Journey to the West Page #3

Synopsis: Tang Sanzang, an aspiring Buddhist hero tries to protect a village from three demons. He develops complex feelings for Miss Duan, the demon hunter who repeatedly helps him, and finally quests to meet the legendary Monkey King.
Director(s): Stephen Chow, Chi-kin Kwok (co-director)
Production: Magnolia Pictures
  1 win & 12 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.8
Metacritic:
68
Rotten Tomatoes:
94%
PG-13
Year:
2013
110 min
Website
1,304 Views


You're still spraying!

It's broken... mechanical failure.

You're all... useless!

Please don't be angry, Boss!

Boss? What's going on?!

I had no choice. I'm already yours.

What do you mean?

Have you forgotten?

You kissed me and felt me up that day...

What? He kissed you and felt you up?

Shut up!

Lady Warrior, I apologize

if I have offended you.

I'm just a simple, common demon-hunter.

I have... my dream.

I only live for the Greater Love.

Lesser Love

isn't for me...

...but no matter what I say,

you'll never understand.

I'm a demon-hunter too. I can understand.

That's good.

But my wish is...

...to find the man of my dreams.

To start a family with him...

...then live a simple life...

...and that man is you!

You're crazy!

What shall we do with him, Boss?

Take him away!

Let me go!

I need to pee.

Boss, this guy goes around

with a Nursery Rhyme book...

...going on about

Greater Love and "Lesser Love".

Clearly, he's an evil guy...

...who abducts women and children.

Boss, you must be possessed!

Even a sophisticated guy

like me can't seem to attract you.

Seeing you fall

for him really breaks my heart!

Which one is your heart?

These two... my nipples!

You've made it so obvious to him,

your feelings.

This guy doesn't appreciate you.

He's so rude.

Not just rude... it's downright inhumane!

What do you think, San?

I feel...

Can you first remove that get-up please?!

It's broken. I can't get it off.

Someone help me.

Stay away!

I feel... when I died just now...

...he seemed to

show some empathy.

But when so much blood spurted out...

...and he didn't suspect anything...

...that shows his low level of intelligence.

Frankly speaking, he's an idiot.

So, who's more dumb, you or him?

Him, for sure...

wright?

Little Sis, was it rude of him

to refuse my advances?

Yes,

but this also shows his positive qualities.

He knows what kind of woman he wants.

You understand me so well,

unlike those stupid men!

Although he looks weak and vulnerable...

...if you like him,

I'll support you all the way.

You're wrong... he's braver than any of us.

Although he looks like a nobody...

...he dares to fight the demons

with just his Nursery Rhymes...

...and not even for fame or fortune!

Now that's what

I'd call a true man of courage.

I get it... now I understand.

Right? I get it now.

But... he doesn't like me.

That's not true. I'm sure he likes you.

But you shouldn't act so tough.

You should try to be more feminine.

Come on, just try it!

Not like that. Why don't you try this?

I don't know how.

Don't worry...

The Obedience Charm

You'll do exactly what I do!

Go!

Sorry, I just need to pee.

But you won't let me out,

so I have to do it here.

Sis, help me.

Back off! You're spraying it on me!

Back off! You're spraying it on me!

But I haven't started peeing yet.

How could I have sprayed you?

Plug it up with a stopper!

Plug it up with a stopper!

You're so cruel.

There's no need to plug it up.

I can hold it in.

But I don't have a stopper!

If you won't plug it, I'll rip it out!

If you won't plug it, I'll rip it out!

Is there any justice in this world?!

Great, yank it out for me!

Cut the crap!

Sorry... I didn't mean to...

Get lost!

Great, it's finally stopped.

What the hell did you do?!

I swear... I'll kill you!

You friggin' S.O.B.!

Okay, go for it! Go on... if you dare!

Where's my sword?!

I'll get it!

I can't take it anymore!

Kill him!

What's wrong with you?! Stop it!

Stop playing tricks on me!

Wait!

I said, stop playing tricks on me!

Prepare the battle chariot!

Ready!

Get in!

Start up the "Ironblood System"

The "Ironblood System"?

The "Ironblood System" uses hammering...

...to push air from the air sacs

through the tubes to...

...push the propellers and move

the gears to generate power...

...then refills the air sacs

and repeats the procedure...

...that generates inexhaustible

kinetic energy.

Then the chariot can move.

Hurry! It's catching up!

Full speed ahead!

Fast, isn't it?

Can you please be a bit more careful?

What should we do?! The Pig Demon's up ahead!

Do I look scared?! Just crash into him!

Don't miss me too much.

Wake up!

Don't scare me... Don't die!

Wake up!

Caught you! See how worried you were...

...and you still won't admit you love me?

I knew it!

I almost forgot about that Pig!

Almighty Foot,

why must you always compete with me?

We all followed the demon's aura here.

Whoever captures the Pig Demon first...

...is the best demon-hunter of all!

All right, let's forget the Pig Demon.

How about a one-on-one fight?

The Pig Demon's tough,

and even tougher under a full moon.

Who else could beat him, other than me?!

Look who's bragging!

Hello there, Prince Important!

They say your Sword Play

is the best in the world!

It's time for my Almighty Foot to take you on!

I'll let you be Number One.

It's lonesome at the top.

How could you commoners understand?

Keep it low-key, okay?

Stop throwing the petals.

Boss, didn't you tell us to throw them?

What does the cough mean?

Are we throwing the petals or not?

No!

But you still have to pay us!

I know!

Actually,

I don't know what she's talking about.

Wow! Where did you pick up

these four "lovely blossoms"?

Out in the wild.

I was lucky to find these four!

Why not just walk on your own two feet?

That would make me the same as you.

I, Prince Important, have my own style.

You're not important, just impotent!

Listen,

you can't just make random accusations.

Can't you read this word?

It's "impotent"... no, wait, no!

It's "important".

I'm Prince impotent... no, no!

I'm not Prince Important!

I'm impotent.

You... I was... I tell you, when I was a child

I was impotent. Buddha would know.

No, wait, no...

I've been very important since I was born.

I'm trying to stay impotent.

Enough!

You all have amazing fighting skills.

Why not unite to fight the demon?

If you let him go now,

stronger under the full moon.

And then all our lives will be over.

With no fame or fortune left to compete for.

You don't deserve to be demon-hunters!

And who is this beggar?

I'm not a beggar. I'm also a demon-hunter.

Oh, got it... give him some food.

We don't share the same goals and beliefs.

I must go.

Well said! I admire you so much!

I support you. I'll go with you!

Go away!

You keep blocking my way to Buddhahood.

Give me back my book.

What's wrong? We were doing so well.

Give me back the 300 Nursery Rhymes!

300 Nursery Rhymes??

Are you sleeping?

Are you sleeping, Brother John?

Give me some face

in front of all these people.

300 Nursery Rhymes??

Fine!

You! Hey, what are you doing?!

Go ahead...

...hit me.

Useless garbage... Idiot!

Go to hell!

Take a good honest look at yourself.

If not for me, would you be alive today?

You think you're Prince Charming?

Demon-hunter, my foot!

This fellow here is the true hero in my heart!

Want to go for a drink...

...and get to know each other, Handsome?

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Stephen Chow

Stephen Chow Sing Chi (Chinese: 周星馳, born 22 June 1962) is a Chinese film director, actor, film producer, political adviser of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference and martial artist. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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