Joy Ride 3 Page #2

I don't recall.

- Oh, you don't recall?

- No.

- Amy Crawford, high school prom queen.

- Hmm.

- You recall. Yeah.

- Mmm-hmm.

I was a junior taking her to prom.

And you hated the fact

that I was her date.

I did?

And here I thought

you were my wingman.

I am your wing man.

But when it comes to women, wingman

or not, it's every man for himself.

Yeah, fair enough.

Hey. Did you guys get everything?

Yeah.

Where are the girls? Shouldn't they

be the ones doing the shopping?

Oh, Jewel shops. Trust me. But

she's also a damn fine driver.

Yeah. The last time I checked, she's not

driving. So what good are they?

Oh, they are good to look at.

Watch your mouth, Junior.

Thanks.

Run through the whole cycle?

Yeah, it passed with flying colors.

She's ready to roar.

Great.

The girls said they had some

sort of surprise for us.

- Hey, baby.

- Hey.

Could you guys get dressed

into your uniforms?

I want to take a group

photo for the website.

No. There's plenty of

pictures on there already.

Ugh! Come on, Austin. Don't

be such a pain in the ass.

Just do it. For me.

Oh!

And, hon, could you set up the

camera at the end of the car?

Alisa and I will be right back.

Yeah.

Bobby.

No, let's get back to the...

- Yeah, it's fine.

- Yeah, okay.

Oh!

Unbelievable.

Now that is unbelievably hot.

- Like our new uniforms?

- I love them, baby.

This is ridiculous.

We're supposed to be

running a racing team,

not selling tuner girl calendars.

You know you're an ass, right?

Okay, let's just line up in front

of the car, take a picture.

The fans are gonna want to see

us before we leave for the race.

Come on!

Okay! Here's to the

Road Rally 1000!

Here's to the 100 grand purse!

Hey, you the new guy?

Yeah. Afternoon.

You ever seen anything

like this before?

- Third body in the last two months.

- Jesus Christ! Really?

Highway 17.

They don't call it Slaughter

Alley for nothing.

I don't follow.

What do we got?

A long haul trucker called it in.

Body

parts.

Two victims. White male, female.

No identification.

We're still looking

for most of them.

Hey!

What caused this?

It's hard to say, really.

Well, it could have been a murder.

We'll know more once we

get all the body parts.

And I'll let you know

when the medical examiner

has done his preliminary

examination.

Any hunches to what might have

ripped them up like this?

Could have been coyotes.

Could have been wolves.

I mean, they could have spread

the body parts all around.

Okay. Keep me informed.

Yeah. Will do.

Sir.

What do you want me

to write it up as?

Write it up as a

possible animal attack.

It did look like they got dragged.

There's a lot of road

rash on those bodies.

Do you think it's maybe a

good idea if I check around,

see if anybody heard anything?

Check around as much as you like.

Just don't start scaring people.

We've got enough trouble with

this Slaughter Alley bullshit.

I get it. I'll keep it low key.

Okay, radio me when you're

all cleaned up here.

Will do.

And?

Slightly better than the

last run, a 3% increase.

Damn it. I was kind

of hoping for more.

Yeah. Well, all this

testing doesn't mean much.

We need a real world dry run.

Yeah, I know. We just

don't have the time.

Well, we need to make the time.

It's just stupid not

working out the engine.

You calling me stupid?

Yeah, I am.

Yeah, you would.

Besides, you know, you

should really let me drive.

I should let you

drive, shouldn't I?

Okay. You know what?

I'll tell you what, big guy.

You can drive right now.

- There you go. You wanna drive?

- No, thanks.

- You sure?

- Yeah, I'm sure.

You wanna get back in here?

All right, sit down back there.

You're making Bobby nervous.

Whoo!

What's that?

- Relax, Mick.

- All right, who's hungry?

Oh, yeah.

Good. There's a truck stop

two miles up with a caf.

American fine dining at its best.

We're pulling over for lunch.

Is that a serious question?

Of course I do.

Morning.

Excuse me, I don't drink coffee.

I'll be back for your order.

Uh...

- Colorful.

- Wow.

Oh, my God. She's the spitting

image of Large Marge!

Who?

Really?

Anyone? Large Marge?

Pee-wee's Big Adventure?

What are you talking about, Bobby?

You know, the youth today, they've got no

sense of history, no sense of culture.

It's just devastating.

Sorry.

Move over.

What are we talking about?

Nothing. Trust me.

All right, did you see

this route on your GPS?

No, maybe it's an old

route they shut down.

Okay, well, if it's open,

it'll be a more direct route.

We could shave a day off our time.

But if it's not on the GPS, then

it might not even exist anymore.

You're right.

So, what'll it be?

- Burgers?

- Burgers.

- Yeah.

- Yeah, burgers.

Yeah, please. All around.

Everything on 'em. And we'll

have them to go, please.

We're in a bit of a rush.

Of course you are.

Thanks, Marge.

So, what do you guys want to do?

I mean, I would love an extra day on

the course. Get the lay of the land.

You're sitting in a truck stop.

Go and ask a trucker, they'll know.

Yeah, that's a good idea.

Come on.

Which one?

Excuse me, sir. Hi.

- Could we have a moment of your time?

- What do you want?

Directions, actually.

Can I show you this map?

Suit yourself.

You recognize this highway?

Route 17. Does it still exist?

'Cause we can't find it on our GPS.

It exists, but you

don't want to take it.

Why not? We're heading

up to Canada,

and we figured that route would

cut at least a day off our trip.

Trust me, you don't

want to take it.

Why not, exactly? Is it a rough road?

Is it under repair? What?

You know what they call

that stretch of highway?

- No.

- Slaughter Alley. You know why?

Obviously not.

Because more people die

or disappear on that road

than any other road

in the United States.

Really?

Some say it's the road

itself that's dangerous.

Well, I'm a pretty good driver.

I mean, I'm not going to crash,

if that's what you mean.

Well, you might just disappear.

They say a trucker patrols that

highway looking for people to kill.

You do know that most serial

killers are truck drivers, right?

No, that's not true.

Ask him.

Barry here trying to scare

you off Highway 17?

Yeah.

There's nothing wrong

with that highway.

Barry, here, has a flair for the

dramatic. Pay no attention to him.

Then why don't you tell them what you

were doing up there this morning, Chris?

There was a fatality.

An accident. We are investigating.

It looked like a murder to me,

some kind of satanic sacrifice.

Jesus, Barry! You need to

get back on your meds.

Just stay below the speed

limit. You'll be fine.

That is until your car

shuts off by itself.

What do you mean by that?

It's some sort of electronic

dead zone out there.

Sometimes everything

just shuts off.

Your phones. Your CBs.

Your engines. Your lights.

Some say it's aliens. I say it's

the government, the damn NSA.

They've got some sort of top secret giant

listening post out there in the wasteland.

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