Junior Page #6

the band? Is that what you thought?

That's what you said.

No, that he was on tour with them. He's

not in the band. He's their trainer.

- She kicked.

- She kicked.

You come with me right now.

- What?

- Where did you get Junior?

- I told you.

- The truth! We're talking about my baby.

Keep your voice down.

I got it from Reddin's lab. So?

Well, it's Diana's.

- You mean, hers, personally?

- Yes!

You were supposed to

get an anonymous egg.

I tried. Everybody was all out.

- Can you do something right?

- Wait, don't start with me.

If you'd have stopped taking the

Expectane, this would not be an issue.

What a horrible thing to say.

Well, it's the truth.

Keeping it going was

your idea, not mine.

Women have such convenient

memories when they're pregnant.

Now take that back.

That was a Freudian slip.

I know you're not a woman.

The part about I should have

ended it. Junior heard that.

- Take it back.

- For crying out loud. I take it back.

Like you mean it.

Junior, I'm sorry. I take it back.

I just felt it kick.

- Come. Feel it.

- No, I don't think so.

Just feel it.

- Come. We need a healing experience.

- Give me a break!

Just do it!

Here.

Just watch.

Be patient. Did you see that?

Right there.

- See his little foot go.

- Right there!

It feels so good. Can you believe this?

What's going on?

What? Nothing.

You were touching him.

No.

I can't deal with this.

Can't deal with what?

What are you? What

are you two, like a...

- What are you, a twosome?

- What?

- No.

- What is going on around here?

He's pregnant.

I'm going to be a mama, too.

You're sure it's the Expectane?

Yes. We compared what you gave us with

the sample we had on file in the lab.

Who do they think they're dealing with?

That's what really hurts.

- We'll have to find out who she is.

- There's something else.

- What?

- The sample that you gave us

it was part Expectane

and part female hormones.

Estrogens and progesterone, to be exact.

Wouldn't that be consistent

with an assisted pregnancy?

Not a dosage of this size. This is

more like the amount you'd take, say

preparing for a sex change operation.

Oh, my God!

You're doing some more charting.

We'll have to do the whole thing again.

We're busy.

Please, I need to talk to you.

You need to apologize to me, don't you?

About last night, I'm sorry.

Please let me explain.

All right, then go on, explain.

Guys, would you mind?

What?

I'm, pregnant.

Good explanation.

I really am pregnant.

What?

I tested the Expectane on myself.

We fertilized an egg and

implanted it into my abdomen.

With drug and hormone supplements

I'm now seven months to term.

Oh, my God!

There's more.

More?

Larry was supposed to

find an anonymous egg

and he couldn't.

So he borrowed one

from your dairy section.

It's Junior.

My Junior?

Our Junior now.

Our Junior?

- Please, don't be angry.

- Why should I be angry?

You lie to me, you steal from me.

You engage an utterly

immoral, selfish

arrogant stunt without any

regard for my feelings whatsoever.

What am I supposed to be, grateful?

This is just so male!

- I'm sorry.

- Just don't come near me!

- I never wanted to hurt you.

- What'd you think you were doing?

You think men don't have enough?

You have to take this away as well?

- It's pitiful!

- Let me see the man who would be mom.

What are you talking about?

The greatest scientific breakthrough

in the history of this University.

Bravo. You know, we're in this

together. We have a contract.

And I quote:

"exploitation of results from

University-funded research

shall be at the sole discretion

of the University." Come on.

- I've ordered some tests.

- Leave me alone.

- He said to leave him alone.

- Escort Dr. Hesse to the ambulance.

Can't allow it! He's in

a very delicate condition.

I'm really disappointed in you.

You and your baby are

University property now.

No, I'm not.

My body, my choice

Come on.

Go!

Just easy. Breathe.

That was really scary.

- Relax. I must hide you.

- That ought to be easy.

So what did Diana say?

She said I was selfish and arrogant.

That we'd taken away her dignity

and the sacred role of womanhood.

Typical.

I can't tell you how many times

I've heard pregnant women complain:

"I just wish a man

could go through this."

You finally do it, and what do

you get? Attitude and insults.

- Yeah, you're right.

- I'm telling you.

Are you sure you'll be able

to go through with this?

I think so. I don't

have a lot of choice.

- Hello.

- Hello.

It's nice. Hello.

- How are you?

- Fine, thanks.

It's quite a place.

- Hi. - Hello. - You must be

Mr. and Mrs. Hesse?

- Welcome.

- Welcome

to Casitas Madres.

I think of Casitas Madres as a

health resort for expectant mothers.

We want you to completely

relax while you're here.

That's really good news because

that's exactly what Alexandra needs

to just totally relax.

Would you have some lemonade?

I'll have a little if it's okay.

I realize

that my appearance

might be a bit startling.

It is sometimes difficult

for people to take.

If I may speak to your concerns?

Yes, by all means.

When I was a sportswoman on the East

German Olympic track-and-field team

they dispended anabolic

steroids as freely

as here in America

they dole out Gatorade.

They pushed it on them. I mean, just...

Nothing was mentioned

of the side effects

that are now so obviously,

painfully apparent.

But I'm all woman.

Believe you me.

Of course.

I'm almost eight months pregnant, and

my Larry has to travel on business.

I dread the thought of

leaving her helpless and alone.

That's why we're here.

You've come to the right place.

- May I say something else?

- What?

You are beautiful.

- Thank you.

- Yes, you are.

And you'll love your room.

It's got a great big tub.

Big tub. That'll come in a handy.

So tomorrow I catch the first flight

to Vancouver to meet the Lyndon guys.

Shouldn't take more than three, four

days, tops. You okay, honey? Come on.

Okay, right this way.

You have your temperature

control and your call button.

It's a very nice room, huh?

And extra blankets in the drawer.

- Here's your key.

- I want you to take good care of her.

Of course we will.

- No.

- All right. Bye.

Big.

It's nice.

You really think the baby will be born?

I want to say, "Of course".

But there's no precedent for this.

God knows what's going on in there.

- But everything will be all right?

- It better be.

It's my baby too, you know.

Take it easy.

Thanks for everything.

It's Alex.

In crease you're there, please pick up.

I really need to talk to you.

Push, okay.

A little more gentle with babies.

I love you.

I guess so.

And remember, no names.

This isn't a test.

Thanks.

This should be very interesting.

Let's see.

She writes:

"My biggest fear is that I'm not exactly

what you call a natural-born mother.

How will I ever cope?"

You know I think we have

to dispense with the myth

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