western dress about their person. The Chief

has a sad, rich voice, a voice full of memory and

knowledge. He holds a tiki teddy bear. It has atrophied

little arms and legs; its hair is standing on end.

JOE:

What is that? A teddy bear?

CHIEF:

No. It is my soul.

JOE:

I hope you don't lose it.

CHIEF:

So do I. I am Tobi. Chief.

JOE:

This is Patricia Graynamore.

I'm Joe Banks. You speak

English.

CHIEF:

I have learned. You have come

to stop the anger of the Woo?

The Chief points upward. Joe looks where he points.

166 FROM JOE'S POV - VOLCANO (BIG WOO) - DAY 166

Smoke issues from the mouth of the Big Woo steadily.

167 JOE 167

looks away from the volcano. He looks into the eyes of

the chief.

JOE:

Yes.

CHIEF:

There was worry that you would

not come. You were to come

before this.

JOE:

Well. I'm here now.

(CONTINUED)

JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 4/14/8990A.

167 CONTINUED: (A1) 167

The Chief nods sadly. He looks at Patricia.

CHIEF:

You're with him?

PATRICIA:

Yes.

The Chief nods sadly.

(CONTINUED)

91.

l67 CONTINUED 167

CHIEF:

Tonight, we will have a big

feast. And then, at the end of

the feast, we will climb to

the top of the Big Woo, and

you will jump in. Okay?

JOE:

Okay.

CHIEF:

The women will take this woman

and make her clean for the

feast.

(shouts to the native

women)

Pelica! Pelica!

The native women rise quickly to their feet, giggling and

excited, and make off with Patricia. She calls out as

she's taken.

PATRICIA:

Joe!

JOE:

Patricia! Is she gonna be

Alright?

The Chief nods wearily.

CHIEF:

And the men will take you and

make you right for the feast.

(shouts to the native

men)

Oliva! Oliva!

The native men leap up with a shout, seize Joe, and carry

him off. Other native men follow, carrying the trunks.

The Chief, weary, heads back inside his hut.

168 EXT. CLEARING - DAY 168

which has been set up to clean Joe. What can only be

described as a giant bassinet made out of beautiful, soft

greenery has been set up in the clearing, along with many

coconut bowls. Into this a violently protesting Joe,

stark naked, is being pressed by the laughing native men.

They dump many bowls of water over him while he

desperately tries to hide his genitals, first with his

hands, and then by turning face down in the bassinet.

Then the men take mounds of fresh fruit that has been cut

up and rub it into Joe's flesh. Then six of the native

men produce big shining fish.

(CONTINUED)

JOE VERSUS THE VOLCANO - Rev. 4/14/89 92.

168 CONTINUED: 168

They hold these fish by the tails. Other men hold Joe

still. Then the men rhythmically beat Joe with the fish.

They hum to keep time. They are giving him a massage. At

first he reacts by screaming, but then he starts to

groan, as one does from an important massage.

168A EXT. CLEARING - DAY 168A

One of the natives holds forward a tray covered with a

thin blue material. Joe looks at it with interest. The

native gently, physically closes Joe's eyes, then blows

the contents of the tray, a thin, bright blue powder

directly into Joe's face. Joe opens his eyes, a wiser

man. They lick the powder off his face.

169 EXT. CLEARING - DAY (WHILE LATER)

They are dousing Joe with water again, only he's sitting

up now, eating a piece of fruit. Emo, the lookout,

offers him a Jump, but Joe shakes his head. Emo looks

amazed and comments to the others in a low voice, in

another language. Their reply to Emo's comment is a low

Whoa!; they are incredulous. Then they go back to

dousing Joe. He likes this treatment by now. Then a

look of concern passes over his face and he looks down.

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