Joshy Page #11

- Eric:
Let's play the game.

All right, okay.

Here.

You want a tissue?

Yeah. Looks used.

No. This is actually

Adam's, um, handkerchief

that his grandfather

gave him in the war.

- Oh?

- And I spit my gum

in it earlier,

- but it should be fine.

- Spitting his gum in it

is a euphemism

for using

his grandfather's

handkerchief

as a cum rag.

I got this problem.

I keep coming in my

grandfather's handkerchief.

I don't know what to do.

You gotta help me.

So, Joshua has just

rolled three ones,

which means that

we have been defeated

by the turtlesaurus.

However, the mechas

will stay strong.

- Hey, Ari?

- Hmm?

What we doing here, bud?

We're all waiting for--

to sign off before

we launch the attack.

That's very good.

You're half paying

attention,

- but I like that.

- Good. I'll be right back.

- Okay.

- This is why

the grilled cheese is so good.

This is what

i did into it.

Uh, uh, uh!

- Hi.

- Greg:
Sh*t!

- Hey, man.

- Thanks for coming.

- Oh, yeah.

- Greg:
What did I do?

Eric:

Hey, it's Jodi

from the bar!

- Jodi.

- That's right.

Just to catch you up,

there's been an alien

invasion.

We are the mechas.

We are the machines.

We are fighting

all these monsters.

If the monsters

continue to rise up,

specifically

the turtlesaurus,

- we're f***ed.

- Great.

- I love that kind of stuff.

- Eric:
The turtlesaurus

has been a real

problemsaurus for us.

We're hoping for

a core turbo charger.

Did you say

the turtlesaurus

has been

the problemsaurus?

- It's been a problem for us.

- I'm gonna focus

on defeating

the turtlesaurus.

- Ari:
Yeah!

- Eric:
Yeah!

Tell me

something good!

I'll use my charge bomb.

I'll use that on

my next turn.

Greg:

Should I bust out

a charge bomb?

Ari:

I don't know

if you have one.

We just needed

to have enough

in order to dislodge

the space flicker

- and all to team up against--

- you should, in fact,

use that charge bomb

because I'd love to move

at least three or four hexes

'cause this turtlesaurus

is coming out of the side.

I think that

I'm gonna probably

take a break

from my marriage.

Greg:
Oh.

Okay, Eric.

I shouldn't be married.

There's no reason.

I don't wear a ring.

I've been flirting

with women all weekend.

I wanna f*** other people.

So I shouldn't be married.

So, uh, can I roll?

Great.

Pass me the die.

It's been a--

there's a lot going on.

You guys are

a hot group, you know?

15!

Yes!

Jodi:
He's not gonna get

anything above an eight.

Both:
Ee!

If I meant to do

half of the things

that I did,

I'd be

a f***ing genius, man.

- Jodi:
Cool.

- I'd be huge,

but I am what I am,

and that's all that I am.

I'm fine.

And I'll take

gen highway...

- Eric:
Jen?

- Greg:
Jen?

- Eric:
Jennifer.

- Greg:
Jennifer!

It's not Jennifer.

It's-- it's short

for Genesis.

- It's a man.

- Jennifer is a regular

basic b*tch, aren't you?

It's not a woman,

and don't call me Jen.

- Call me highway.

- Eric:
Okay, highway.

Thank you so much

for coming.

- Eric:
We're finally

playing the game...

- Oh, you're so welcome.

- You're not feeling...

- Adam:
This doesn't

seem really...

- What?

- ...Weird or anything?

- You're feeling weird.

- I'm feeling very weird.

- Yeah, it's cool.

- Okay.

It's okay.

I wouldn't have come

if I didn't want to.

- Oh!

- Greg:
Oh, yes!

- Whoa!

- Greg:

F***, yeah, Jodi.

Okay, guys.

The game basically

comes down to this roll.

Jodi, we need

at least a 17

or the game is over.

Turtlesaurus

is victorious,

eats us, and then hides us

under his mutant shell.

17 is pretty hard.

It's, uh--

out of three dice,

that's only two in 18,

one in nine chance.

I want victory

right now.

This turtlesaurus

is not gonna get

into my life,

not tonight.

Ready?

Here we go.

Come on, Jodi.

- - And?

- All:
Oh.

- F***!

Jodi:

I'm so sorry. Sh*t!

Sh*t, man!

We played-- oh,

we've been playing

this f***ing thing all night

and that happens?

Goddamn it!

- F*** you! F*** you!

- Hey, Greg, Greg, Greg.

Well, since

it's mostly, um,

like, ruined,

i think I should go.

I'm okay.

I just had to let it out.

Goodbye, gentlemen.

- Eric:
Bye, Jodi

from the game!

- Bye!

Sorry that

i lost the game.

You know, it's a hard thing

to fight a bunch of robots.

- You did good.

- No, it's okay.

- It's not okay.

I know I could...

- You're embarrassing me.

- You're embarrassing.

- We'll talk about it

in the hall.

- Josh:
See you later, turd!

- Bye, joshy.

- Josh:
Bye.

- Greg:
Bye, Jodi!

- Bye, guys. Cool weekend.

- Greg:
Jodi, I'm on your side.

- Whatever, Greg.

- Eric:
I would still argue

that mafia is

the best board game.

Yeah, well, mafia

is not a board game.

There's no board.

There's just sort of...

- Okay. Well, then, uh...

- ...Social fun

and nonsense game.

Well, good game,

a**hole.

- Good game, sore loser.

- Yeah.

Yeah, i--

okay.

No, I'm sorry.

That is confusing.

Yeah.

And whoa!

Okay, yeah.

Okay, okay.

All right.

- Hey, Joshua.

- Thanks for coming, man.

I gotta say, Eric,

this was

a really fun weekend.

Thank you.

- Greg?

- Hey, I'm here.

Be in touch,

we'll get something planned.

I'm gonna plan a game weekend

with you, buddy.

- Let's do it,

a whole tournament.

- I love games now.

- It's your new thing.

- Yeah, so fun.

There's a lot

of great literature

about them online.

Very critical

community, so...

- Hey.

- You, too, Adam.

- Yeah.

- You, too.

- Eric:
Come back.

Come back

and hang out.

- Sure, yeah,

I'd love to.

- Okay.

- I'd love to.

- Thanks.

Greg:

I'll probably never

see you guys ever again,

but that doesn't

take away from the fact

that this has been

one of the most important

weekends

of my entire life.

And I thank you.

I thank you for that.

I don't know if

you guys knew this,

but Greg was

a bit of a mess

before he got here.

- Ha.

- Okay.

- Okay.

- See you, man.

- Josh:
Bye.

- Bye, guys.

Hey, guys?

Positive vibes,

positive energy!

Positive vibes,

positive energy.

- You ready?

- Yeah.

Okay.

I'm gonna take off

as well.

Sure, man.

I'll see you.

- Thanks for coming.

- Yeah, of course, buddy.

- Bye.

- See you.

Ari:

Take it easy, man.

It was good

to see you.

Yeah.

Thanks for coming, man.

Sure. I would--

I would come again.

I will--

i will always be coming.

- Coming 24 hours a day.

- I can't stop coming.

- All right.

- Uh...

- Yeah. Okay.

- Yeah?

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