Judge Priest Page #3

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That-That's all.

Oh, there ain't a thing that I can do about it.

My job don't start until, uh...

...they've got him all, uh,

laid out in the morgue...

...full of buckshot, cold and dead...

...and, uh, ready for burial.

And then I steps in.

Uh, b-but, uh, y-you-you, Judge-...

...y-y-you is the law.

Oh, I can't do a thing about

it, as I said before...

...until the shooting is over.

And, uh, then I'll certainly

see that the, uh, murderer gets a fair trial.

Giddap. Giddap.

Uncle Billy, I couldn't

find that book anywhere.

What book?

- That Kentucky law book.

Oh. Maybe I didn't have one.

Ellie May is waitin' for you over there.

- What?

Well, l-l-l- How do you know?

Are you sure?

Now don't be standin' here like a jaybird

gawkin' when I tell you she's waitin'.

Go on out of here and go.

That dumb whip-poor-will.

Mighty poor company on a night like this.

Good night, Jeff.

Been a long time, honey, since...

...you and the babies...

...went away.

Mmm, honey, it sure is a pretty night.

Been an awful late spring.

But I don't know when I've seen the flowers

lookin' better this time of year.

People are funny things-...

...always got their eye set on something.

Rome, he's got his eye set on Ellie May.

And Carrie, she's got hers set on

old Hod Maydew's daughter for Rome.

Old Hod, he's got his eye set on my job.

And some of 'em's gonna be disappointed.

Mmm, them honeysuckles

sure do smell sweet.

Seems like I just can't get

my nose full enough of 'em.

Why, dad-burn, honey.

There's Bob Gillis over there at a grave.

It's at Ellie May's mother's.

Hi, Jimmy.

- Hello, Billy.

What are you- What are you doin' there?

Figurin' on gettin' called

to the colors again?

Hello, Gillis.

Hello.

You never know what

them Yanks is gonna do.

We licked 'em once,

and I'm keepin' old Dead-eye ready...

...in case we- in case we gotta do it again.

Say, uh, better look

at old General Forrest there.

Think he's gonna need

a little shoein' pretty soon.

Well, I'm- I'm mighty busy right now, Billy...

...shoein' them two horses over there.

Hey, Bob, we better take a look

at the judge's horse.

There's somethin' wrong.

Have a snifter? Good corn.

You can smell the feet of

the boy that plowed it.

That breath of yours is like a hot mince pie.

Where you goin'?

- Goin' fishin'. Sleepy River.

Sleepy River?

Why don't you fish in the trough there?

Need shoein'?

- Nope. All right for a while yet.

Say, bad scar you got there.

Bullet?

Yeah.

- Get that in the war?

Nope.

Uh, folks say you come from up north.

Must have got that up there.

As well talk to Jeff

as far as finding out anything.

Hey, wake up here.

Somebody come along

and steal the horse...

...and leave you sittin' here holdin' the lines.

All right. Come on with that beef liver now.

The bait is in the bait bag.

I always keep it in here.

Hurry up now.

- Uh, liver, uh-

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't tell- Don't tell me you ain't got it.

It looks like that liver

done walked off by itself.

Lord.

Here. How am I gonna catch any catfish

when I ain't got no bait?

Take this dime now and hurry on

back to town and get me that beef liver.

All right, sir.

- Hurry up now.

All right.

I'm practically runnin' now.

Ain't you gonna put your shoes on?

Well, I'm savin' 'em

in case my feet wear out.

And then I'll have 'em.

Mm-hmm.

As much sittin' around as you do,

it won't be your feet that will wear out.

Massa Jesus wrote me a note

He wrote it on the moon

He tells me to put on my Sunday clothes

For he's coming to fetch me soon

Massa Jesus

Wrote me a note

He dropped it in a star

Say he gonna wash me white as snow

A coat. I got on a hat...

...and this good old pretty vest

hangin' up in there doin' nothing.

By grabs.

Plague take you.

I thought I told you

to stay away from that vest.

But, Judge, it got hung up on my-

- You got my coat on there too.

Yes, but this old skunk coat-

- Skunk coat?

I mean possum-

- What do you mean, possum?

Uh, rabbit-

Rabbit? Say, listen. Every

inch of that is raccoon.

Better be raccoon.

I took it off a rich Yank.

And now you get in there and put

them things away from there.

Better get on over to that festival there.

Dilsey might be needin' you too.

How are you, Judge?

- Just tolerable, Reverend. Just tolerable.

I'm afraid it takes ice cream and cake

to get you old soldiers out to church.

Yeah.

If the Lord ever gets in a jam,

why, uh, he knows who to call.

That's right. Going to church

isn't everything there is to it.

Evening, Senator.

- Good evening, Reverend.

Good evening, Judge Priest.

- Good evening, Hod.

There's one of our best churchgoers.

Yes, it's- it's surprisin'

how far some men will go...

...to, uh, get a few votes.

To bad we, uh-we didn't get rid of him

and get him off up to Congress there...

...after him spendin' that,

uh, term in the state senate.

I understand he thinks you

deprived him of that honor.

Me? Hmm. Great Democratic party

and Thomas Jefferson.

Evidently, the senator

doesn't see it that way.

They tell me that his cases in your court...

...have taken on the appearance

of a personal feud...

...now that he's a candidate for your job.

Oh, I wouldn't say that, Ashby.

But I am gonna have to get out and do

some mighty tall electioneering, you know.

Hod is a- He's a spellbinder and a-...

...and a silver-tongue from way back.

I'm just a-well, an old country jake

who- kind of a baby kisser.

I ain't got much to offer the boys

in the- in the way of rhetoric.

I understand he doesn't

approve of your grammar.

My grammar?

First thing I learned in politics

was when to say 'ain't.'

Speakin' of ice cream, did I

ever tell you about Shiloh?

Yes.

- Didn't I? Didn't I?

Wait a minute, Doc.

I want you to hear this.

Come here. Come on over here. I want you

to hear this.'Twas the eve before Shiloh...

...and them orders had to get across

the river to General Beauregard.

What did I do?

I took off my clothes...

...and I stuffed the orders in my mouth,

and I plunged in.

It was pitch dark.

Well, sir, I was going-

Good evening.

Are you swimming again, Jimmy?

Now where was I?

Where was I?

- Right in the middle of the river, Jimmy.

Yes. Yes, sir. There you are.

Swimming, and 12 miles to go yet.

And there I was,

swimmin' and swimmin'...

...divin' under and

around Yankee gunboats.

Yankee boats all around me.

Surrounded by Yankee gunboats,

and me dodgin' 'em.

Gunboats?

- Yes, sir.

Puttin' them gunboats in there

is a new touch, ain't it, Jimmy?

Hello, Rome.

- Hello.

Now don't you young people

think you have to entertain us old folks.

That's right. Uh, run along now.

They're getting ready for the candy pull.

Perhaps Rome has other plans.

Oh, no, he hasn't.

I declare, Virginia gets

prettier every time I see her.

And I know you're happy

to have Rome home again.

Oh, he's such a nice boy.

Don't they look fine together?

Look at them, Horace.

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