Jonah Lives

1

[BEEPS]

[MAN BREATHING HARD]

[INDISTINCT MUTTERINGS]

[WIND HOWLING]

This isn't funny, you guys!

[SOUNDS OF VARIOUS ANIMALS]

Stop it!

Stop it!

[MAN SCREAMS]

[WIND HOWLING SOFTLY]

[GRUNTS]

[INDISTINCT MUTTERINGS]

MAN:
Jesus!

God!

[SQUEAL OF AN ANIMAL]

[A LOW HAUNTING SCREAM]

Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!

Jesus! Jesus!

[MAN PANTING]

Guys?

Lydia?

Lydia!

[DOUBLE IN-SYNC LAUGHS]

[THUNDER AND LIGHTENING]

[INDISTINCT GHOST-LIKE VOICE]

[CRUSHING OF LEAVES]

MAN:
Trick playing, my friend.

[MOCK TONE]

Oh, I'm so scared.

I'm so cared.

LYDIA:
But, the saddest part

was how sad.

Remember when they

ripped their hands apart?

Did you see how close they were?

BARBARA:
I don't know. It's not

like they have the capacity

Their whole world

is crashing around them.

Whoo!

Hurry it up, Francis.

Come where I can see. Come on.

Hoick! Lateral! Lateral!

Get him!

All right, all right, all right.

You know I'm your supreme

confidant in all things?

You know you can

tell me anything, right?

I'm so sick of Francis.

Is that why you haven't

been talking much about

you guys, lately?

[SIGHS]

There's nothing to talk about.

I mean, we're together

every waking hour.

[SIGHS]

I just sort of run out of things

for us to talk about us.

That's all.

Well, you just really haven't

been saying that much, lately.

You're not like you used.

You know you can tell me.

Tell you what?

You know.

No.

I mean, I don't know.

What have you been hearing?

Girl, I don't need to hear.

I can tell,

just by the way

you're sick of him.

Mo ho.

Hoick.

Get him!

Never mind the false sh*t,

all right.

Game's not over by a long shot.

Just stay positive.

We're gonna win this game.

The whole object

is to get it to us, Jessie.

- God, all right.

- Tony.

Stand still.

One Mississippi,

two Mississippi,

three Mississippi, four

Mississippi, five Mississippi.

Is that all you've got?

Come on, let it out.

Annes?

Come on.

[CLAPS]

[SINGING]

You're runnin' on empty!

One more time.

Two more down till it's over.

Jessie!

How did you know?

The girl's got her way.

Just make sure

he uses the rubber,

no matter how much

piece of sh*t says not to.

"Wrap up the sausage",

my mama always said.

You wouldn't want

to start aborting at our age.

God, Lydia! Do you really

have to be so blunt?

How else are you gonna

put something like that?

Just remember the protection

and you wouldn't have to worry.

Unless, you're me and...

...you're boyfriend doesn't

believe in pre-marital sex.

LYDIA:

He doesn't believe in sex.

BARBARA:

Oh ho ho!

Oh ho ho!

But, blowj*bs

are perfectly fine.

Any hour of the day or night.

Thanks for sharing.

Don't tell me you don't go down.

Just whatever.

Just promise me

you won't tell my mom.

Swear?

Swear.

Cross my heart...

Looks like the game

is finally over.

And, they are arguing again.

Doesn't look like

Francis' magic works.

It's freezing, let's

go out of here.

Yeah.

Come on guys, let's go.

It's cold, let's go.

Let's go Tony, it's cold.

TONY:
Relax!

Take your time guys,

take your time.

Tony!

[LYDIA GIGGLING]

What's that for, Barb?

Are you saying god couldn't

afford the rent,

so they tossed him out?

[SOME FRIENDS LAUGH]

Welcome to the 21st century.

Guys, I used to go

to this church with my mom.

I was in my last year

of Sunday school,

until they closed it down.

I remember that. You even learned

all the prayers and stuff.

Oh, yeah, I was an angel, right?

Come on, Barb.

We don't need god anymore.

We didn't leave god today.

- That's right.

- Screw ya.

[HIP HOP MUSIC]

Yo!

[EVERYONE EXPRESSING AWE]

What you guys up to tonight?

Going down that basement?

It's Friday night, man.

That's what we do.

JOHNNY:
Hey, man, you coming

down, tonight or what?

[INDISTINCT WORDS]

We'll see, man.

You guys gonna be

down there late?

Be down there all night.

It'll be a wild night.

A wild night?

I think I've heard it all.

ALL:
Whoa!

Look at that.

Hey, look, you still get us

for better or worse.

Looks like it's gonna rain.

Let's get out of here.

[THUNDER]

[BAD RADIO]

Can't get sh*t on the radio.

Has to be the weather.

It is, most definitely.

I'm so bored.

Where's your mom?

Out with her boyfriend.

Look at Tony. I hope he loses.

Actually, no.

Then he'll be miserable.

Francis seems to win

at everything.

Francis sucks, lately, huh.

Yeah, he does. He's, uh...

...he has a really bad attitude.

- Why?

- Every single day.

I don't know.

Whenever I try to talk to him,

he's always grumpy

about something.

He's like a miserable person.

Yeah.

And, I should be the grumpy one.

We don't have that problem.

He likes to do other stuff?

[LYDIA LAUGHS]

Unfortunately.

I don't know.

My mum doesn't know

- about any of this stuff. So...

- Yeah.

- Here's your dollar.

- LYDIA:
She'd kill you...

She'll freak out. Yeah.

Oh, my god.

- I'm so bored.

- I'm out.

- Got sh*t, right?

- TONY:
No.

I get a royal flush.

No sh*t I got sh*t.

If I had some...

[LYDIA LOUDLY SIGHS]

We should have

just gone home before.

What's the matter

with you guys, tonight?

So what if it's raining out there?

It's not raining in here.

No, it's raining down here,

all right.

It's raining boring.

Oh, boo-hoo!

Honey's already bored.

You can always call cab

if you wanna go home.

You've got a couple of bucks,

right Barb?

- Yeah, couple.

- Cab drivers give me the creeps.

They all look like

psychos to me.

I know right. Either

too skinny or too fat

- It's disgusting, right?

- Or the biggest geeks ever.

Not a normal one

in the bunch, you know.

Too bad my mother went out

with her boyfriend tonight.

She wouldn't have mind

picking us up.

What's the matter

with you guys, tonight?

Not getting enough attention

from the boys.

It's not even eight and we are

staying late tonight.

I don't get it,

no f***ing service down here.

We never get service down here.

Shut up, Lydia.

This is boring. Every week

we get the same thing.

This is always what

you guys want to do.

You guys don't even consider

what we want to do.

Is it time for that

when we're alone?

Ugh!

This is not what

I'm talking about, believe me.

JOHNNY:

I'm outta this one.

You got chit right?

Ladies and gentlemen, let me

introduce Christopher Columbus.

World famous discoverer.

You stupid bastard.

Well, I got three aces.

You guys are not even

listening to us.

Jesus! All you ever wanna do

is play poker

or your f***ing balls.

Can we do something

we all can enjoy, for once?

I got it!

Let's play strip poker.

I'm in.

You guys will be

f***ing cheating

and me and Barb will be naked

in half hour.

Damn right.

JESSIE:

Yeah, baby! Strip poker.

Poker! Poker!

Get it? Hope you're upset

you're gonna play strip poker.

Strip poker, your ass.

Easy killer.

We don't wanna play cards.

How about some truth or dare?

That'll be fun guys, right?

We can all get into that.

That's fun.

That's lame.

How are we gonna know

who's telling the truth?

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