Juno

EXT. CENTENNIAL LANE - DUSK

JUNO MacGUFF stands on a placid street in a nondescript

subdivision, facing the curb. It's FALL. Juno is sixteen

years old, an artfully bedraggled burnout kid. She winces

and shields her eyes from the glare of the sun. The object

of her rapt attention is a battered living room set, abandoned

curbside by its former owners. There is a fetid-looking

leather recliner, a chrome-edged coffee table, and a tasteless

latchhooked rug featuring a roaring tiger.

JUNO (V.O.)

It started with a chair.

INT. BLEEKER HOUSE - MOLD-O'-RIFFIC BASEMENT - NIGHT

FLASHBACK - Juno approaches a boy hidden by shadow. He's

sitting in an overstuffed chair. She slowly, clumsily lowers

herself onto his lap.

A 60's Brazilian track plays from a vintage record player.

WHISPERED VOICE:

Do you know how long I've wanted

this?

JUNO:

Yeah.

WHISPERED VOICE:

Wizard.

EXT. CENTENNIAL LANE - CONTINUED

A DOG barks, jarring Juno back to reality.

JUNO:

Quiet, Banana. Hey, shut your gob

for a second, okay?

We see a teacup poodle tethered in the yard a few feet away

from the abandoned living room set. The dog yaps again.

JUNO (V.O.)

This is the most magnificent discarded

living room set I've ever seen.

She swigs from an absurdly oversized carton of juice and

wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

BEGIN ANIMATED TITLE SEQUENCE:

Juno marching down various street, pumping her arms like a

jogger and chugging intermittently from the huge carton of

juice. We watch her breathlessly navigate suburbia, clearly

on a mission.

EXT. DRUGSTORE - DAY

Finally, a panting Juno arrives at DANCING ELK DRUG on the

main drag of her small Minnesota suburb, Dancing Elk.

The automatic doors of the store part to reveal Juno's flushed

serious face. She carelessly flings the empty juice container

over her shoulder and onto the curb. A group of DROPOUTS

with skateboards near the entrance glare at her.

She enters the DRUGSTORE.

INT. DRUGSTORE - CONTINUOUS

ROLLO, the eccentric drugstore clerk, sneers at Juno from

behind the counter. He wears a polyester uniform vest.

ROLLO:

Well, well. If it isn't MacGuff the

Crime Dog! Back for another test?

JUNO:

I think the last one was defective.

The plus sign looked more like a

division sign.

Rollo regards her with intense skepticism.

JUNO:

I remain unconvinced.

Rollo pulls the bathroom key out of reach.

ROLLO:

This is your third test today, Mama

Bear. Your eggo is preggo, no doubt

about it!

An eavesdropping TOUGH GIRL wearing an oversized jacket and

lots of makeup gapes at Juno from the beauty aisle.

TOUGH GIRL:

Three times? Oh girl, you are way

pregnant. It's easy to tell. Is your

nipples real brown?

A pile of stolen COSMETICS falls out of the girl's jacket

and clatters to the floor.

TOUGH GIRL:

Balls!

Juno crosses and crosses her legs awkwardly, hopping. It's

obvious she has to use the bathroom urgently.

ROLLO:

Maybe you're having twins. Maybe

your little boyfriend's got mutant

sperms and he knocked you up twice!

JUNO:

Silencio! I just drank my weight in

Sunny D. and I have to go, pronto.

Rollo sighs and slips her the bathroom key. Juno races down

one of the aisles.

ROLLO:

Well, you know where the lavatory

is.

(calling after her)

You pay for that pee stick when you're

done! Don't think it's yours just

because you've marked it with your

urine!

JUNO:

Jesus, I didn't say it was.

ROLLO:

Well, it's not. You're not a lion in

a pride!

(to himself)

These kids, acting like lions with

their unplanned pregnancies and their

Sunny Delights.

INT. DRUGSTORE - BATHROOM - DAY

In the dim, reeking public bathroom, Juno hovers over the

commode with her boxer shorts around her ankles. She clumsily

tries to use the pregnancy test.

We see the test box sitting on the sink. It's a TeenWave

Discount Pregnancy Test. The accompanying outdated package

photo is of a shrugging 80s teen with a resigned expression.

The fine print on the box reads "From the makers of Sun-Glitz

Lightening Hair Spritz!"

INT. DRUGSTORE - FRONT COUNTER - DAY

Juno holds the developing test in her hand and slaps the

open test box on the front counter. Rollo scans it and bags

it indifferently.

JUNO:

Oh, and this too.

She places a giant licorice Super Rope on the counter.

ROLLO:

So what's the prognosis, Fertile

Myrtle? Minus or plus?

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