Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer Page #2

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with ABC peas in your mouth?

DAD:
ABC what? What?

MOM:
Already Been Chewed.

- DAD:
Oh.

- (MOM GROANS)

MOM:
Guys.

Oh... OK, guys.

Mind your manners, please.

Anyway, I could care less

about Rocky and Amy.

I mean, going to circus camp,

that's lame.

Rocky's going to circus camp?

You know, that's a great idea.

You know, I think his grandparents

used to run that, the famous Circus

- Zangzini. Right.

- Zangzini.

# A- B-C-D-E-F-G #

Can we please not talk about Rocky?

Hey, wanna know what

I'm doing this summer?

- I'm gonna catch Bigfoot.

- Bigfoot?

Where did you even hear about Bigfoot?

Hello! He's all over the news.

- Oh.

- DAD:
In the newspapers, too.

Yeah, there have been Bigfoot

sightings everywhere.

Sally Rottenberger saw him in the mall.

(STAMMERS)

DAD:
At the mall?

I thought Bigfoot lived in the woods.

But sometimes he has to buy stuff.

There's no such thing.

Is too. Wanna help me catch him?

I'd rather catch poison ivy.

- Oh, thank you.

- Mom?

Mm-hmm?

Can I please,

with ice cream and sprinkles on top,

go to circus camp? Please?

Honey, I'm sorry. It's just too expensive,

you know? We can't afford it.

But if I learn how to do circus stuff,

I can quit school and you can

loan me out to a circus

- and I'll make gobs of money. Please.

- OK, well...

You're not quitting school

and we're certainly not

loaning you out to a circus.

No one in this family

has any imagination!

And Rocky is a circus-freak,

leave-me-behind un-friend!

I am never, not ever

speaking to him again!

But what if you hate circus camp?

Are you nuts?

Why would I hate circus camp?

Because it won't all be tons of fun.

I bet they make you shovel elephant poop.

Ha-ha. Good one.

Yeah, and did you know

it weighs like 200 tons?

Plus, it smells worse

than a corpse flower.

- (HORN HONKS)

- Are you ready for your send-off, Rock?

# For

# He's a jolly good fellow

# He looks like a bowl of Jell-O

# And all his teeth are yellow

# Which nobody can deny

# And now we're saying goodbye

# And now we're saying goodbye

# For he's a jolly good fellow

# But now we're saying goodbye #

Bye, guys! Miss you!

See you in a while!

Bye!

Think of me when you're

on elephant poop duty.

I will. And also when I'm

taming lions and juggling swords.

- You ready, kiddo?

- Yeah.

(ENGINE STARTS)

Bye.

ROCKY:
Bye, guys!

Don't have too much fun while I'm gone!

(SQUEAK TOY SQUEAKING)

Remember, if camp is super boring,

you can always come home!

And don't say I didn't

warn you about the poop!

ROCKY:
Oh, I forgot! I...

(VOICE FADES)

I can't hear you!

(DEEP EXHALE)

So why are you going to Bored-eo?

Because of this lost tribe

called the Penan.

They've lived in the rainforest

since forever,

but all their land is being

destroyed because of logging.

So anyways, my mom's going there

so she can write an article on them

and hopefully we can save them.

You're so lucky.

I never get to save a lost tribe.

I wish you could come.

It's not that far away, you know.

It's only like 9,000 miles.

Lots of people go to Borneo

for a vacation.

- Really?

- Mm-hmm.

Does it cost like a zillion dollars?

I don't think so.

Then maybe we could go.

There's no reason we have to spend

every summer at Grandma Lou's, right?

WOMAN:
Amy? Are you packed?

We leave in an hour.

I'm ready!

Go ask your mom!

I will! See ya!

In case she says no,

here's something to remember me by.

Sweet.

Oh, Borneo,

I long-e-o to visit you-e-o!

Mom! Mom!

- Oh, Mom! Guess what!

- Yeah?

I figured out how to save summer!

Save summer?

I didn't know it was in trouble.

Listen to this. Instead of going

to Grandma Lou's, boring,

let's go to un-boring Borneo!

Borneo? OK, you know that's like

halfway around the world, right?

So? It's got a rainforest.

And lost tribes that need to get found.

OK, but do you have any idea

how expensive it would be...

Oh, Stink!

We're going to Borneo!

But we need money-o,

so let's have a yard sale!

I'll sell my pizza table collection.

MAN:
That's right, five pizza tables,

only $9.99! Call now!

Ooh! You can sell your

World's Biggest Jawbreaker.

MAN:
World's Biggest Jawbreaker, now

only...

No can do. Can't. I'm busy.

- Are these cranberries?

- Uh, yes.

OK. Bye.

What? Bye.

OK, sweetie, can you just, um...

You know what,

sit down for a second.

I just wanna talk to you

about something.

Um, so I was just on the phone

with your other grandma,

you know, my mom.

And you know how she and Gramps

are moving to that

retirement community?

Well, I'm afraid Gramps hurt his back,

so he's gonna need a little help, so...

You mean we're flying

to California to visit them?

- (GASPING)

- Now...

That's almost as good as Borneo!

- Yes! Yes!

- Hang tight for one second.

Um, let me get a little more specific.

- Thank you! Thank you!

- If I could just...

- Did you tell her?

- Uh, not, not quite.

- Honey.

- Listen, jelly bean.

Something's come up.

Your mom and I have to fly

to California in a few days...

Yeah.

...and you and Stink...

...are staying here.

What?

You're going to leave me here?

To die of starvation

and boredom and Stink-dom?

OK, kiddo, it is not gonna be that bad.

Your Aunt Opal's coming.

- Aunt who?

- My sister.

Judy, you've heard me

mention her a million times.

- So? I never actually met her.

- You did when you were little.

She could be totally evil.

She could be a zombie for all I know.

- Oh.

- STINK:
Do I look like a berry bush?

- DAD:
Uh...

- I'm trying to fake out Bigfoot.

Well, in that case, absolutely.

- Oh, yes. 100 percent.

- Definitely.

Yes! Great! Bye!

So let me get this straight.

I'm not going to California.

I'm not going to Borneo.

I'm not going to circus camp. And now

I'm not even going to Grandma Lou's?

Then this is the way worst,

double-drat, bummer summer ever!

(JUDY GROWLS)

(GROANS)

This is supposed to be

the summer of a hundred thrills.

- But instead...

- (HORN HONKING)

STINK:
Judy, it's the ice cream truck!

I am so not in the mood!

Ow.

Dear Magic 8 Ball,

could this summer get any worse?

"Without a doubt"?

(GROANS)

(PURRING)

- (GROANING)

- (GROWLING)

(MEOWS)

MOM:
Stink! Judy!

Aunt Opal's here!

(GROAN)

DAD:
Opal, you're here!

- MOM:
Opal! There she is!

- DAD:
Wow, it's been forever!

(WOMEN SQUEALING)

MOM:
Group hug!

(CHATTERING)

JUD Y:
"Dear Amy,

summerjust got way worse.

Aunt Awful has landed!

Can't you please come home?

Or else send me a ticket to Borneo?"

DAD:
Judy? Come down

and say hi to your aunt!

I can't! Not until September!

I bet she has warts, Mouse.

And evil, oogley boogley eyes.

- And makes us eat fish guts for breakfast.

- (MEOWS)

Dad says come now

or you're in big trouble.

Can't you read the sign?

Where it says I'm spending

the summer in my room?

Really? What about food?

(MEOWING)

I have a basket.

You can put food inside

and I'll lift it up.

What about TV?

Check it out.

It's gonna be a periscope.

- I'll be able to see the whole living room.

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