Juno Page #15

Mark looks jolted, as if it's the first time he considered

that her baby might have a father. He stands up and holds

the photo up to the light critically.

MARK:

Can you tell if it's a boy or a girl?

JUNO:

The doctor can tell, but I decided

not to know. I want it to be a big

surprise.

MARK:

Well, it can really only go two ways.

JUNO:

That's what you think. I drink tons

of booze so you might get one of

those scary neuter-babies that's

born without junk.

MARK:

Junk?

JUNO:

You know... it's parts...

MARK:

I know what junk is.

JUNO:

(teasing)

Yeah?

MARK:

We definitely want it to have junk.

JUNO:

Well don't worry about it. My stepmom

is forcing me to eat really healthy.

She won't even let me stand in front

of the microwave or eat red M&Ms.

Hope you're ready.

Mark chuckles.

MARK:

Wait...do you hear that?

A new SONG has begun. Mark closes his eyes in ecstasy and

walks toward the stereo. Juno follows him toward the source

of the music, looking perplexed by how happy he is.

JUNO:

What is it?

MARK:

It's only my favorite song. It's

Sonic Youth doing "Superstar" by the

Carpenters.

JUNO:

(excited)

I've heard the Carpenters before.

Chick drummer and freaky dude. Not

unlike the White Stripes.

MARK:

You haven't heard the Carpenters

like this. Listen.

Mark grabs the STEREO REMOTE off the kitchen counter and

turns up the volume to a roar. Mark and Juno stand in silence

in the kitchen. Mark mouths along with the lyrics.

MARK:

(lipsynching)

Don't you remember you told me you

loved me, baby...

JUNO:

Hey, I like this.

MARK:

This album is all Carpenters covers

by alt-rock bands. It's called If I

Were a Carpenter. It is God. I'll

rip a copy for you before you leave.

JUNO:

You don't have to do that.

MARK:

It's the least I can do. What did

you say your favorite band was?

JUNO:

I didn't. But it's a three-way tie

between the Stooges, Patti Smith and

the Runaways.

MARK:

Yeah, I definitely need to make you

some CDs. At least while my kid is

hanging out in there.

He gestures at Juno's burgeoning paunch.

Mark walks over to his music collections and starts pulling

CD's. He's got a Carpenter's disc, the "No Alternative"

charity compilation, and Mother Love Bone.

Juno spots a VHS TAPE on the coffee table and picks it up.

JUNO:

(reading title)

The Wizard of Gore?

MARK:

(distracted)

Oh yeah. It's Herschel Gordon Lewis.

He's the ultimate master of horror.

JUNO:

Please. Dario Argento is the ultimate

master of horror.

Mark SWIVELS AROUND slowly on his desk chair, surprised.

MARK:

Argento's good, but Lewis is

completely demented. We're talking

buckets of goo. Red corn syrup

everywhere. And fake brains up the

yin-yang.

JUNO:

(examining the tape

box)

Frankly, this looks kind of stupid.

Mark gives a look - "Oh, Really?"

INT. LORING HOUSE - DEN - AFTERNOON

We see some particularly memorable footage from The Wizard

of Gore.

Mark and Juno are watching the movie and drinking root beer

floats. They're sitting dangerously close on the sofa.

JUNO:

(watching movie)

This is even better than Suspiria.

You've got decent taste in slasher

movies, Mark.

MARK:

Here's to dovetailing interests.

He raises his mug in a toast and Juno clinks it awkwardly.

JUNO:

So, have you and Vanessa thought of

a name for the baby yet?

MARK:

Well, sort of. Vanessa likes Madison

for a girl.

JUNO:

(aghast)

Madison? Isn't that kind of... I

don't know, gay?

MARK:

God, pretentious much? I guess

everyone should have a mysterious

name like Juno, huh?

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