Joe Versus the Volcano Page #3

ELLISON:

There's a black fog of tissue

running right down the center

of your brain. It's very

rare. It will spread at a

regular rate. It's very

destructive.

JOE:

And it's incurable.

ELLISON:

Yes.

JOE:

How long?

ELLISON:

Six months. You can pretty

much count on it being about

that. It's not painful. Your

brain will simply fail.

Followed abruptly by your

body. You can depend on at

least four and half or five

months of perfect health.

(CONTINUED)

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JOE:

But what are you talking

about, Doctor? I don't feel

good right now.

ELLISON:

That's the ironic part,

really. Mr. Banks, you're a

hypochondriac. There's nothing

wrong with you that has

anything to do with your

symptoms. My guess is your

experiences in the Fire

Department were extremely

traumatic. You experienced

the imminent possibility of

death. Several times?

(as Joe nods numbly)

You survived. But the

cumulative anxiety of those

brushes with death left you

habitually fearful. About your

physical person.

JOE:

I'm not sick? Except for this

terminal disease?

ELLISON:

Which has no symptoms. That's

right. It was only because of

your insistence on having so

many tests that we happened to

discover the problem.

Joe laughs, a little maniacally, then stops abruptly.

JOE:

What am I going to do?

ELLISON:

Well, if you have any savings

you might think about taking a

trip, a vacation?

JOE:

I don't have any savings. A

few hundred bucks. I've spent

everything on doctors.

ELLISON:

Yes. Perhaps you'll want a

second opinion?

JOE:

A brain cloud. I knew it.

Well, I didn't know it, but I

knew it.

(CONTINUED)

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ELLISON:

Yes.

JOE:

What am I going to do?

ELLISON:

You have some time left, Mr.

Banks. You have some life

left. My advice to you is:

Live it well.

JOE:

I've got to go. I'm on my

lunch hour which is over.

Joe gets up and Ellison follows suit, putting out his

hand.

ELLISON:

I'm sorry for what I had to

tell you. I wish the news had

been better.

Joe doesn't take his hand.

JOE:

Yeah .

Joe leaves. Ellison starts to sit down. Joe comes back

in.

JOE:

I'm sorry I didn't shake your

hand.

Joe takes the doctor's hand and shakes it. Then he drops

it and exits abruptly. Ellison sits there a moment, not

moving. Then he opens a drawer in his desk and takes out

a flask. He pours himself a drink and begins to drink

it.

7 EXT. MEDICAL LEAGUE BUILDING - DAY7

This is the building Ellison's office is in. Joe's car

is parked out front. Joe comes slowly out. It's still

overcast, but lighter and dryer than it was earlier. As

Joe walks down the steps, an elderly woman approaches

with her dog, Molly, a mutt. Joe sees the dog and stops,

fixed on it. He pats the dog on the head. The elderly

woman thinks this is nice.

Then Joe embraces the dog, and kneeling down, hugs it

intensely. The elderly woman is alarmed and pulls the

dog away. Joe looks after them.

(CONTINUED)

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Then he gets in his car, which is beat-up and beige.

Drives off.

8 EXT. AMERICAN PANASCOPE CORPORATION PARKING LOT - DAY8

Joe drives INTO FRAME. He gets out and we FOLLOW him as

he approaches the GUARD at the gate. The Guard nods him

in. He starts to walk past. Then he goes back to the

Guard.

JOE:

What's your name?

GUARD:

Fred.

JOE:

Fred.

He thinks that over and then goes on his way.

9 INT. PANASCOPE BUILDING - DAY9

Joe standing outside the door marked Advertising Dept. He

is thoughtful. He goes in.

10INT. ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT - DAY 10

Joe comes in. Dede is typing away. Mr. Waturi is on the

phone. Joe hangs up his coat. He misses with the hat

again because of Dede's typing. He leans over and

switches the typewriter off. Then he picks up his hat,

dusts it off and throws it in the garbage can.

WATURI:

(on phone)

No. No. You were wrong. He

was wrong. Who said that? I

didn't say that. If I had

said that, I would've been

wrong. I would've been wrong,

Harry, isn't that right?

Mr. Waturi's attention is split between his call and Joe,

who is walking around the office like a tourist.

WATURI:

Listen, let me call you back,

I've got something here, okay?

And don't tell him anything

till we finish our

conversation, okay?

(CONTINUED)

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Mr. Waturi hangs up the phone. Joe is looking at the

coffee set-up.

WATURI:

Joe?

JOE:

Yeah?

WATURI:

You were at lunch three hours.

JOE:

About that.

Joe wanders away, into his office. Waturi looks after.

11INT. JOE'S OFFICE - DAY11

Joe is staring at the big wheel valve sporting the sign

that says Main Drain. Mr. Waturi comes in as Joe moves

forward and, with great effort, rotates the wheel to its

opposite extreme. This scares Waturi.

WATURI:

Joe, what are you doing?

JOE:

I'm opening, or closing, the

main drain.

Nothing happens.

WATURI:

You shouldn't be touching

that.

JOE:

Nothing happened. Do you know

how long I've been wondering

what would happen if I did

that?

WATURI:

What's the matter with you?

JOE:

Brain cloud.

WATURI:

What?

JOE:

Never mind. Listen, Mr.

Waturi. Frank. I quit.

(CONTINUED)

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Joe starts to take some stuff out of his desk. He looks

at his lamp, gets the cord, plugs it in, and turns it on.

WATURI:

You mean, today?

JOE:

That's right.

WATURI:

That's great. Well, don't

come looking for a reference.

JOE:

Okay, I won't.

WATURI:

You blew this job.

Joe takes in the little room.

JOE:

I've been here for four and a

half years. The work I did I

probably could've done in

five, six months. That leaves

four years leftover.

He's been filling up a shopping bag with stuff from his

desk:
three books (Romeo and Juliet, Robinson Crusoe and

The Odyssey), an old ukulele and his lamp. Now he's

finished. He walks out of the room without even looking

at Waturi. Waturi goes after him as he exits.

12INT. ADVERTISING DEPARTMENT - DAY12

Joe is walking towards the front door. Waturi follows

him in. Joe stops at Dede's desk. She's typing. He

looks at her. She stops typing.

JOE:

Four years. If I had them

now. Like gold in my hand.

Here. This is for you.

(gives Dede the lamp)

'Bye-bye, Dede.

DEDE:

You're going?

WATURI:

Well, if you're leaving,

leave.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

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WATURI (CONT'D)

You'll get your check. And, I

promise you, you'll be easy to

replace.

JOE:

I should say something.

WATURI:

What are you talking about?

JOE:

This life. Life? What a

joke. This situation This

room.

WATURI:

Joe, maybe you should just...

JOE:

You look terrible, Mr. Waturi.

You look like a bag of sh*t

stuffed inna cheap suit. Not

that anyone would look good

under these zombie lights. I

can feel them sucking the

juice outta my eyeballs. Three

hundred bucks a week, that's

the news. For three hundred

bucks a week I've lived in

this sink. This used rubber.

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