Juno Page #19

VANESSA:

You should read the book. I even

flagged the "daddy chapters" for

you.

MARK:

I just think it's too early to paint.

That's my opinion.

VANESSA:

And I disagree.

Mark shrugs, resigned.

Vanessa points to the nursery's largest wall.

VANESSA:

That wall is going to need something.

Maybe we could put our first family

picture there.

MARK:

Hm.

VANESSA:

Can you see it?

Mark stares at the wall, looking lost.

INT. RIDGEDALE MALL - DAY

Juno and Leah are walking through the mall, looking bored.

Juno is wearing one of Mac's giant hockey jerseys in lieu of

actual maternity wear. Leah gnaws on a giant cinnamon pretzel.

LEAH:

Yum. This pretzel tastes like a

friggin' donut!

JUNO:

Share the love, Tits!

She wrestles Leah for the pretzel. Onlookers stare at them,

appalled, as Leah puts Juno in a half-Nelson.

JUNO:

(to eavesdroppers)

She's assaulting me! She's denying

me fresh-baked goodness!

Leah claps a hand over Juno's mouth.

JUNO:

(muffled)

Hly shht!

LEAH:

What?

Juno drags Leah behind a pillar and peers out from behind

it. They're watching a group of well-heeled women and their

children shopping en masse. One of the women is pushing a

toddler in an ultramodern stroller. And one of the women is

VANESSA, looking vaguely detached.

JUNO:

(hushed)

That's her. That's Vanessa Loring.

LEAH:

Of the Penny Saver Lorings?

Juno nods.

LEAH:

No way! She's pretty.

JUNO:

You sound shocked or something.

LEAH:

I just thought she'd look really old

in real life.

The women gather near a play area, sip Frapps and loudly

discuss their outfits for an upcoming party.

WOMAN #1

And I was like, "No offense, sweetie,

but nobody looks good in gauchos."

WOMAN #2

Especially not with her build.

JUNO:

(mimicking the women,

Peanuts-style)

Wah-wah-waaah!

One of the little girls in the group tugs at Vanessa's sleeve.

Vanessa happily follows the little girl over to their play

area and begins to play energetically with her.

Juno watches intently, but Leah just snickers.

LEAH:

She's gonna steal that kid for her

collection.

JUNO:

Right, seriously.

They watch Vanessa for a few more moments. The other kids

wander over toward the play area while their mothers ignore

them. Vanessa continues to entertain the children.

LEAH:

Bo-ring!

Leah stands up. Juno lingers for a moment.

INT. RIDGEDALE MALL - ELEVATOR BANK - A HALF HOUR LATER

Leah and Juno approach the elevator.

JUNO:

I want a huge cookie. And like, a

lamb kebob. Simultaneously.

LEAH:

God, Spermy. Must you always feed?

The elevator door opens, revealing... Vanessa.

VANESSA:

Juno?

Juno tries her best to look enthused.

JUNO:

Well hi Vanessa! What brings you to

the mall today?

VANESSA:

Just, you know, shopping with my

girlfriends.

LEAH:

You're gay?

Juno glares at Leah.

VANESSA:

(confused)

No...

JUNO:

Please excuse Leah. She's mentally

challenged.

VANESSA:

Oh, okay. So... how are you feeling?

JUNO:

Happy? Oh, you mean like, physically.

I'm good. Look, I have a snooze button

now!

She lifts her shirt and presses her popped-out NAVEL.

VANESSA:

That's great.

Vanessa is admiring the belly, when Juno grimaces.

JUNO:

Dude, it's moshing all over.

Vanessa looks confused.

JUNO:

(explains)

It's kicking.

Vanessa nods in understanding then begins summoning the

courage for an unusual request.

VANESSA:

Um... Juno, can I -- Can I touch it?

JUNO:

Are you kidding? Everyone at school

is always grabbing at my belly. I'm

like a legend. They call me the

Cautionary Whale.

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