Joy Page #7

and clearly she's jealous.

But can you do me a favor

and make your friend?

Can you just do me that favor,

Todd?

Please, for me.

- Yes.

- Thank you.

This is Joy, she has a very exciting new

mop that we're going to introduce next week.

I would like you to launch it,

you're my first choice.

Uh... Mop... you want me to

bring this newborn into the world?

That newborn that you're holding is every cent,

every dollar, even debt, that I've ever made.

- Every cent you've ever made?

- That's right.

That kind of pressure

is not helpful.

- What?

- No...

It's not part of my process,

either.

Oh!

- Todd.

- I didn't mean to pressure you, Todd, I...

We're... and we're finicky creatures.

- He's very sensitive.

- He IS our number one seller,

he's selling EVERYTHING through the

roof with numbers we've never seen before.

I take it very seriously,

I see it as a privilege that we

have to go into people's homes

and I despise anybody

who's cynical about that.

Jack Warner wasn't cynical about that,

Darryl Zanuck wasn't cynical about that,

and Neil Walker is not

cynical about that.

Let me show you the stage.

I believe, eventually, one day, television will

even be BY and ABOUT actual, regular people.

Even on computers,

24 hours a day.

Who knows, nobody thought

this network would be real.

And here we are.

By the,

stocks goin' through the roof.

Must be mine

or Joan's dog.

Who's Joan?

Who is Joan?

Thank you, Darling.

Oh, you're never going to make it

in a man's world dressed like that.

Oh, Mister Peepers...

It's a round stage,

it has 4 or 5 different sets that rotate,

depending on what we're

selling at a given moment.

Look at the quality of this...

Here comes Joan and Cindy,

watch this.

These guys are major,

Joan's the original seller.

Can you do anything better than...

your blacks, your... your pearls.

- Everything!

- Everything!

Everything, look at it against the peach.

Look at that... morning.

Look at that green... afternoon.

- Look...black.

- Evening.

Of course, can you be more elegant?

So, it's functional,

- elegant...

- You can wear it alone, you can wear it...

What I love...

The stars are people,

they always make the mistake of thinking

it's about the face, but it's not,

it's about the hands.

Because that's what people use...

they hold things they care about...

and her hands are going

to become their hands.

And that becomes them,

and then their voice and then their eyes.

The stars always make

the mistake.

It's really not the hands and the voice,

that's the heart of it.

6-2-7-6...

A hundred dollar value.

Are they not phenomenal?

Now watch this.

Cindy's gonna let us down, right...

Right now, thirty-nine ninety-nine.

NOW!

You need this,

you can get this,

you need to call right now,

though.

I'm being called.

Watch the calls, look at this.

Watch them, here they come.

- Here they come.

- Now.

Calls coming in now.

Calls, calls, calls,

calls, calls, calls.

Calls... look at the counter,

I guarantee you we're gonna go over 20.

Those are empty seats... standard...

those are legal, those are...

Keep your...

they're actual sales, Joy.

Do you mind,

you busy?

- Is the queue full?

- The queue's full.

You can hear a phone

call right now.

When they can't call through,

we gotta keep 'em watching.

- Did we get a call, did we get a call?

- Okay... we got it!

Joan, phone call right now!

We have a caller! We have a caller.

Ah, Sharon from Colorado.

- Hi, Sharon!

- Hi, Sharon.

Cindy and Joan,

I can't believe I'm talking to you.

- Are you happy

with your necklace?

These necklaces are SO

gorgeous and timeless.

Well, good for you.

My great-grandmother had things like this,

I am so excited to have these here.

Go, go, yes, yes, yes,

go, yes, yes, yes...

Joy!

Do you see those numbers?

We're gonna wind-up

with 25 thousand.

- Cindy knows how to close it.

- Wow!

Okay, I want to go home,

I want you to call your lawyer,

look at the contract,

make sure your product factory is in line.

- Okay?

- Okay.

Okay, Godspeed, good luck,

here we go, I'll walk ya out.

You can't expect Trudy to write a check

for 200,000 dollars for 50,000 mops,

when you already owe her 18,000 to

make mops you haven't even sold yet.

Do you understand that

there is a business...

that wants to sell

my mop on television?

It's going to sell.

Fine, you feel so strongly about it,

you put up half the money.

Yes, it's only fair that you

share the financial risks, too.

How's she gonna do that?

She's got nothing, she's got no money.

What? You want me to take out

a second mortgage on my house?

They want me to take out a

second mortgage on my house.

A second mortgage?

- But the house, the kids?

- What's gonna happen, Joy, how would you do that?

I don't know.

Hey, how ya doin'?

You know, I've been watchin' you through

that fence since you were a little girl.

I've been watchin'

you grow up.

- Hey, listen.

- What?

Would it be okay if I...

- You wanna fire a few rounds?

- I do.

- Good, it might make you feel better.

- Thank you, I think I will.

- You know how to hold it?

- Yeah, yeah.

Okay, go ahead.

Good!

Good!

Good!

Oh, my God.

Get ready,

this is definitely gonna change the holidays

for anyone who has

a floor or a bathroom.

Because we have the most exciting

new home product in years.

This is the new,

self-wringing mop...

Okay, okay, okay.

the new standard in homes.

Right here.

Let's take a look at this.

This is brought to you only by QVC.

Now, this is clearly extremely

soft and absorbent cotton.

There we go,

we just take this...

And you...

This is a little

trickier than it looks.

We put it...

Whoops,

it's gettin' my arm wet here.

Let's see,

we got no sales here.

- Maybe... maybe, maybe a caller, is there a caller?

- What happened?

So there... so there are no calls.

All right.

And we do NOT have any sales still,

so, this is what we're gonna do.

We're gonna move on now, we're gonna

move on to Cindy. who's gonna talk to

Serena Kendall,

Former star from Falcon Crest and Dynasty.

And she is gonna tell us

all about her new line of gowns.

These are my special

occasions gowns...

Special! How apropos.

that were inspired by all of the times

that I was in Dynasty and Falcon Crest.

That is absolutely amazing,

I want you to pan here, look at these.

Look at the detail, look at the detail,

look at the value in that.

About how many sequins

would you say that is?

- That's it?

- That's all?

No! It's over!

That's how fast it happens!

- They're not gonna give her a second chance.

- Don't give her another chance.

- Now what's gonna happen?

- No, wait.

They're going to give her a second chance!

- They will.

- 200,000 dollars.

50,000 mops.

Joy...

Hello.

Five thousand, one hundred and seven

sequins for... get this, how much?

Two ninety-nine.

I'm sorry the

product didn't sell.

That man didn't know

what he was doing, Neil.

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