Joven y alocada Page #5

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that's not in the Bible. "

Threesome, threesome, threesome.

GOZPEL 1:
7 THE LITTLE

STAIRCASES OF SIN BY YOUNG & WILD

Come on, let's dance!

I want to dance.

Let's dance.

Hey, I hate this music.

Then let's make out.

Come on.

Hello.

Hello.

The tigress of the west.

Barbage.

This is my boyfriend, Toms.

- Hello.

- Hello.

Cute.

Daniela has talked a lot about you.

And you two, how do you know each other?

From around.

Come on, I want to dance.

- Come on, no, no.

- Come on.

Dani.

"Dani. "

Dani.

Stop, stop, stop.

It's not funny.

How come David and

Bathsheba f***ed all day

and they weren't married?

That's the worst example.

Afterwards, they get punished by God.

What a great punishment.

The Bible says that

later on, he had 800 wives

and he was f***ing them all.

You heretic brat.

Well, at least they were all his wives.

Let's get married then.

You're really drunk.

Hi.

Gated!

Happy Birthday!

Thank you. How are you?

Barbage?

Will you come to the bathroom with me?

Okay...

What's the deal?

Damn it.

Well, whenever you feel like it.

Here's your humble servant.

You left Toms alone.

You forgot about me.

Even though I came here

to f*** you and Toms.

Hello.

Hello.

- Bye.

- Bye.

Thank you.

Bye.

They were kind of weird.

No, they were really normal.

Did you have a lot to drink?

Practically nothing.

"Practically nothing. "

Are you going to drive, Tere?

No, you drive.

Hug the person next to you

and tell them that they're beautiful.

You're beautiful.

You're beautiful.

You're beautiful.

You're beautiful.

If there's something that I hate,

it's open letters-

open letter to Chile,

open letter to the baby

who'll never be born,

open letter to the president,

open letter to

I-dunno-what, I-dunno-who.

But just like Paul,

ex-Saul, I do what I hate...

Open letter to Toms.

My spirit feels relieved.

Father looks at you with acceptance.

Aunt loves you.

Mother trusts you.

It's me and my raping power

that she doesn't trust.

Tomas, Mother, as always, is right.

My spirit feels relieved,

but my poonani doesn't.

P.S.:
I have a very intelligent idea-

to make a sex-themed video game.

You earn ten points

for conventional sex.

This is p*ssy-dick.

20 points for less conventional sex.

This is dick-ass.

30 points for a threesome.

40 points for convincing a

virgin person to fornicate.

1,800 points

- no, 1,800 million points

for convincing a man

of God to fornicate.

1,800 million points

that I will never earn.

Boo. I've only got a few points.

F***. Your boyfriend is a dumb-ass.

I'd tell you, "Eat this Popsicle. "

Hey, sister in flesh and blood,

I never post things on your blog.

All this filthiness is

making me a little nervous.

Ha, ha, ha.

I forgot that I was

going to post this to say

that I have more points than

all of your followers combined

and added and multiplied.

And f***ing the one who writes this

blog, how many points do I get for that?

You lose points.

SAILOR HAS JUST SIGNED IN

YOUNG&WILD SAYS:
WHO ARE YOU'?

SAILOR SAYS:
SAILOR SATAN.

THE GIRL YOU LEFT OUTSIDE THE BATHROOM.

YOUNG&WILD SAYS:
HAHAHAHA!

SAILOR SAYS:
HOW DID

IT GO IN THE BATHROOM?

YOUNG&WILD SAYS:
I

DON'T KNOW. CONFUSION.

SAILOR SAYS:
FEAR OR CONFUSION?

YOUNG&WILD SAYS:
IT DIDN'T SCARE ME.

SAILOR SAYS:
AN

EVANGELITEASE IS WHAT YOU ARE.

YOUNG&WILD SAYS:
NO.

SAILOR SAYS:
YES!

YOUNG&WILD SAYS:
NO. AND NO. AND NO.

They think I'm with Toms.

Do you want to go to Rene's Bar?

No.

GOZPEL 1:
8 BACON AND

TOFU BY YOUNG & WILD

Okay, I'm off to pick up your brother

from the Christian Youth Club.

So you stay here keeping

Aunt Isabel company.

And don't go into your

room all by yourselves.

Bye.

Such a prude.

Do you love me?

I don't know.

What do you mean, you don't know?

You're not even into me.

What do you mean, I'm not into you?

The other day, I heard a man say

he thought another guy

liked both men and women.

He said this:
"He likes

both bacon and tofu. "

Nah. He totally looks like it.

That guy likes to

kick it with both feet.

I wanted to ask him, "And

who would the bacon be?

Who would the tofu be?"

But he got off the bus.

Then I thought,

"I'll write the parable

of the bacon and tofu. "

Here it goes.

One:
Fornication with her.

Two:
Fornication with him.

Three:
Fornication with her.

Four:
Fornication with him.

Five:
Fornication with her.

Six:
Fornication with him.

Seven:
Love with her.

Eight:
Love with him.

Yes, I know. It's not a parable.

But I don't have much

time, and unlike Jesus,

I'll never be able to teach anything.

GOZPEL 1:
9 IF I HAVE NO LOVE,

I AM NOTHING BY YOUNG & WILD

Everyone, pay attention.

We're ready to roll.

Three, two, one.

On air.

Hello, friends!

Welcome to your show Rich in Christ.

Today we have two young contestants.

Our first contestant, Leo,

comes from the Baptist

Church of uoa.

Our second contestant, Vicente,

comes from the Christian

Missionary Church.

Boys, please say hello.

Let's go on to our first question.

Complete the biblical verse:

"For God so loved the world"...

"That he gave his only begotten son,

"that whoever believes

in him shall not perish

but have eternal life. "

"That he gave his only begotten son,

"that whoever believes

in him shall not perish

but have eternal life. "

I won.

Excellent, Leo! Very good!

So let's go on to the second question.

It reads as follows. Attention...

Today there's no parable

or metaphor or comparison

or biblical

reinterpretation or anything,

'cause I'm feeling like

a f***ing cock-dick-prick.

Sorry, sorry.

Seeing bacon and tofu every day.

I'm confused,

and I don't know if I want

to write, but I do write.

I don't know why I write,

and maybe it's better if

I talk about the Bible.

Once, in Corinthians, Paul said,

"if I have not love, I am nothing. "

I am nothing.

"If I do not have love,

I become as sounding brass

or a tinkling cymbal. "

Hey, come on.

And I want to ask Paul, God, Mother,

some blogger, someone,

what happens if I have too much love?

What happens if I like two people?

If I love two?

If I like doing dirty things with both?

Is it better than having no love at all?

What the f*** happens,

Paul, Mother, God, blogger?

Do I become nothing?

Am I less than nothing?

GOZPEL 1:
10 BUH-BYE

OLD SELF BY YOUNG & WILD

No, come on, seriously.

Let's have a real conversation now.

Let's do something.

You tell me everything you like

and everything you want,

and then I'll tell you.

I like waking up sick on Sundays...

Being afraid of dachshunds,

chatting online until

my eyes burn at night...

We talked about pretty

things, and there were boats

and sun, a lake, and even a parrot,

and all we needed was that perfect song.

Cha, na, na

Like when soap operas end.

But the difference was

that nothing was ending.

Drenched on your back

I feel happy

We don't get up anymore

And I hold you against my chest

With all my soul

I could die tomorrow

I could die stuck here

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