Just Add Water Page #5

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- Okay. Oh...

Honey, I need a hot bath.

Oh, yeah, honey, come on.

Gonna take care of Daddy?

My goodness.

Damn.

Evening, gentlemen.

Hi, Nora.

Hey.

That the new car?

Barely runs.

It'll be fine once we get done with it.

Sorry to barge in on you,

but I could use some help.

Sure. That's nice.

Where'd you get that?

Thrift store in Ridgecrest.

You want to help me get it inside?

Let me go lock up.

No. It's for you, Ray.

You got this for me?

How come?

Just thought it'd be nice for you

to have a place to get comfortable

so you can have company,

to chat and things.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Think you could give

us a hand, Den?

Got a couple of long necks

with your name on 'em.

You got yourself a deal.

Heavy little thing.

Dang if that don't look just great.

Man, that was quite a workout.

I sure am thirsty.

Oh, right.

Got you covered.

Damn.

This place is

a hell of a lot nicer than my hole.

You know, I was thinking

maybe me and you could

get together sometime...

reminisce.

About what?

Here you go, Den.

Oh, bitchin'.

See you guys later.

He's a character, that boy.

He's harmless enough.

His wife's another kettle of fish.

- Was she in our class?

- Not for very long.

Think she got thrown out for beating up

the vice principal or something.

Take it for a test drive.

Well, what do you think?

Feels good.

Mmm, yeah.

You're awful sweet, aren't you?

Well, you tell me.

Well, I think you are, yeah.

Real sweet.

Well, I didn't mean

to barge in like this...

so you just enjoy

this here sofa,

and maybe sometime

we'll get to share it together again.

I don't think I'll let anyone else

sit on it except for you and me.

What's so funny?

I'm serious.

Now, why are you looking

at me like that?

- Like what?

- Just like that.

Like I got something in my teeth.

Is that really

how I'm looking at you, Ray?

Well, not exactly, I guess...

but you sure look at me different

than any woman ever has.

Oh, now...

What's that about?

Well, maybe I'm just enjoying

being able to sit with you face to face

after all these years.

How, until recently,

I hadn't got to spend

more than five or ten minutes

at a time with you since 11th grade,

but how that was enough for me.

Well, as you like say,

you got to get up early, so...

I ain't saying it now.

Yeah, well, maybe I am.

Hey, Nora, let's get loaded.

...in front of my house.

Eddie, come with me.

Get the f*** away

from my bike, man.

Seriously.

All right.

Let's go.

Hurry up. Hurry up, man.

Take it.

Spoonie, you keep a lookout.

Eddie, come with me.

Goddamn it, what did I tell you

about doing that in front of me!

What are you, six?

Sorry, Dirk.

It's f***ing gross.

Which one of you inbreds

left the door unlocked?

Where's the lock?

- For what?

- For the door, you idiot.

- I ain't no idiot.

- You're such a f***ing idiot!

You're an idiot.

- What?

- What?

Denny, hey, dumbass!

The power's off again.

- Denny!

- All right, woman, I hear you.

Hey, Ray?

Power's off again.

So's the water.

Ray, I'm current on the rent.

I swear everybody

in the neighborhood's all paid, too.

Did you take out

the goddamn batteries?

I think it's a plug-in.

Plug it in to f***ing what?

Hello. I'm sweating

my balls off out here.

Yeah, I was right in the middle

of my weekly shower.

Well, there's nothing

we can do about it tonight, so...

How abouts we just don't

pay our rents no more?

- He'll have to do what we says.

- Want to risk being thrown out?

- Where you gonna move, Den?

- In with you.

Then what are we supposed to do?

You all just cope a little while,

and we'll get squared soon,

I promise.

F***ing...

B*tch!

Go to town and get the Huggies.

B*tch, what do you think I'm doing?

- I'm a responsible-ass father.

- I asked you five hours ago.

I know what the hell

I'm supposed to be doing.

Get the Huggies!

Just mind your own babies,

goddamn it.

What?

You wanna work off

the rent money you owe me?

Like a... a job?

Take this list, go in to Ridgecrest

to a Supply Sergeant.

Well, Ray, I'm sort of busy today.

Too bad.

Do it.

Be at my house, 11:00.

And tell Selma to bring her A game.

Scotty. Scotty.

Got a little assignment for you.

Don't you think "Happy Days"

is just the best?

It is awfully good.

There's no denying it.

We really do have quite a lot

in common, don't you think?

I do, Ray.

Special Ops to the rescue.

Now, Ray, this may be a little short,

but I let out the crotch.

Den, there's just no way.

- No?

- No.

Just a thought.

Well, it's not

a Junior Miss pageant, Ray.

Door's open.

Hey, kids.

Thanks for showing, Merl.

I wouldn't miss this for the world.

I can't wait to chew that jerk

a new set of butt cheeks.

Howdy, folks.

Am I late?

- Right on time.

- Well, how cool is that?

I don't think I've been on time

my whole life.

Who invited

the Chippendales reject?

Scotty, you forget to change?

Never mind.

Running behind schedule.

Hey, everybody.

Heard you folks need

a little ass kicked.

Coming up on 2300 hours.

Everyone clear on their mission?

- You bet.

- Yeah.

All right, then.

Let's light this candle.

Right.

Okay, let's go.

What has gotten into you,

Ray Tuckby?

Life, Nora.

Life's gotten into me.

I mean, can you just imagine

these dinosaurs thundering

over the Earth in the Jurassic age?

Here we go.

Let's go over here.

Get down.

Twenty bucks says it won't go off.

Make it 30, and it's a deal.

I'll have to owe you the extra ten.

Okay, I guess.

What the heck?

Didn't Dirk say nobody

was allowed up here?

Excuse me.

I'm lost, and I cannot find my way.

Where you trying to get to?

Bakersfield.

Highway is just down yonder.

How can I ever repay you?

Hey, what are you doing here?

Coming!

Yeah?

Hey there! Excuse me.

What the hell you doing?

Get out of my house!

Never did appreciate that breed.

That's quite a talent

your wife's got there.

She do parties as well?

Knock it off, you perv.

- Is he dead?

- Candy, get out here!

There's a dead guy.

Shut up!

You'll wake the baby.

Boy, am I glad Denny shoots blanks.

Okay, let's go.

I'll hand him up to you.

You start loading the truck.

Just so you know,

babies give me the heebie-jeebies.

Good job, Den.

Come on.

Come on.

Remember, Selma, be gentle.

Go on.

Yuck.

So what's it gonna be, tough guy?

Join the resistance

or get vaporized?

That's our cue.

Come on.

Just another minute.

Well, here goes.

Gonna make ourselves

a whole new future, gentlemen.

What's wrong?

I was just kinda hoping

I could push the button, Mr. Tuckby.

I really like blowin' sh*t up.

All right, but

no funny business, you hear?

Tits!

Get the truck

and take him to the dump.

For real, Dirk?

Deal with it, goddamn it!

This is for calling me an idiot

every day of my life, Dirk.

Go get a potato sack and some twine.

I'll go get the truck.

What the... hey!

That's for giving me

heat rash, mo-fo.

It can go boy, it can go girl.

Scotty, you do whatever

the hell you want with him.

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