Josie Page #2

---

Anyway, let's get this

work out of the way.

[relaxed country music]

When the moonlight

turns the ocean blue to silver

And my dreams...

Boo!

[laughing] Oh, god!

You gonna let me in, or am

I gonna have to boot you, man?

Wow, you let a little girl

frighten you like that?

What kind of

guard are you?

Well, I didn't see you and

you shouldn't be sneaking

up on people

like that anyway.

Oh, relax. It was funny.

Ooh, wow!

What are you doing

out here anyway?

Shouldn't you be in class?

I came to say hey!

Marcus told me you

worked out here.

Yeah, we got paired up on

a thing on my first day.

It's nice to have a

friend or two already.

Yeah, Marcus.

He's something.

What, you don't like him?

He ain't never been,

let's say, cooperative.

Well, I like him just fine.

So, this is a day

in the office.

Yeah.

Well, could be worse.

It's nice to get to

listen to country music

all afternoon.

You like country?

Of course.

Just the real

stuff, though.

My pop left behind a bunch

of records and my mama

would always play

Carters, Merle, Willy.

Stuff like that.

Say, that's the best.

Your daddy wasn't around

when you was growing up?

Mm, nah, just

me and my mom.

So that drawl.

Texas?

-Yes!

-You got me.

Where you from?

Here and there.

Lived a bunch of places.

Never been to

Texas though.

Yeah, it's a nice place.

So, besides sitting in

this truck all day keeping

all us kids in line, what

else do you do, Hank?

Not a whole lot.

I got these, uh, I got

these tortoises I take care of.

I-I built them a little

home out on my patio.

Really?

That's kind of cool.

And I got this little

drifter too I keep tied up

over at Lake Henry.

I spend most of my

mornings out there in the

quiet, trying

to catch supper.

It's pretty peaceful.

That sounds nice.

I always loved to fish.

Well, we'll have to get you

out there one day.

I'd like that.

Heh.

Hey, are you going to the

Joiner's cookout this weekend?

Cookout?

Yeah, to celebrate

Memorial Day.

Oh, yeah right, uh...

I g.. I...

Yeah, we'll see.

You should come. It'll be fun.

Yeah maybe I,

maybe I will. Maybe I will.

Alright, well, you enjoy

the rest of your day doing

whatever it is

you do out here.

[rock music]

I remember

When we met

I remember

-Romero!

-Hey!

A drink for you, enjoy.

Gracias!

And for you, my

dear, a virgin drink.

Oh, come on.

It's just for liability.

There's hooch in there.

In country, yeah, about

a month before the Tet began.

A group of us were in our

bunks, playing cards,

drinking whiskey, trying

to forget that we're not

home for Christmas, and

some of the guys are

And you know me, we're

going to lighten the mood,

So I look over at the bluest

son of a b*tch in the room.

And I go "Hey

Jimmy, Jesus!

Don't look so sad, there

is no way Santa's gonna

thaw his pecker in time

to nail your wife!"

[laughing]

-Yeah.

-That never gets old.

They got a laugh out of that.

Except, of course, Jimmy.

Poor bastard got his legs

blown off a few days later.

Wow...

To Jimmy!

-Yeah, to Jimmy.

-To Jimmy!

Who needs

another cold one?

I'll take one

too, Mrs. Joiner.

Well slap my ass

and call me Sally!

Hanky Panky at a

social gathering!

I uh, I hope y'all don't

mind me dropping by.

-No!

-No, of course not!

We're glad you could

make it for once.

Come on, you.

Take it easy.

Relax for a while, okay?

Hey Hank.

Hey Josie.

It's nice to see you here.

Joiners said you never

show to these things.

Sometimes, I guess.

Well, I'm glad you did because I

have a surprise for you.

Alright.

What is it?

What do you mean

"what is it?"

What's it look like?

I dunno, some sort

of stadium, I guess.

Hell yes it is.

A turtle racing stadium.

Where'd you get it?

I made it.

No sh*t?

Well what the hell

are you waiting for?

Go get those suckers.

(Gordon) Come on, you

lazy son of a b*tch!

I put good money on you!

What'd I tell you about

gambling, Gordon?

Oh will you

shut up, Martha?

Hank, did you give

me a defective one?

The f***ing

thing won't move!

Go!

You picked him.

C'mon Francine. Keep moving.

There you go sweetheart.

There you go,

look at this.

Alright... This turtle.

This turtle is

a Goddamn idiot!

Oh, who's gonna win?

-Here we go.

-Neville!

Turn around!

What are you doing?

What are you doing?

This turtle is

a f***ing idiot!

It's over, it's over!

Everyone knows the female

tortoise is the fastest.

No one asked you.

And the winner of the

first annual Pink Motel

Memorial Day Turtle Race is

Hank and his tortoise Francine.

[cheering]

[group chanting]

Francine! Francine! Francine!

I never raced 'em before.

I had no idea

they'd do it.

Yeah, well they didn't

have to do much.

Just go toward some food.

Yeah, but with all the

hootin' and hollerin' I

thought they

might get scared.

Well, Gordy's did but that's

just because of his cussing.

Listen, this race

was clearly rigged.

-Hanky Panky here...

-Please don't call me that.

Huh?

Please don't call

me Hanky Panky.

I can't stand it.

Oh for Christ's sakes, why

didn't you say so earlier.

(Marcus' voice) Hey, Josie!

Oh, I think that's for me.

Alright, I'm off.

Thank you so much Martha

and Gordy, I had a

Oh, you're more than

welcome, sweetheart.

What, a-are you sure

you have to leave?

(Gator) She's talking

to that f***in' weirdo.

We can go and get some,

some ice cream or something.

Oh Hank, let her go

with her friends.

She's been with the

grown ups long enough.

Y'all have a nice night.

Thanks again.

Alright, g'night!

She's a sweet girl.

Mm.

Yeah, she is.

Yeah, she is, she's...

She's the, uh, kind of

girl that could make a

grown man have to go

around and knock on all

the doors in the

neighborhood, if you know

what I'm saying.

You don't have to specify,

so they don't know if, uh,

if you were touching the

no-no zone on some little

kid or doing

the [wet noise]

with some hottie who

could've been 18, but uh...

Wasn't.

Either way, well it's..

it's not a good look.

Alright, Mr. and

Mrs. Joiner.

Thank you.

I really enjoyed myself.

Thanks for

coming by, Hank.

Make a habit of it.

Good night, Hank.

God bless America.

Yeah, God bless America.

[heavy metal music]

Oh!

[indistinct chatter]

Alright, crack open that

case, Gator, and let's get

this show on the road.

F*** yeah, f*** yeah.

Right, now Josie, tonight

there ain't none of that

sh*t about being grown,

okay, or drinking like a

Me and Gator here are

going to show you how to

drink like a local.

Oh, alright, let's see it.

C'mon.

Here's to you and me.

And best friends

we'll always be.

But if we ever disagree,

(together) F*** you!

And here's to me!

Hey, f*** you.

You got the jump on me.

Bullshit, Gator.

I beat you fair and square.

Alright, it's your turn.

Alright.

Y'all need someone to show

you how this is done proper.

[Gator giggles]

Yeah, right.

What's the bet?

Uh, well if either of us

win, you gotta, you gotta

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes