Junior Page #3

go walk it off. Let's go.

Let's go.

I don't want to cut back

the hormones altogether.

It'll jeopardize the protocol. A

tingle and tummy ache won't kill you.

Boy, here she comes.

Excuse me.

Just what we need.

I know this is none of my business.

I can't help but notice

the lethargy, the nausea

the vials you keep leaving

in the wastepaper basket.

Yes?

Do you have a substance abusing problem?

- What?

- No!

There's nothing to be ashamed of.

I was involved in a study in

Oxford where it was categoric...

This is serious. I'm very concerned.

It's been going on for nearly a month,

and I think he should see someone.

There is a tragic disease that afflicts

the men of his village in Austria.

They even named it after the place.

It's called, "Gelandensprung Syndrome".

- "Gelandensprung"?

- Yeah.

- You've heard of it?

- No.

I'm not surprised. It's endemic to

only a few places in all the world.

Well, what is it?

It's a terrible, debilitating

relentless, you know, kind of...

Fatness.

- "Fatness".

- "Fatness"?

Striking young men in their

prime, turning them into big

wheezing...

- Strudelhunds.

- " Strudelhunds".

- " Strudelhunds"?

Pastry hounds. Yeah, that's the

insult that they hurl upon them.

I'll go get you some crackers, because

it'll head off trouble

that's approaching.

He'll be all right.

- Banes!

- But you're not fat.

Because I'm taking a new formula.

I've only nine more

weeks of the protocol.

It's funny how you don't appreciate

somebody until they're gone.

I'm not gone. You're gone.

What do you want to talk about?

It's about our contract.

Got a couple of minutes?

- Not really.

- I really need to talk to you.

I feel so humiliated.

Don't be. People get sick all the

time. There's no need to be ashamed.

I feel like I've lost

control over my body.

Control's important to you, isn't it?

What do you mean?

Same three shirts, week in, week out.

Same coat peg

same wash basin. That odd little ritual

with the liverwurst and apple every day.

- I like order. What's wrong with that?

- Nothing.

It's just an observation.

And I don't like being sick.

Is there anything wrong with that?

- It's just that men...

- Men what?

They're pathetic when it comes to pain.

You should try being a woman

sometime. It's a nightmare.

Your body goes peculiar with your

period and doesn't stop until menopause.

It's a lifetime of leaking and swelling

and spotting and smears.

Crippling cramps,

raging hormones, yeasts!

And that's if everything's normal.

- I never wanted to be a woman.

- I'm just saying.

That's perfectly normal. Not to worry.

Just stay off your feet.

Use an ice pack for a few minutes

every hour and call me in the morning.

It's okay, that's why I'm here.

- Bye.

- Look at this.

Leave 'em alone.

- Don't snap at me.

- Angela, this is my house now.

You may live here. You may die here,

but this will always be my house.

Floral, hound's tooth, then paisley.

Angela, Alex. Colleague of mine.

Nice to meet you.

- God, excuse me.

- Charmed.

I'm going upstairs to my bedroom.

He's

going through a confusing time. He's

staying here for a couple of weeks.

So what do you want?

I don't like Sneller.

We've been over this.

Ned Sneller is a top guy.

- He's creepy. I'm not going back to him.

- You're being ridiculous.

- I can't deal with this. Where's the father?

- I haven't able to reach him.

He disappeared?

They're touring. I don't know.

Europe, Asia? I can't remember which.

Who is?

Aerosmith.

One of Aerosmith knocked you up?

What a lovely phrase.

Excuse me.

- I'm a little shocked here.

- You're going to have to deal with it.

I don't have to deal with

it. We're divorced. Remember?

It's not like I'm

asking you to fix my car.

Call Louise in the morning

and she'll fit you in.

Thank you.

I am happy for you.

Thanks, Lar.

What's the matter?

She was Daddy's little girl.

Now he's giving her away.

Come on. Get a grip.

Physically, you're in tiptop shape.

Everything's right on track.

- One more week.

- Okay.

I'm sorry.

I'm just not myself.

Just relax.

Don't wait up for me

tonight. I'll be late.

Why? Where are you going?

To the pharmaceutical convention at

the Hyatt. I'm meeting the Lyndon guys.

The convention is tonight?

I told you it was tonight.

Please take me with you.

No. You stay home. Get back

in bed and just take it easy.

- You don't understand.

- I do understand. No!

- Please, listen to me.

- No. It's bad for business.

I'm pregnant and all alone.

Will you stop saying that?

You're not pregnant pregnant. You

got to think of this as an experiment.

Think of it like you

swallowed a piece of gum.

A tiny piece. Dentyne.

I won't be in your way. I'll

take walks. I'll disappear.

I feel so isolated.

Okay, you can come. But don't

do that thing with your eyes.

- I can come?

- Yes.

But I have nothing to wear.

I'm starting to get a

little headache over here.

I feel we could make a

definite contribution here.

Sounds good.

Excellent.

And you got to remember

we're talking about five million

prescriptions a year in the US, minimum.

What's the window on the

human experiment results?

Between you and I, you'll

see results within a week.

- That fast?

- Yes.

- We are very impressed. Keep us posted.

- Thank you.

Interesting pitch, Larry.

- What are you doing here?

- You know me.

I like to keep my ear to the ground.

You know that human experimentation is

against University and FDA guidelines.

I'm just trying to raise some

awareness and some new money

telling people we're further

along than we really are.

Is there a woman out

there taking Expectane?

Absolutely not.

- Where have you been?

- I had so much fun.

I had a walk and the most

wonderful message in a health club.

I had a great time. Then I took

a nap right there on the table.

Franks in blankets?

These are my favorites.

Alex, you look

radiant.

- Thank you.

- We should be going. Let's go.

- Want some franks in blankets?

- No.

I'm sorry.

It's a wonder the woman is still alive.

She looks so beautiful

tonight, don't you think so?

Where have you been?

- Long line for the loo.

- Hors d'oeuvres?

Sausage rolls. Thank you. I love these.

These are my favorites.

You look so...

I don't know.

- Enthusiastic.

- Yes, you do. You look positively lit up.

- What's the good news?

- No good news!

Life.

Music and friends.

- Franks in the blanket. I love it.

- I think we should be going. Let's go.

We should go.

Going, always going.

And one day, gone.

Just like that.

When we should be pausing to hear

the joyful melody of life itself.

He doesn't get out much.

Neither do I.

I always loved this song.

- Would you like to dance?

- Would you like to dance?

I don't know.

I've never danced before either.

- Then, I think we should give it a try.

- Good.

- Could you hold this? Thank you.

- Thank you.

Where you going?

- Okay?

- All right.

Excuse me.

I found it.

Prince Charming, the coach is leaving.

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