Joseph Andrews Page #6

fraternally intervened!

Who?

They're incestuated!

Mon Dieu, who is what?

Well, they're intermangled,

relatively.

What?

Fanny and Joseph.

Slipslop, I swear,

I don't know

what you're talking about!

They're brother and sister!

I can't understand why

you are so miserable.

I would be overjoyed to find

I had a new sister.

Positively boulevers.

Well, I find it

all rather novel.

Doubtless, I shall learn

to love her deeply... in time.

If platonic love it has to be,

that, too, has its reward.

Speak for yourself, Mr. Adams.

Don't you dare, sir!

I bruise as

easily as a peach!

Gentlemen, gentlemen.

There is enough

confusion already.

I pray, calm yourselves.

'Tis time, I think, for bed.

Your room is along here,

Mr. Adams.

Thank you.

Fanny, I will come

to you at daybreak,

and we will walk together.

And pledge ourselves,

if this fearful news be true,

never to see

each other again.

Good night.

No, young lady, no.

Your chamber is in here.

This way.

Sweet dreams.

Fanny?

My angel,

I have come to inform you

I have discovered

the falsehood of the story.

I am your brother no longer,

but your lover,

as before.

Slipslop! Oh!

My dear Mr. Didapper,

you know what

my philanthropy is, don't you?

No, Madame.

"A bird in the hand

is worth two in the bush."

God, bless my soul!

No!

I can guarantee

you'll be highly pleased.

No, I-I...

Rape!

Unhand that young lady, sir!

Don't call me sir, sir!

You weirdest of men!

How dare you use my house

for your debaucheries!

My lady.

And my own woman

for the object

of your bestiality.

I ca... I can, I can explain

everything.

Back to your room, sir.

Vite, vitement!

Slipslop!

You viper!

Would your frustrate my scheme?

Would you be joined by Joseph?

Come in, whoever you are.

Ah!

A man!

How came you into my bed?

How came you into mine?

How came the two

of you together?

Mr. Wilson.

What brings him here?

I told you, sir,

I would visit you,

and I found my excuse.

I met Mr. and Mrs.

Andrews lost on the way

and insisted on

accompanying them.

Joseph!

Steady, boy... ha, ha!

Hello.

My son!

Forgive us if your reception

is not as hospitable

as you deserve,

but you come at a strange time.

Mother.

It reminds me, indeed,

of that tale

you told me

of the loss of your son.

Tell us, son,

why have we been sent for?

You will soon

hear, Father.

Let us go in

and see Lady Booby.

Let us go in.

Ah...

My lady, my I present

Mr. Wilson.

Belle.

Do I know you, sir?

I do not answer to that name.

But...

all those years ago in London.

Sir, I'm Lady Booby now.

All that is past is past.

Enough of this tittle-tattle

of days gone by.

'Tis the present

we wish to settle.

Uh, Mr. Adams,

have they arrived?

Uh, they... uh, yes, my lady.

They, uh, they're all...

Gaffa and Gammer Andrews,

you have a child

more than you know of.

This girl

is your daughter, stolen

away by the gypsies.

Stuff and rubbish, Your Honor.

I've had no daughter

stolen by the gypsies.

No, none other than

Pamela and Joseph.

Tell your story, peddler.

No. No, wait.

It's true.

- True?

- I must speak the truth.

You remember when you went off

to the wars?

The gypsies had changed

the babes.

I suppose they thought

they could

never sell the boy.

It was so ailing.

The little baby was so piteous,

I took it up and suckled it.

I thought

if I looked after it,

God would restore our daughter.

As true as I'm alive, I loved

that boy as if he were my own.

I never told you,

my dear,

for fear you did not

love him as your own.

But Joseph was

the sweetest little boy.

His skin as white as milk.

Not a blemish...

'cept for one dear little

birthmark on his arm

in the form

of a strawberry.

A strawberry?

Your shirt, sir.

Open your shirt.

My son.

Our son.

What f***in' next?

Mm. Mm!

With this ring, I thee wed.

With my body I thee worship.

And all my...

Worldly goods.

Worldly goods

I with thee share.

In the name of the Father

and the Son and the Holy Ghost.

Amen.

O, Eternal God, creator

and preserver of all mankind,

give them your warm spiritual

grace all for everlasting life,

send thy blessing upon these,

thy servants.

The bride is abed.

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