Junebug Page #3

and she screamed,

Oh my God, it's a tic.

He pulled it off and stomped it

and it wouldn't even crush

because the Preparation H

made it so soft.

I don't know what love is, dude.

Man, my neighbors

are just driving me up the wall.

And they're in love.

They're technically in love,

but they're fighting over

a f***in' goddamn mini-dish.

Get a mini-dish, is all I'm saying!

Just get a goddamn mini-dish.

This is the best f***in' job I ever had.

Shut the f*** up.

I tell you what though,

you should come over to the house, man.

I got that Superbowl on tape.

I been watching it like every other day.

I always feel like they're going to win,

you know,

if I watch it on tape I fell like

they're going to pull it out.

But they never do. They never do.

Let's do it now.

Here?

Yeah! Don't you like 'Cinnamon Fizz'?

We can play beauty parlor.

Why hello, Miss Madeleine.

You called about...

'Cinnamon Fizz'.

Don't you just love the way that sounds?

I suddenly have the urge to drink this.

Oh, that could be hormonal. Pica.

Do you feel like you want to eat dirt?

Or clay, as well?

NO! Yuck! What do you think I am?

Clay.

No. Yuck.

What'd you say that was-pica?

Yeah. You might need iron, or something.

Do you take supplements?

No.

I bet that's why George married you.

Why? What's wrong?

Nothing. The head's just on my nerves.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

I'm fine.

What are you going to name it?

Junebug.

I mean, his real name will be Johnny

but we'll call him Junebug.

And if it's a little girl

we'll christen her Junebug Johnsten.

Can't you see a little baby

named Junebug?

So you don't know what you're having?

A baby.

No, I meant a boy or a girl?

Oh that.

I don't know.

I don't want to know.

I want to be surprised.

I don't care, so long as it's healthy

and it looks like Johnny.

What does he want?

I don't know

if he wants a baby right now.

But I know just as soon as he sees it

he's going to fall in love.

He's just going through a phase.

I read in one of my books that

that can happen.

How long has he been like that?

Two years.

But I know as soon as he sees that baby

he's going to snap out of it.

I think. Yep.

What do you think?

I don't know him.

Gosh, I wish that

I could grow my nails out like this.

I'm always biting on mine.

I do too. But these are wrapped.

You are kidding me! These are fake?

Yeah. I used to bite my own ones

right down to the quick.

George doesn't even know.

I even bite my toenails.

You do not! I do too!

I didn't think anybody else

in the world did that!

Ashley, what are you doing to her?

Cinnamon Fizz. Do you like it?

It's way past your nap time, Ashley.

You know what the doctor said. Come on.

I am not finished with her yet.

She's a grown-up.

She can finish her own fingernails.

Let me have that please.

I don't want that on my carpet. Go on.

Can I bum one of those?

For later.

Tah. Don't tell George.

How was your day?!

When's dinner?

Oh God. Don't stop. Don't stop.

Don't stop there. Do what you do...

I'm serious.

Oh hey. Don't talk to me 'cause

I'm working out. Did you not go?

No!

The Camaro still tore up?

Can't you fix it?

George wanted to take us

to a fancy dinner tonight

after the shower

but we got the church thing.

Hey, why don't you ask George?

He could help you fix it.

When did he call there?

This morning.

It was his sister who's a lawyer.

Did you know that he had a sister

who's also a lawyer?

What, a real lawyer?

- I don't know. Maybe.

- F***.

She's definitely negotiating something

with somebody in New York.

Okay. What gallery?

It sounds like it could be Mark Lane.

Right, of course.

She thinks because they're in New York...

Yeah. She's influenced

by their highfalutin talking.

Wait. Did she sign anything?

I have no idea. I mean, probably not.

I doubt it. I highly doubt it.

OK. No, I can handle this.

I can deal with this.

Okay. Are you having fun?

It's fine. You know what? I got to go.

- You don't want me to call?

- Okay, darling. Bye.

Okay. Bye.

I think it's time for a game, ladies.

The how big is your belly game.

It's huge!

This is Madeleine.

This is my new sister.

Hi, Nice to meet you.

She's George's wife. Isn't she pretty?

That's my little tuxedo-

- Did you do that?

- I did.

You are so good!

You can make anything, Miss Peg.

Do you have children?

No.

The reason people like meerkats...

you got 2 eyes looking right at you.

That makes them look kind

of humanoid to you.

The meerkat approaching you

creates a hostile defense

until it can smell you.

Ashley? Ashley!

...help in reproducing individuals

where they're young.

Only the offspring of the alpha female

are allowed to live.

The others, if they happen

to get impregnated accidentally,

while the alpha female is pregnant

sometimes try to sneak their young

in with a newborn of the alpha female.

They live in social groups

of which non-reproducing individuals

contribute to the welfare of the...

Look at these. Thank you so much.

It's just too much.

Here, open this one.

Okay.

What's this?

That's a baby spoon.

That should be in a museum.

I bet that's as old as crap, Ash.

Who's that from?

I don't know.

Hush! Who gave this little old spoon?

George and me.

I love it. Thank you so much.

I love it. Thank you so much.

It means so much that

you're here with me.

I don't believe

that can go in the dishwasher.

Thank you.

Goddamm it!

Hold on second. Hold on. Sorry.

Why are you swearing?

I was trying to tape this f***in' thing

on TV and it won't work.

Well, did you use a tape I already used?

Maybe the tab thingy is pushed in.

No, I did that. I pushed it in.

No, you push it in if you don't want

to tape something.

That's why it didn't work.

Here, let me help you.

What are you trying...

No! No! Go on! Forget it. Go on.

Forget it. F*** it. Go on.

God loves you just the way you are

but he loves you too much

to let you stay that way.

Lucille.

These people got the wrong house.

We're having a little thing for Ashley.

Her friends. Kind of last minute.

We want that woman been courting

my brother's pictures. Is she here?

Hi Mrs. Speas! Hi.

We're having my baby shower.

You should come on in.

Who you got with you?

Madeleine?!

God.

You all come on in. Sure. Come on in.

I'm Madeleine.

I've been trying to call you all day.

How did you find us?

A roomful of ladies.

Did you do this for me?

Of course.

- That's my sister.

- How do you do?

Oh, I think it's that retarded

artist Madeleine knows.

I'm telling you

they're not the right gallery for him.

They won't take care of him.

He sounds pretty good on the phone.

Course he never came himself.

Right. That's why I came down here,

because I love your brother's work,

ma'am. I love it.

They said you came down here

because your husband lives here.

Who said that?

The New York people.

No - it's just a coincidence.

They said you was small potatoes.

That's right.

Ma'am, honestly,

- I can make your brother money.

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